missing him: It's been 2 years and 9 months and I still haven't come over my ex bf

[Sunshin]

Hi Everyone!!!

 

I just need to share this with someone, and I have been on this website for over a yr now. So I'm comfortable enough to say those things that I have in my mind which I cann't share it with anybody.....

 

I still haven't come over my ex bf (my first), I cann't stop thinking about him and I miss him so much. It has been 2yrs & 9 months now but I still remember all the single things about him.

 

What should I do?????

 

My heart hurts deeply when I'm thinking of him and I regrete badly when I think what had happened back then........

 

I miss him even more when I feel deeply lonely and lost, I cry even more and more when I'm thinking of him.......it hurting me so badly!!!!

[girliegurl66]

Hey Girl, I know what you are going through. Me and my ex boyfriend of 5 years broke up about 9 months ago. I still miss him alot and think about him. I would always talk to him about giving me a second chance but he wouldn't want to and just wanted to explore out there and see whats there. Even though we weren't going out we would get into big fights and he would say that he doesn't want to even talk to me anymore or even be my friend. It hurts me when he says that, but i know it's my fault for always starting the fights. But just about 1 week ago, i got him really mad, and now he says he doesn't even want to talk to me or even be my friend.

 

Now I gave up on him, and decided I will play hard to get now, I wouldn't call him, i'll just make him call me if he wants to. Everyone says just to forget about him, but i can't. I really love him alot, and I know what you're going through. But don't worry if it was meant to be you two will get back together, and i hope someday me and my ex will too. why don't you just call him, and just talk and start out as friends, and maybe you don't know what will happen next. Good Luck.

[PurpleAngel]

I still haven't come over my ex bf (my first), I cann't stop thinking about him and I miss him so much. It has been 2yrs & 9 months now but I still remember all the single things about him.

 

What should I do?????

 

YOU NEED TO ACKNOWLEDGE that it is over between you. Acting like this is NOT healthy Sunshin. You need to start creating a life for yourself now. Do things for you!

 

My heart hurts deeply when I'm thinking of him and I regrete badly when I think what had happened back then........

 

What has happened has happened. YOU MUST MAKE PEACE WITH IT!

 

I miss him even more when I feel deeply lonely and lost, I cry even more and more when I'm thinking of him.......it hurting me so badly!!!!

 

Stop thinking of him! What is there to think about. You have a problem and you need to start thinking of you my dear! Sounds like you think more of him than you do yourself! Devote this time to YOU! Move on, you must!

 

You must start thinking of you and your mental health. I understand that you are lonely BUT you must react, do something, you cannot keep pining over someone that left your life years ago! Friends are a great sort of support and can ease loneliness. Spend time in the community, go and help disabled people, then you might even feel grateful to have been in love for that short time! Go to the gym if you don’t already! Do things that value you as a person, make you feel good, worthy and GET OUT THERE! Meet some new people, maybe a new man! I am sure he is out there, he is just waiting for you to show yourself, SO DON’T KEEP HIM WAITING by thinking about someone who is no longer part of your life!

 

Good Luck to you. Have faith and get busy!

~PurpleAngel~

[Sunshin]

Thank you so much for your guys' replies.......

 

 

PurpleAngel, I started to date again after 5-6 months we broke up, but I realize that I cannt never forget him and in some how I always miss him. Though, I think that you are absolutely right that I need to go more out in grounds. I do have some nice friends but I cann't share my problem with them, and I must admite that I spend too much time by myself sometimes.

 

Actually, I'm not sad & crying all say long but sometimes in the moments where things remind me of him or time to time I miss him, I can get sad. I know & want to move on, but I think he will always be in my heart. Though, will try not to cry over the memberies with him, and feel less sad by each time I think of him.

 

I feel much better when I got your guys' replies...thank you...lol

[princess rose]

Sunshin:

 

I agree with Purple Angel, it is NOT Healthy to pine over someone for this long. Stop and consider what might be missing in other parts of your life that makes you long for this after so long. Find a hobby, find healthy friends, keep busy and you won't have the time for or interest in thinking about you ex. Good luck.

[channa]

gurl, i know how you feel. my boyfriend of 2 years just broke up with me last month and now i'm talking to this other guy. every time my new guy calls i wish it was my ex saying that he wants me back. it isn't easy, but you have to keep moving on.

[seeking_closure04]

I can relate sunshin; it's always losing your first love that hurts the most, no matter who's at fault or whatever is the reason/s. There's so many things you want to tell that person, after so much time having passed, you want to pour every ounce of your heart out and say how much you still love him/her. Depending on how bad the break up was, sometimes even that effort in itself won't make a difference. In my case, for instance, so much damage was done; there was so much heartbreak on her part that nothing in this world is going to bring her and I back together. I broke up with my first true love, Jo Ann, after being friends with her for a pretty good portion of my life. It's a long story, so why don't you read all about it to get a better understanding:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t40158/

 

It's a painful experience indeed, but it only gets worse if you don't try to put it all behind you. I'm not suggesting you should just go out and find some other guy, no, but you have to come to an understanding with yourself you need to move on for your own sake. No one wants to feel heartbroken forever, and for me, having felt that way for 5 years, only now have I finally been able to bring myself to start putting it behind me. There'll still be moments when you may think of him, but if you're very willing to put the past behind you, it'll be a lot easier to just push those memories back and focus on the good things in life. Things get better with time, and a little effort, so don't let yourself sink any deeper in that pain.

[bart]

Sunshin, I know how you feel. My girl broke up with me a year ago last week. She was the love of my life, the only one I've ever cared for. When I looked into her eyes I saw our children. I used to stay awake all night just watching her sleeping. It's now a year later. We had sporadic contact but I'm trying my best to not talk to her. People say the best way to get over someone is to find someone new. That's what I'm trying to do, but it's really not helping. Every night I go to sleep thinking of her; I fall asleep in sadness and wake in emptiness. Somethings are just so traumatic that your whole life is distorted by it. It's really not good. I found that accomplishing something (like finishing a project, solve a puzzle) helps ease the pain, so I've decided to go back to school. You may wish to try something similar, take a class or something, anything to make your life feel worthwhile.