scoutg Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 I've been re-dating the guy I wanted to marry - we've dated twice now, one year each time. long story short, I know he loves me, but have had a hard time trying to get him to act like a boyfriend. When I finally held his feet to fire about what I wanted in our relationship he said he loved me and wanted to marry me and have a life together - but confessed that he didn't feel romantic love for me. WTF? Obviously, I ended it. I've told him I don't want to talk - that I'm devastated and that I need some time. He's called me twice practically begging me to call him, he ran into my friends and cried and moaned to them about how sorry he is.....I'm not trying to punish him or anything - should I call and let him say whatever he has to say? Whatever he says won't change anything for me - I won't settle. What's the RIGHT thing to do - if there is one? Any input?
allanDR Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 That's really screwed up to tell someone you want to marry them but don't feel romantically attracted to them. He deserves whatever he got. However, I think you should at least talk to him if he's begging for it. He sounds like he is more lost than being an a.s.shole and I don't think you should just shut him out. Not yet at least. Whenver you get the "I love you....but...." speech, you know that it's doomed.
BikerBeagle Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 If you've been honest with him from the get go about your break-up, he might just be unable to deal with his pain. I'm not sure, in this case, he'll ever get enough closure to supplicate him. If you used the words, at any time, "It's not you, it's me" or "I just need space", then you should come clean with why he's being kicked to the curb.
Author scoutg Posted November 7, 2008 Author Posted November 7, 2008 He's definitely not being an a-hole - It's funny, it's the exact OPPOSITE of "I love you, but..." it's "I don't love you, but...." biker - I was VERY clear about the breakup. I told him in no uncertain terms that if he does not love me romantically after all the years we've been friends and dated, then I'm not interested in pursuing it any further. I did not leave him wondering. I think that he does just want closure - but still, I just can't talk to him.
carhill Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 Yuk....all this guy deserves is a silence sandwich and you deserve someone who will love you without reservation..... OP, and I mean this in all sincerity...do not waste one further minute trying to figure out this guy's psychology or the resultant dynamic. It's not your job.
lofi_tokyo Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 Yeah, I agree with Carhill! You've redated him, you've tried your best to finally get him to come around, and hes being crummy. No more chances for him! Its time to go find a man who can love you, because there is definitely one out there!
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