kizik Posted November 8, 2008 Posted November 8, 2008 Some people on this site might know that my ex cut her hair when we were still together, and it was a big problem in our relationship. She thought I was superficial for caring, while I thought she was selfish for NOT caring about what I thought about her looks. And I had always told her not to cut it and that I thought her hair was very sexy. Girls cut off their hair as a big F.U. sometimes. Mine certainly did. And yes, guys prefer longer hair. The fact that you chopped it off post-break-up is a physical manifestation of your dislike for men at this juncture. I can see it as a reclamation of your own sexuality, too. Hair bears a lot of psychological significance. When a woman chops it off, it often means she's f*cking pissed. Remember Britney Spears' shaved head? Yah.
Nemo Posted November 8, 2008 Posted November 8, 2008 Oh well, my mistake, going NC, It's not supposed to be a switch that you turn on and off when it suits you!!?? Then again, I don't have a cool haircut, so maybe my opinion doesn't matter.
Adamagnet Posted November 8, 2008 Posted November 8, 2008 Um.. I would say... I realize boys like girls with longer hair, its seen as sexy. But, I would rather come off as confident rather than hiding behind my hair. Not sure if that has to do with wanting boys to come my way or not. You could be onto something though... Yeah, I highly doubt that it is very common to consciously think that you want to repel the opposite sex, but it's quite possible that the behavior is a subconscious "keep off the grass" sign. OR! It could be that a lot of my girlfriends associate hair with memory. For me it's music. I just microwave the EX's mixed CDs. Thats why its so hard to cut it - you're snipping off a part of yourself, the hair that you could hide between, the hair thats been with you for literally years! SO maybe cutting hair after a breakup is a combination of: A) Wanting to reshape oneself, you're no longer the person that was dumped, or the person who was in a bad relationship. B) You're shedding the old memories to make room for new ones to grow. I think A is more likely, but be thankful that I'm not an optimist. How long did you ponder this action or was the cutting of the hair impulsive? I think mostly, almost all girls change their look up a bit after an emotionally devastating break up. Be it a hair color change, getting bangs, getting layers, shortening their hair... whatever... its to look new. A new hairstyle makes you feel fresh. Yes very true, but why do you see more women going short, rather than using the alternative methods of "changing themselves"? Another interesting thing to notice is that this behavior is also prevalent in post menopausal women. What's the connection here? Well, I know that this group has significantly lower levels of oxytocin and estrogen. I also know that oxytocin levels increase during a relationship, so I assume there will be a lower level post break-up, just like women in menopause...
MrMe Posted November 8, 2008 Posted November 8, 2008 Hey, I like women with all kinds of hair styles! So maybe your hair cut may just so happen to attract the short-haired-woman loving man of your dreams or something....or at least an elevator compliment.
kizik Posted November 8, 2008 Posted November 8, 2008 Just putting it out there: bunch of chicks on this thread saying "looks cute," but most guys (90%) do not like short hair. FWIW. Think about this: are you attracted to guys with long hair? No, you aren't, and if you say you are, you're lying.
MrMe Posted November 8, 2008 Posted November 8, 2008 Just putting it out there: bunch of chicks on this thread saying "looks cute," but most guys (90%) do not like short hair. FWIW. Think about this: are you attracted to guys with long hair? No, you aren't, and if you say you are, you're lying. Well i'm attracted to women with short hair.
kizik Posted November 8, 2008 Posted November 8, 2008 That's fine - but know that you are in the minority.
MrMe Posted November 8, 2008 Posted November 8, 2008 Loving the hair!!!!!!!!!! You look so cute My hair was really long (half way down my back) and my ex loved it - I had it cut to an inverted bob just past my ears and I love it! Go you!! So, I definitely just had to google "inverted bob", because I had no clue what in the world that could possibly be.
MrMe Posted November 8, 2008 Posted November 8, 2008 That's fine - but know that you are in the minority. Yeah, you're probably right. I think as shorter hair styles are becoming more prevalent, guys are becoming a little more open though. But you're definitely right, a lot of guys put a lot of weight into the length of a woman's hair.
kizik Posted November 8, 2008 Posted November 8, 2008 Yeah, and I don't think it's a bad thing to have cultural/sexual preferences. It's important to be able to tell what sex someone is, and hair is a major factor in doing so.
