YoungandRestless Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 So I am new to this community and have a problem that I cannot seem to deal with on my own. I just need someone to talk to I guess. My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for about 1 and 1/2 years now. We live together (after his mom died) and spend most of our time with each other. About 2 months ago he kept getting these calls and messages from some number. They asked if it was my boyfriends phone and stuff like that. I asked him who it was and he said he didn't know and didnt even respond to the messages.I was playing a game on my boyfriend phone when a text came through from that same number that had texted him the week before. (he had gotten a new phone so only had about 5 or 6 numbers saved). The message said something like "so what did you mean yesterday? Guys like to mess with my head a lot so i just wanted to know what you were talking about" or something like that. I read this and when he came into the room i let it loose on him. I was so mad i walked out of the house. He told me that he didn't know what they were talking about, but when i started to yell at him some more he told me that it was his good friends ex girlfriend who just wanted to see how he was doing and she told him how she just got dumped and was really sad about it. He told me he told her that she was a great person and would find someone worthwhile. Now this might seem sweet, but my boyfriend NEVER says **** like that. NOT TO ANYONE. So it was automatically hard to believe.When i asked him why he lied to me he said that it was because i am a jealous person and he knew that i would freak out about it and he didnt want that. (pretty true, but if it was truly innocent i could understand that) But the fact that he lied about it in the first place really hurt me, cause now i do not know if i can trust him at all. Now a few months later we have been spending a little less time together with busy schedules and when we were sleeping this morning, he got like 4 texts from that same old number we had a problem with before. When i asked who it was he said it was his friend 'J'. Now i know he has J's number stored in his phone and this number came up just the number. So as much as i want to trust him he makes it really hard. It always seems like this random number texts him after he isn't with me for a night. Now i know hes NOT actually cheating on me. But why is he still lying about this? When i bring it up he tells me i am being stupid and i shouldnt be reading his texts anyways. I just don't know what to do. He is an amazing person. I just am hurt by these secret messages and he wont talk about it. I am sorry for such a long post. I just need someone to talk to. I don't really have anyone anymore. Thanks again.
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted November 8, 2008 Posted November 8, 2008 People lie when they have no respect for the person they're lying to. People that make excuses for lying are losers. If nothing was actually going on, he wouldn't need to lie. I think you deserve better.
You'reasian Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 Devil's advocate: are you being insecure? His cell phone is his, not yours - why read his texts?
PrincessPeach Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 I think there is a lack of respect going on here both ways. He isn't being completely honest with you. And you are going through or investigating personal things of his. There are times when my boyfriend is holding on to my phone, when I don't want to carry my purse around, and it will ring or make a noise. He'll take it out and just hand it to me without even looking at it. I never had to ask him not to, he just trusts me and respects my privacy. Similarly, I don't ever feel a need to look through his stuff. I think both of you have issues you need to work out with each other, and if you both aren't willing to change for the benefit of each other then you should probably end it before it blows up in both of your faces.
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