Bells Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 Something I've noticed lately. Women who takes a guy with her out on the town...as some "bodyguard" to protect her? Chances are this guy friendzoned, and still think he can get "lucky" with her by protecting her from other men? Are these "Bodyguards" hopeful that this relationship will go anywhere?
Tony T Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 Are these "Bodyguards" hopeful that this relationship will go anywhere? Sometimes, depends on the person. Most of the time these "Bodyguards" are world class professionals and they already know the senseless drill will lead to heartbreak.
D-Jam Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 Something I've noticed lately. Women who takes a guy with her out on the town...as some "bodyguard" to protect her? Chances are this guy friendzoned, and still think he can get "lucky" with her by protecting her from other men? Are these "Bodyguards" hopeful that this relationship will go anywhere? I call this the "pseudo-boyfriend". He is a guy who has a personality and heart that she wants, but chances are she sees his looks as "ok" and he's also not "exciting enough" for her. She drags him all around town in what is practically dating, but she always makes it clear to everyone they are "just friends". This doormat follows her around most of the time with a hope inside that she'll come around, which you know will only happen if some douchebag knocks her up and/or she's got no other options. Eventually she'll meet Mr Hot-and-Exciting and thus her "bodyguard" will never see her or hear from her again...unless she's calling to complain why she can't have a hot exciting guy that wants to commit and treat a woman well. That or she'll try to split the relationship amongst the two men. Mr Hot-and-Exciting gets the title of "boyfriend" and enjoys all forms of physical intimacy with her, despite that he refuses to treat her well...and Doormat suddenly is out actually playing the role of intellectual partner, shoulder to cry on, and even at times date for things like weddings and family events because Mr Hot-and-Exciting refuses to do things for his lady, other than bang her. That or she knows the guy she can't bring the guy she calls "boyfriend" around her family without getting lectures on how wrong he is for her. It's pathetic just how many women I've seen in my life who try to do this. Not knocking all women, but I laugh my head off at how many "little girls" try so damn hard to find some kind of balance where they can hopefully break the myth of the "sweet thug" or "kind rockstar". It's no wonder why so many of the Doormats eventually grow a spine and either become jerks to women, or they join the Marriage Strike and wonder if every woman that shows them interest is only into them as a "last resort" kind of thing. For all you women who pick good men from the get-go...I love you all. You're the real deal and you live in the real world. God bless you.
You'reasian Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 I'm reading into the last post and it asks the question: when does a guy from being hot to friend? My best guess is that its when the guy starts showing signs of compassion, sympathy, kindness? Then again, this probably happens more often with younger females?
carhill Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 OP, "on the town" with strangers, how would you "notice this"?
D-Jam Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 I'm reading into the last post and it asks the question: when does a guy from being hot to friend? My best guess is that its when the guy starts showing signs of compassion, sympathy, kindness? Then again, this probably happens more often with younger females? Mostly. I'm not trying to say that hot and exciting guys are always going to treat women badly, and I'm also not telling women their only hope for a husband is the "boring doormat". My point is mostly to illustrate to both genders two messages. Men should not let themselves become someone's puppy dog and literally act like a boyfriend outside of intimacy and emotional connection. Women should be realistic in the men they choose as well as examine themselves if they feel they have to split a RL between two men. It's why the last like in my reply was important. The real women who pick the good men. They don't settle for a doormat, nor do they settle for someone who treats them badly for the sake of having eye candy.
carhill Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 OP, did that erstwhile Halloween date get back to you? If you had gone out with her, would you have been her bodyguard?
samspade Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 So don't be her bodyguard. If you're her friend, and you aren't acting like a lapdog, then you can use her company to YOUR advantage as well. It doesn't hurt for you to be seen out with a pretty girl, and you can flirt with other girls in front of her just as she flirts with other guys. This will either a) work to both your advantages, if it's understood you're not attracted to each other and are both helping each other get laid, or b) make her jealous, because she'll see you're getting attention from other females and neglecting her. So if you want to go out with a female friend in that way, just avoid the pitfalls, such as holding on to her purse/camera/drink whenever she asks you, buying her drinks, latching on when she's flirting with other guys, or any other submissive behavior. If you actually want to seduce this woman, you must create triangles and make yourself the object of other females' desires/attention. Either way, it pays for you not to be in her charge, but to be independent, outgoing, funny, and flirty.
