Konfuzion Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 Gosh I hate this pain, I asked the ex for a second chance almost two weeks ago and still no answer. Were supposed to go camping this weekend but I don't know that I am feeling up to it.... I am sure this is a very touchy subject here but I really want to air this and maybe it will help with the coping. A while back I was very depressed for 8 years and I use to feel suicidal all the time, I was actually hospitalized on 3 occasions for it... I am starting to feel that way again which scares the crap out of me, I know logically that no one is worth it and that it will all get better with time but I am not feeling that right now... I just want to break down and cry. Damn I could use a genuine hug right about now. I am half tempted not to press the submit button right about now...... Today started out so good.
SgtPepper Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 I totally relate to the type of pain that you are feeling and just wishing it would go away. Here are some things that have helped me: *reach out to other people who can offer support, whether you call, text, email, drop by in person, whatever. Find that human connection. *read the boards here and take some strength from the fact that you are not alone and that it WILL get better. *cry if you want to. Trying to hold it in will make you feel worse and make the pain last longer. *give yourself permission to do something just for you: go shopping, eat some ice cream, take a nap, watch mindless movies, go for a jog, go out for a coffee and people watch, whatever. Just allow yourself to focus on you and not your ex. Take back some of that power your ex has over you. Hope that helps!
SarahT111 Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 I can defiantly relate to how you are feeling right now I went through the same thing when my ex dumped me a good year ago. I was dumped cold and left for someone else. I cant even begin to describe what I went through and im sure I dont need to because you are feeling the same way. I was at rock bottom for a good 5 months. I wanted to die. I got far to low and was unable to pull myself back out. One day I did hit ultimate rock bottom which is sad but it took me that much to realise that I needed to get help. I booked myself in with a counciller the next day and it helped so much, I also opened up and talked to friends who all made me feel so much better. But the one real thing that will work (and you dont want to hear it im sure) is time. And I can promise you things will get better if you give it time. And you can use this time to work on you and make you a better person. That is exactally what I did following the advice from this website and it changed my life one year on. I am happy now, I accomplished so many things once I got back on my feet and became a totally different person. You have to go through pain sometimes in your life but you can use it to come out on top at the other end. One year ago I was wishing I was dead, thinking I would NEVER EVER escape the constant pain, I was crying every second of everyday and my heart really physically ached. I lost 20kilos from heartache and would bring back up anything I tried to eat. I hit ultimate rock bottom. A year on I am happy again, I can say I am over my ex. I worked so hard an accomplished a degree and a national title in my sport. I changed my self completely and am now in a relationship with a wonderful man. If I can turn things around you CAN TO! Im not quite sure anyone could get lower than I got and I turned it around so you can to! I promise you, just give it time and happiness will come to you again!
EmperorR Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 I can defiantly relate to how you are feeling right now I went through the same thing when my ex dumped me a good year ago. I was dumped cold and left for someone else. I cant even begin to describe what I went through and im sure I dont need to because you are feeling the same way. I was at rock bottom for a good 5 months. I wanted to die. I got far to low and was unable to pull myself back out. One day I did hit ultimate rock bottom which is sad but it took me that much to realise that I needed to get help. I booked myself in with a counciller the next day and it helped so much, I also opened up and talked to friends who all made me feel so much better. But the one real thing that will work (and you dont want to hear it im sure) is time. And I can promise you things will get better if you give it time. And you can use this time to work on you and make you a better person. That is exactally what I did following the advice from this website and it changed my life one year on. I am happy now, I accomplished so many things once I got back on my feet and became a totally different person. You have to go through pain sometimes in your life but you can use it to come out on top at the other end. One year ago I was wishing I was dead, thinking I would NEVER EVER escape the constant pain, I was crying every second of everyday and my heart really physically ached. I lost 20kilos from heartache and would bring back up anything I tried to eat. I hit ultimate rock bottom. A year on I am happy again, I can say I am over my ex. I worked so hard an accomplished a degree and a national title in my sport. I changed my self completely and am now in a relationship with a wonderful man. If I can turn things around you CAN TO! Im not quite sure anyone could get lower than I got and I turned it around so you can to! I promise you, just give it time and happiness will come to you again! inspirational, this is why I love this site, whenever I feel down I always find a post that lifts me back up.
alwayssme Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 It won't just go away. Losing someone you love is one of the hardest things to go through in life and it's understandable to feel pain. It sucks but my way of coping is to "accept" it. Lately the universe is not on my side, i just kept getting one dissapointment after the other. Whenever I felt like I was getting back up, something would happen to bring me down again. Till recently I am realizing that as long as I'm healthy, I'll be fine. I hope you feel better. I wish I could help more but I'm not recovered yet myself. I hope one day when everything becomes better, I can use this experience to help somebody in my situation.
Jenny123 Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Think u should just move on- Get over it. Sound like this can't be fixed.
Author Konfuzion Posted November 20, 2008 Author Posted November 20, 2008 Think u should just move on- Get over it. Sound like this can't be fixed. Well actually things have been going quite well between us, its like we have started dating all over again and we have really been enjoying each others company. Still waiting for an answer though
Peter_pan Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 hmm , i waited for an answer and finally when i was out the country she told me about him. i dont think there is another person in the picture in your case, but i know exactly how it feels to be "waiting". the most horrible thing in the world.
Sysyphus28 Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 So you got dumped. You and I both were made to feel like throwaway men. It blows! I was f-ed up for months! Still feel the burn sometimes......once a week usually. ****** As cool as you think they(the x) are, thier is someone better that you won't have to beg for a second chance. ***** Second chances do not work. Too much neediness, insecurity, betrayal feeling, trust issues......They don't work.... It's dumb. seriously. They don't work. The second time you get dumped after begging and feeling that false victory is ruthless...and brutal! Don't wait..........just go NC. That means no replies. That means ignoring her. I havn't been too successful at all. BUT Thanksgiving is going to be my time. Not our shared holiday. My friends can have fun with her.
Author Konfuzion Posted November 20, 2008 Author Posted November 20, 2008 So you got dumped. You and I both were made to feel like throwaway men. It blows! I was f-ed up for months! Still feel the burn sometimes......once a week usually. ****** As cool as you think they(the x) are, thier is someone better that you won't have to beg for a second chance. ***** Second chances do not work. Too much neediness, insecurity, betrayal feeling, trust issues......They don't work.... It's dumb. seriously. They don't work. The second time you get dumped after begging and feeling that false victory is ruthless...and brutal! Don't wait..........just go NC. That means no replies. That means ignoring her. I havn't been too successful at all. BUT Thanksgiving is going to be my time. Not our shared holiday. My friends can have fun with her. None of that is possible, we live together. I KNOW there isnt anyone else. I hurt her and I finally accept that, its amazing she stayed with me as long as she did. I know she still has feelings for me, and I know she still loves me but she is trying to figure out if she can trust me again, and yes I will wait for her and she is 100% worth it.
Author Konfuzion Posted November 20, 2008 Author Posted November 20, 2008 hmm , i waited for an answer and finally when i was out the country she told me about him. i dont think there is another person in the picture in your case, but i know exactly how it feels to be "waiting". the most horrible thing in the world. Its funny I don't mind the waiting too much, since we have basically been dating there has been cuddling and hand holding going on what is really bothering me is that I want her to kiss me so bad; I want to feel that passion and the love, and her sweet soft lips.... And I guess security.
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