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Posted

I don't know what to do next. I have been in a 5 year relationship with my boyfriend. Most of the time it was long distance and we have been together since high school and we are now both in college. He goes to a really good college and always has so much work to do, but i get the feeling that he stresses out more than he needs to, and when he has free time, he doesn't make the effort to try to get together with me. I have heavy college work too, but i always will find time for him, if he ever needed me. I'm beginning to get the feeling that this relationship is now one-sided. We live about only 15 minutes away from each other via subway and about 30 minutes walking..it's not that hard to get from one place to another. i usually only see him on weekends now because i feel like i am too much of a distraction to his work during weekdays, so i just see my friends on weekdays. i can't tell if he is just lazy, but he never wants to make the effort to get to my house just the spend the night or hang out. i;ve even sat him down and suggested he bring his work and books over here, i don't mind, i just like his company. he never has any ideas for things we can do together, i always come up with the plans, and on the weekends when i do see him it's usually him, his best friend, and me. and he generally has some complaint about a suggestion i make, even though he claims he isn't "creative" enough to come up with something for us to do together. now i usually only see him about 2-3 times a week, and not for the whole day, just half of it. i usually end up going to his place, too. what should i do? sometimes i cry over this, and i am not a naggy or needy girlfriend either, but lately it's been bothering me. i even talked to him about it in a calm, objective way, but he never seems to change even though he acknowledges it. even this week he said "i'll make up for not seeing you this week by doing something on the weekend with you." (first time he has even tried to attempt to think of something) later, i playfully asked him about it and he said "oh, i didn't even have time to think of anything this week for us to do." and that was that. when we are together, we are very affectionate so it's not a matter of does he still want to be with me, but i'm getting tired of the lack of effort on his side..it's starting to become dull because he never does anything special out of the ordinary for me. i love him and we share a deep connection, but i just don't know where to go from here? maybe i have too high of expectations... :/

Posted

What you may want to do, is when your with him, ask him of some problems he may be having. If you can, try and remember what bothers him the most. My guess is that its College but it can always be something else that hes been hiding. If you really want to stress the point to him, tell him what you've been doing about this. How you've cried over what is right between you and him so that he may understand that your hurt from all of this.

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