Lightglowabove Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 I've come to Loveshack for some honest help in a decision. I've read many posts and replies and I know there are many caring people here. Long story short...I started having an affair a year ago with a long distance guy. Of course things are great in the beginning but then it started waning (which is fine). I haven't seen him in 3 months so there's nothing physical going on but he always says we're "friends". We don't text as much or call and for my birthday, he says he wants to take me out to a nice dinner. I told him to give me some dates so I can reserve the restaurant and we'll go out to a dinner, nothing more. That was a month ago...so I'm waiting. Then he was having his review at work and wanted to tell me about it. I texted him "call me later?" to which he replied "yes". The call never came so again I'm waiting. What the heck? Why does he keep me waiting all the time? I told him a few weeks ago I don't like it and it's rude, yet he's doing it again. My question is this......I want to finally end this because he's not being a friend in my eyes. Should I personally call him or is an email ok to do?
quankanne Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 as little contact as there has been, Reggie's advice makes the most sense, because clearly, keeping up communication with you never seems to have been a priority. I think the harder challenge is to change your expectations of him, for once you've done that, you can move on from this sadly lacking relationship.
me4u2 Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 Why does he keep me waiting all the time? I told him a few weeks ago I don't like it and it's rude, yet he's doing it again. My question is this......I want to finally end this because he's not being a friend in my eyes. Should I personally call him or is an email ok to do? Your question should be why do you wait? I think actions speak louder than words. I wouldn't call him or email him. What for? So he can tell you he's going to do something again and not follow through. I say move on just like your gut is telling you only with no explanation.
wildsoul Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 Why does he keep me waiting all the time? I told him a few weeks ago I don't like it and it's rude, yet he's doing it again. My question is this......I want to finally end this because he's not being a friend in my eyes. Should I personally call him or is an email ok to do? Sounds like he is giving you "the fade," as a way to undo the relationship. It's a way that someone can let you know they are no longer interested, without directly rejecting you. You already gave him the feedback that you don't like it, and he is still doing it--that's your cue. Although it might sting a little bit, people that choose this are actually trying to spare your feelings a bit by not drawing attention the the fact that "it's over." * To me, the correct ettiquette is to now also fade out. No break up call or email. Just politely fade away into no contact. You'd be wise to ignore future contact from him, too. Move on to a more mutual connection. *Addendum: or they are trying to end the relationship for now, while keeping you a little on the hook in case they want you again in the future. Either way, they aren't into you.
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