Alex_M Posted November 8, 2008 Posted November 8, 2008 Me and my GF had been going out for the past 2 years. Well in fact I met her on the internet, and we had only started seeing each other in person irregularly. But we would talk evernight untill one of us fell asleep. She told me she loved me one day, and I felt the same. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. We had our fair share of fights, usuallly about me not giving her attention. I told her I was sorry (and I was) for each individual case, but I don't think I saw the problem in the bigger picture. She was always calling and texting me, I wasn't doing it back. In hindsight she must have got the impression that I didn't care as much as her. BUT THAT'S NOT TRUE. I feel like I was a lot worse to her than I actually probably was, I was always there for her when she truely needed me and I loved her and she must have known it. Somtimes I made up poor excuses not to see her because I didn't have the money to take her out and make her feel special (stupid idea I know). I could probably go on for hours. We had our ups and downs but we were happy. So. The big day comes and she moves to university. I was so excited, but at the same time I had some undesirably problems at the same time. She wanted me to stay with her the first week and I didn't feel up to it. I then missed her birthday because A: I wasn't feeling well and B: I wanted to do it the next weekend because we would have only had the friday and the saturday morning before she went back to her parents. She was a little upset but seemed ok. Then she comes back, and is suddenly staying out at friends houses all the time. I call and call and she's always telling me sorry but she's really busy. I get angry in the end and ask her what the hell is going on. She tells me that she's not happy and doesn't think we're working. I go to see her the next day hoping to make it better. I can see in her eyes she still cares about me. But nothing changes, she walks me back to the train station and I cry and then she cries and we sit in the cold together for hours. I eventually leave and that is the last I have seen of her in real life. We have spoken on the phone, which usually ends badly. I tried asking her what the problems were, she said she just doesn't feel like being in a relationship and more, and that this is her new life and she's living each day as it comes. She says her feelings for me have changed. She says she really does want to stay friends (That's how we started out) But we used to talk all the time! I can understand perhaps she needs time and that's what i'm waiting for now. But as you can imagine I feel terrible. Everything in my life was based around her. My new job, my daily routine. I would be semi-fine just being friends with her, and rebuilding her faith in me. But at the moment she seems so, cold and detached. Like she used to always be on MSN but now she's on for 15 minutes, says "Hi" and then is "going out" for whatever reason. We still get on fine and I'm happy when she's talking to me properly but I'm not sure I can handle being such a small part of her life. I'm not even sure I can forgive what she's done to me. Perhaps she needs time to feel comfortable around me again. But I feel replaced, by her new uni friends. I know in my heart that there is no one else she's interested in. I can also tell because all the facts lead to this conclusion. This girl was the one for me, the one I was going to marry and have kids with and now she's gone. I'm trying so hard not to breakdown but I don't feel like even getting up in the mornings. I've tried going out with friends to feel preoccupied but I had to come home because I was feeling worse and worse. This is the greatest girl in the world and I would do anything for her. But she just doesn't want to know. I've told her how I felt and explained myself to her about how I did care I was just bad at showing it and the fact that the reasons I didn't want to see her somtimes is because I didn't have the money. She got really upset hearing all this but said in the end "what's done is done, nothing can change that." She says she misses me. I think she has stopped having feelins for me, can it really be true? Am I on my own? Am I living in a fairytale in which I leave her alone and she realises that she misses me and comes back to me with open arms? I'm sorry this is so poorly structured I was just saying things as they came to my head. I havn't even included half the details. I'll add things as I think them up. Thanks for reading such a long piece of text. Any words of wisdom would be great. I'm not ready to move on from her yet. She mean's the world to me. I would even wait for her to be ready again. I feel so pathetic, it's not like me at all. I used to be so strong willed, I never let anyone else get me down. But I thought this was permenant, I let myself lose control. Now I'm lost. Lost in an ocean of dissaray. Somone throw me a lifejacket
ohmydear Posted November 8, 2008 Posted November 8, 2008 Alex I am so sorry you are going through this. I am going through the same thing (I am the post right below yours). We have been "broke up" 2 months but have been actively working on working things out (or so I thought- see my post for info). Anyway just wanted you to know if you need someone to talk or vent to pm me.
Author Alex_M Posted November 8, 2008 Author Posted November 8, 2008 Your problem sounds almost exactly like mine. It's nice to know that there are others out there . What are your plans? Try and win her back. If so how? She always gets out of making plans with me now. Although she did recently say it was "too soon".
ohmydear Posted November 8, 2008 Posted November 8, 2008 Your problem sounds almost exactly like mine. It's nice to know that there are others out there . What are your plans? Try and win her back. If so how? She always gets out of making plans with me now. Although she did recently say it was "too soon". First I am girl. Just wanted to let you know that. I have no idea what my plans are because discovering he is on that dating site (even though it doesn't say looking for a relationship, it says here fore email/talk) has drove me off the deep end. Just LAST NIGHT he called me to say good night (this is after HIM calling me 3 other times thru the day and sending me an email) and during the evening call said I love you. He is confusing me so much. I just don't know if he is hanging on to me in case he doesn't find someone else or if he has true love for me. Now I am questioning the whole relationship. I am hurting so bad and I know you are too. I wish I could give you more advice but I am in the same boat as you.
Author Alex_M Posted November 8, 2008 Author Posted November 8, 2008 I don't know if I should keep trying for her or if I should just let her go. How did you start getting your BF to try and patch things up. My ex is just telling me she doesn't want a relationship.
ohmydear Posted November 8, 2008 Posted November 8, 2008 I answered this question for you in my post. I am not sure what to advise you. I think if I were you I would do no contact for a few days to show her you can live without her and even more make her wonder WHY you are not contacting. Then after a few days send a casual email saying hi. BTW how old are you and her?
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