When you realize what they wanted from you all along

[sigh]

xMM stuck to NC for 3 days before sending an email.

It was the how are you, what have you been up to stuff, then all sexual.

I did not respond and blocked him, but am still so hurt right now because it is just proof of what he thought of me the whole time. Even our friendship prior was obviously a farce.

This is the guy that wanted to "remain friends" and made an attempt at it for a little while.

I guess the saying is true that women fake orgasms and men fake whole relationships.

This sucks

[wildsoul]

Ick. My guy did that to me after I broke up with him before.

 

FWIW, the feedback I got from friends was more objective than my own response. They said, "But weren't sexy emails a big part of what you two shared together?" Their point was that while I was all pissed off and going through the process of leaving him, he was still thinking I might be open to a continuation. Much to my surprise, they didn't fault him for trying. Men seem to place a higher premium on the sexual aspects, and they think that we do too.

 

None the less, what it did make me do was get firm about NC.

 

Let your revulsion motivate you, yet try not to take it too personally.

[sigh]

Ick. My guy did that to me after I broke up with him before.

 

FWIW, the feedback I got from friends was more objective than my own response. They said, "But weren't sexy emails a big part of what you two shared together?" Their point was that while I was all pissed off and going through the process of leaving him, he was still thinking I might be open to a continuation. Much to my surprise, they didn't fault him for trying. Men seem to place a higher premium on the sexual aspects, and they think that we do too.

 

None the less, what it did make me do was get firm about NC.

 

Let your revulsion motivate you, yet try not to take it too personally.

 

Yes, it was a big part of what we shared, sexy emails, texts, IMs, calls but that was when we were also emotionally connected to each other so it was different. If he had sent me an email just asking how I was doing, I would not be so upset.

So this is a common thing? If so, why do they so it? To make you feel like a cheap sl*t?

[IfWishesWereHorses]

My thought is a little different that WS's. I think he's hurt by the no contact. I think he competely intended for you to feel the way you feel right now. That is his way of taking some of his power back.

[whichwayisup]

Even our friendship prior was obviously a farce.

 

No, it was innocent and platonic back then..You two crossed the lines and everything changed, as you know now, you can never go back and try to recapture the innocence of that friendship, that part was gone when the A took place.

 

Right now, HE is pulling out all the stops to try to woo you back. Don't fall for it..

[norajane]

Yes, it was a big part of what we shared, sexy emails, texts, IMs, calls but that was when we were also emotionally connected to each other so it was different. If he had sent me an email just asking how I was doing, I would not be so upset.

So this is a common thing? If so, why do they so it? To make you feel like a cheap sl*t?

 

You know how after a break-up, one might make a cd with all "their" songs and give it to the other, hoping that it might trigger some good memories and make them sad about the break-up and pull on some heartstrings and maybe get back together?

 

That's what this dude is doing. He thought he might remind you of the sexy emails part of your relationship, and that would maybe make you sad not to have that, and maybe would make you reconsider and get back together so the sex can continue.

 

He's trying to pull on your heartstrings by reminding you of the sex, not realizing that the only reason those sexy emails mattered to you was because you cared about the relationship, because you felt emotionally connected, not just hot for his dick.