TheRock Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 How do you re-light the spark in a relationship? My GF and I are getting a 2nd chance at our relationship. She said "I Love U" 4 months into the relationship and I got excited and rushed things, pushing the marriage and moving-in together issues. I couldn't help it. She's been distant since then (for about the last year and a half now). Of all the women I've dated she's the best thing that's ever happened to me. We connect and have a great time when we're together. We talked last night and are giving it a 2nd chance. I told her I'm not ready to get married yet. Problem is I don't know when she'll be ready, neither does she. I'm afraid to ever bring the issue up again. I'm 37, she's 32. I think she got freaked and panicked over me pushing the relationship. Her mother put it in her head that I'm older and want to get married before I'm too old and she thinks I have an agenda. While I don't want to wait till I'm 40ish, I want to give "US" more time. So, I agreed to back off. How do we relight the spark and get the passion back in the relationship? I don't want to play games, just want to get back both of us being spontaneous and having fun again....NO Pressure...ANYONE???
norajane Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 We connect and have a great time when we're together. That's really all you need right now. Keep having a great time together, keep things focused on the present without thought to how things might develop in the future. Little things make a huge difference, starting with flirting. Flirt with her all the time. When you're at dinner, look into her eyes as you talk with her and reach out and squeeze her hand. In the car, stroke her leg. When you get together, make sure the first thing you do each time is give her a movie kiss that knocks her socks off. When you leave, give her a big hug and hold it for a few beats longer. Hold her hand when you're out and about, not obsessively, but at nice moments. Kiss her at the stop light while you're waiting to cross the street. Don't fall into a rut with the things you do together. Try new things, make plans for something out of the ordinary on occasion. Dinners and movies and clubs get old - take her to a wine tasting, or find a coffee shop where they have live music some nights, or suggest taking scuba diving classes together (and then go to Cozumel for some diving this winter!). Christmas is coming, and in my city, one of the museums does this Christmas trees around the world exhibit each year, with kids performing international Christmas carols - find something unusual like that to go to with her. Point being, focus on today and enjoying her and being with her today. The future will take care of itself.
amaysngrace Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 How do you re-light the spark in a relationship? tickle her button
samspade Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 Never EVER bring up commitment stages to a woman in a relationship. Let her bring it up first. This goes for being exclusive as well as marriage. You're a guy, you should be the one she's always trying to pin down. If she ever has you completely pinned, she'll get bored and find a new project. And yes, flirt, tease, be easy going. Remember what attracted her in the first place. Find other things besides her to occupy your time, so she knows she's not the only thing in your life. A woman should never be a man's top priority, but one of many.
justaman99 Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 Just be yourself and date. Think about the time you have now and not the future. Let things grow organically.
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