Trialbyfire Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 I sure hope nobody told you that you were winding up a story just to seek attention. How awful that would be. amaysn, sometimes stories don't ring true or accurate. Since I've never been in an abusive relationship before, I won't comment on this one beyond saying that no matter which way you look at it, therapy is in order.
Geishawhelk Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 I sure hope nobody told you that you were winding up a story just to seek attention. How awful that would be. Well, computers didn't exist then, so I didn't get to tell the whole world. but when advised to get out - I didn't need telling twice. He only ever got away with "laying a hand on me" once. Sarcasm doesn't become you. You don't need to be rude and condescending. I haven't been rude to you, and I haven't been rude to anyone else either.
Author cc123 Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 thanks everyone. im not seeking attention. i am just confused and venting because it is hard to leave someone you love and care about.
Trialbyfire Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 From what I've seen of a number of abuser/abusee relationships, many abusees finally get enough internal strength to leave the relationship, which is a good thing. What they fail to address, is the underlying issues of why they got trapped into the abusive relationship in the first place. Sometimes, the abusee moves on and finds another abusive relationship, whether it's themselves becoming the abuser or once again becoming the abusee. I strongly urge you to consider some serious therapy.
soconfused01 Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 You need to get out and it's going to be difficult for you, I'm sure, after putting up with all his abuse. I strongly urge you to talk to a school counselor or resonsible adult AND call the national domestic abuse hotline. http://www.ndvh.org/ or 1-800-799-SAFE
Charles1978 Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 You are dating an abusive LOSER!! The porn? Like someone said... give up on trying to get him to stop. Not gonna happen. But you need to move on ASAP. Why girls stay in relationships like this... I'll never understand. I'm guessing you are scared to leave... afraid he might hurt you. Well, this is a good reason to move closer to your family to another school and meet someone who will treat you right... after you get over the damage from this relationship. Stop worrying about the porn, and start worrying about yourself, and leave this guy.
InLimbo2 Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 Situations like this always escalate, the abuser doesn't just suddenly become a decent human being. You are going to leave - that's a definite - guaranteed. Only question is - will it be on your own two legs, or in a body bag? Harsh - yes - but reality - and you have to know that you are spinning in circles, looking for rational logical explanations for the behavior of someone that is mentally ill - it won't work - it will just make you crazy. Get help, and get out. thanks everyone. im not seeking attention. i am just confused and venting because it is hard to leave someone you love and care about.
AngelsRose Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Girl, you are just going to make yourself sick! Yes, it is very difficult to leave a relationship like that due to conditioning on their part. I have been in an abusive relationship and the only way it ended is him in cuffs after he shot at my son and I. I gathered around friends and family and kept my mind busy, no phone calls; it had to be done. I called my parents from 3 states away and told them I couldn't be alone because I didn't trust my low self-esteem, low self-worth mind and that I might go back to the same ole same ole. They came running and helped me get through this and get on with my life (after therepy of course). Run don't walk, you are worth IT!!!
bonita Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Girl, you are just going to make yourself sick! Yes, it is very difficult to leave a relationship like that due to conditioning on their part. I have been in an abusive relationship and the only way it ended is him in cuffs after he shot at my son and I. I gathered around friends and family and kept my mind busy, no phone calls; it had to be done. I called my parents from 3 states away and told them I couldn't be alone because I didn't trust my low self-esteem, low self-worth mind and that I might go back to the same ole same ole. They came running and helped me get through this and get on with my life (after therepy of course). Run don't walk, you are worth IT!!! Iam so with you AngelsRose, as I was once in a bad relationship. I saw everything he was doing wrong but at the same time blind. For me it took a day of hard work, and after coming home he wasn't there and he was supposed to be taking care of our daughter, all of his frieds were at the house "drunk". What if one of them had decided to rape me or what about my daughter. He had been taking much of my money out of the bank and leaving me with almost nothing to pay for the bills. I was really fed up, but it has taken me many years to recover. The best decision in my life was ending the relationship and building up my self esteem by going back to school.
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