Author lofi_tokyo Posted November 8, 2008 Author Posted November 8, 2008 OH BOY! Well I know a lot of guys like long hair. This is something I've wanted to do forever, and I can always grow it back at any time, so its not too bad. I guess, if it repels boys, thats probably a good thing right now because I'm really not ready for a relationship right now! That being said, despite KNOWING going into this that cutting my hair is gonna be a big turn off for a lot of guys, its really ****ty to hear so many people calling me unattractive! Guess I shouldn't have started this thread. Time to change my avatar for now I guess! Puke. I'm having a terrible morning and... now I feel gross. Thank you, thank you!
openbook08 Posted November 8, 2008 Posted November 8, 2008 aww wish you hadnt changed your avatar I never got to see! what MATTERS is that you love it, it makes you feel great, sexy and confident! thats whats important at the end of the day! anyway would you really wanna be with a guy who wouldnt even give you the chance to show just how great sexy and confident you are cos of YOUR HAIR?? give me a break!!! hope youre enjoying Toronto ( I read your other post ) youll be long enough settled enjoy these random adventures! ps "Its Called A Break Up Cos Its Broken" - great airport read
Crazy.S Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 Just putting it out there: bunch of chicks on this thread saying "looks cute," but most guys (90%) do not like short hair. FWIW. Think about this: are you attracted to guys with long hair? No, you aren't, and if you say you are, you're lying. Why would that matter? As long as there is some people who find her attractive and I'm sure they will, so she will be fine. After all all she needs is one guy. Btw, I didn't get to see you haircut either...
Adamagnet Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 That being said, despite KNOWING going into this that cutting my hair is gonna be a big turn off for a lot of guys, its really ****ty to hear so many people calling me unattractive! Guess I shouldn't have started this thread. You shouldn't consider that it is a "big turn-off" for most guys because it isn't. Facial features and your figure will easily trump hair length when considering attractiveness. Short hair just means you are less likely to get noticed and/or approached in a random setting. It sounds like that's what you want at this time in your life anyway.
EmperorR Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 OH BOY! Well I know a lot of guys like long hair. This is something I've wanted to do forever, and I can always grow it back at any time, so its not too bad. I guess, if it repels boys, thats probably a good thing right now because I'm really not ready for a relationship right now! That being said, despite KNOWING going into this that cutting my hair is gonna be a big turn off for a lot of guys, its really ****ty to hear so many people calling me unattractive! Guess I shouldn't have started this thread. Time to change my avatar for now I guess! Puke. I'm having a terrible morning and... now I feel gross. Thank you, thank you! Beauty is in teh eye of the beholder
Author lofi_tokyo Posted November 11, 2008 Author Posted November 11, 2008 Thanks for all the good words everyone!! I'm actually REALLY liking my hair right now. I think I just had a... rough morning of insecurity that once, but on Facebook the compliments keep coming in, and I've gotten some really nice texts from some guy friends too! Also, here in Toronto, EVERYONE seems to have really cool hair, not the usual long straight stuff. ;p So... at least in this city, I feel super cute! Things are looking up again!
kizik Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 ...on Facebook the compliments keep coming in, and I've gotten some really nice texts from some guy friends too! Also, here in Toronto, EVERYONE seems to have really cool hair, not the usual long straight stuff. ;p So... at least in this city, I feel super cute! Things are looking up again! A question to ponder (and not an attack - just want to make that clear): would you still like it without the Facebook compliments, and the text messages from men? Would you still like the way you looked, even if no one else did? Would you still feel cute in a city where everyone didn't have "really cool hair"? My point here is that it is a grave mistake to look to others' opinions of your appearance for external validation. One must love oneself, regardless of what the world thinks. If you continue to base your opinion of yourself on the things OTHER PEOPLE say and do - your life will be in a constant flux of highs and lows. I think you need to look inward for happiness. Just a thought.
Author lofi_tokyo Posted November 11, 2008 Author Posted November 11, 2008 I'm already very okay with who I am spiritually and emotionally! And I really really just love life! My hair though? Appearances always seem so superficial, right? So all the better if people love it!
openbook08 Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 love love LOVE the hair!! you look gorgeous and carry it off so well. who cares where the compliments are comin from them? its doin ya good right now so enjoy it!! Ive never received as many compliments since my break up (ironic!!) & its mostly strangers who know nothin of my situ so im happy to be givin out some good vibes and gettin them back!! cool.
tealeafbud Posted November 11, 2008 Posted November 11, 2008 tokyovogue, I love your haircut. You look absolutely smoking hot. and thanks for the culture info about short haircuts and break ups. That's very interesting.
Crazy.S Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 you look beautiful! so kizik's point is to ignore other people's opinions?.. when earlier you said she might regret her short hair because "90% of guys likes long hair"?
gwynieatpain Posted November 13, 2008 Posted November 13, 2008 I just don't fxxking care what guys think. If you think you are beautiful, you are beautiful. If someone likes you, fall for you, take you seriously ... does it really matter them if you got longer or shorter hair? I had gone through a horrible break up. Cutting my hair short makes me feel great. I just don't care if it turns guys off or anything. I feel good about myself, love myself even more because it's a fresh new me. Toyko, seriously, you look hot.
Author lofi_tokyo Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 Hehe thanks Gwyn It definitely is about just being a fresh, new, heart-break free person! It feel good!
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