Author ahr268 Posted November 10, 2008 Author Posted November 10, 2008 Exactly. If she was to see her husband basically simulating sex on the dancefloor with another woman, I highly doubt she'd be ok with it. Maybe i wasnt very clear before - but there was no "simulating sex" on the dancefloor. And, yes, it makes a huge difference that the man's hands were on my waist and not my breasts. Btw, went to work today, had a few laughs with colleagues about the dancing, nothing uncomfortable, thankfully. And, also, had time to look at my ex-dancing partner and realise that part of the reason I was felt so guilty after that dancing was due to scary previous experience with the emotional factor involved. But still wouldn't repeat the dancing with him. Will only dance with ugly guys now
AAlike Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 me, I don't particularly appreciate a significant other of mine acting like she is being $%^$#d on the dancefloor. this is a tad melodramatic, don't you think? I've done silly "bump and grind" type dances with my friend's GF's and/or wives and at no point was I thinking that I was "practically f*cking" them. plus, OP was doing Latin dances - and even though they do require some physical contact, I don't think that it's lewd in any way. obviously there is no right or wrong answer to this, it's all whatever fits within your agreed-upon comfort zone...but I think that it's safe to say that doing the rhumba is hardly "simulated sex." OP - it's clear from your post that you have no problem justifying the dancing itself, but yet you still have some doubts...and those stem from statements like this: "But, when we do attend the same meeting, for example, I have on previous occasions found myself staring at him and thinking that he's one attractive man (who's also sharp, easy-going, and often the life of a party)" - ummm, that doesn't sound like something that you say about someone that's merely a colleague.
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 On your husband: "He's also on the slight side - my height, rather wiry than muscular." On your co-worker: "I loved every minute of it: having a tall, attractive, agile man hold me, spin me around." "But, when we do attend the same meeting, for example, I have on previous occasions found myself staring at him and thinking that he's one attractive man (who's also sharp, easy-going, and often the life of a party)." Pointing out how short and unttractive your husband is in comparison to your tall, attractive co-worker certainly doesn't make it sound like your husband is the only person you want. Geisha: while I don't agree with Dexter's views on child abuse, I do agree that "pushing boundaries for fun" is a very disloyal/disrespectful thing to do to one's partner.
Geishawhelk Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 Geisha: while I don't agree with Dexter's views on child abuse, I do agree that "pushing boundaries for fun" is a very disloyal/disrespectful thing to do to one's partner. I completely agree with you. If said partner knows nothing about it, and you do it behind his back. But I didn't. And he went to a University do, and indulged in exactly the same thing. And told me about it. (see my post.....) Where is the disloyalty and disrespect there, please?
Dexter Morgan Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 Maybe i wasnt very clear before - but there was no "simulating sex" on the dancefloor. And, yes, it makes a huge difference that the man's hands were on my waist and not my breasts. Of course YOU think there is a huge difference. I highly doubt it would be to your husband. hence your reluctance to tell him about it.
Dexter Morgan Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 Geisha: while I don't agree with Dexter's views on child abuse Really, so just what ARE my views on child abuse?
Dexter Morgan Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 this is a tad melodramatic, don't you think? I've done silly "bump and grind" type dances with my friend's GF's and/or wives and at no point was I thinking that I was "practically f*cking" them. plus, OP was doing Latin dances - and even though they do require some physical contact, I don't think that it's lewd in any way. obviously there is no right or wrong answer to this, it's all whatever fits within your agreed-upon comfort zone...but I think that it's safe to say that doing the rhumba is hardly "simulated sex." the rhumba is hardly the same kind of "back that ass up" dancing that goes on in clubs today.
AAlike Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 the rhumba is hardly the same kind of "back that ass up" dancing that goes on in clubs today. right - and in her post she said that she was doing something like the Rhumba. hence me saying that you were being melodramatic.
Dexter Morgan Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 right - and in her post she said that she was doing something like the Rhumba. hence me saying that you were being melodramatic. then if it wasn't so bad, why does she have a problem telling her husband then?
AAlike Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 Really, so just what ARE my views on child abuse? i agree with Dexter here - although I think that in most cases hitting children should be a last resort, I also think that the implication that any type of physical discipline is "child abuse" is kind of ridiculous. I think that it's up to the parent to deduce which children respond to which forms of disciplinary tactics. and obviously any hitting should be done to scare, not to injure. and back to the real thread - again, "pushing boundaries" can be a very relative term. I think that to some extent, it's human nature to flirt even within a relationship, and provided you as the flirter know that you're doing this more just for the sport of it than from any genuine interest, I don't think that it's really a problem. that's what I think that Geisha is talking about - that moment in time in which we think to ourselves that we "still have it"...something that can quickly be forgotten during the more tedious times of a long relationship. nothing wrong with that at all, and I think in a good, trusting relationship, it's probably healthy. This would all be well and good, OP, IF that moment in time had been about you and the people in it were essentially rendered unimportant. however, I think with your keyboard-drooling over this dude, that isn't really the case.
AAlike Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 then if it wasn't so bad, why does she have a problem telling her husband then? because, as I said, I think that the moment meant more to her than the dancing. I mean, she said herself she takes dance classes and "knows the difference" so why is it bothering her? let's put it this way - what would bother you more - your wife telling you "hey I danced with some guy at the office party, it was funny." Or your wife talking about a guy in the office by saying "But, when we do attend the same meeting, for example, I have on previous occasions found myself staring at him and thinking that he's one attractive man (who's also sharp, easy-going, and often the life of a party)." so is the dancing really the issue?
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