Taramere Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 Something I've noticed lately. Women who takes a guy with her out on the town...as some "bodyguard" to protect her? Or....two friends going out for a drink together? Chances are this guy friendzoned, and still think he can get "lucky" with her by protecting her from other men? Guy might feel like going out for a drink with one of his friends. Guy might not feel like a failure for being capable of having platonic as well as romantic relationships with women. Chances of guy not feeling like a failure in said circumstances increasing proportionate to the amount of romantic success he generally enjoys in life. Are these "Bodyguards" hopeful that this relationship will go anywhere? But there's no point in us all speculating about this. Next time you see a man and a woman walking down the street together at night, stop them and make inquiries as to whether their relationship is: a) platonic b) romantic c) neither a nor b confirmed yet If they answer either a or c, then you can then put the "are you hopeful that this relationship will go anywhere?" question to the man. Or you can do what drunks sometimes like to do in taxi queues; tap random men on the shoulder, nod towards the woman they're standing next to and ask "shagging her tonight?" Or you could just make a circle with your left thumb and index finger, push your right index finger in and out of the circle repeatedly and arrange your features into an inquiring expression. It's vital for people to exercise their right to find out about these things. Don't let anyone take these important freedoms away from you.
Author Bells Posted November 7, 2008 Author Posted November 7, 2008 So don't be her bodyguard. If you're her friend, and you aren't acting like a lapdog, then you can use her company to YOUR advantage as well. It doesn't hurt for you to be seen out with a pretty girl, and you can flirt with other girls in front of her just as she flirts with other guys. This will either a) work to both your advantages, if it's understood you're not attracted to each other and are both helping each other get laid, or b) make her jealous, because she'll see you're getting attention from other females and neglecting her. So if you want to go out with a female friend in that way, just avoid the pitfalls, such as holding on to her purse/camera/drink whenever she asks you, buying her drinks, latching on when she's flirting with other guys, or any other submissive behavior. If you actually want to seduce this woman, you must create triangles and make yourself the object of other females' desires/attention. Either way, it pays for you not to be in her charge, but to be independent, outgoing, funny, and flirty. I'm referring to other people....this is not my experience...just clarifying.
Author Bells Posted November 7, 2008 Author Posted November 7, 2008 OP, did that erstwhile Halloween date get back to you? If you had gone out with her, would you have been her bodyguard? Yeah, there was some miscommunication in meeting dates/times...we're suppose to get together this Sat night now.
samspade Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 I'm referring to other people....this is not my experience...just clarifying. Ah, gotcha. Well, in any case, you're right. Women use men as all sorts of things, if men let them.
You'reasian Posted November 8, 2008 Posted November 8, 2008 So don't be her bodyguard. If you're her friend, and you aren't acting like a lapdog, then you can use her company to YOUR advantage as well. It doesn't hurt for you to be seen out with a pretty girl, and you can flirt with other girls in front of her just as she flirts with other guys. This will either a) work to both your advantages, if it's understood you're not attracted to each other and are both helping each other get laid, or b) make her jealous, because she'll see you're getting attention from other females and neglecting her. So if you want to go out with a female friend in that way, just avoid the pitfalls, such as holding on to her purse/camera/drink whenever she asks you, buying her drinks, latching on when she's flirting with other guys, or any other submissive behavior. If you actually want to seduce this woman, you must create triangles and make yourself the object of other females' desires/attention. Either way, it pays for you not to be in her charge, but to be independent, outgoing, funny, and flirty. You make an interesting point. Women seek subconscious approval from other women about attraction. They trust each other. This could explain why when a guy walks into say victoria secrets with his woman while she is shopping, other women notice him and he seems more attractive - whereas one on one genuine, a direct genuine approach from a male might turn up a women's defenses. Many women need to be approached indirectly. They don't respond well to a man's upfrontness.
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