markyboy1983 Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 I used to have a bunch of stuff that reminded me of my ex. We broke up about a week ago and have been NC for 3 days. I went to her house on Sunday and gave it to her, cuz I couldn't bring myself to throw it all out. I gave it to her and said u can do what u want with it. We left on amicable terms. I kept a picture that she drew of me. It took her a while to draw and it makes me look damn good. I have it in my drawer because I love that picture so much (it used to be on my wall, but took it down because it reminded me of her too much.) My question is am I gonna look back at this 3 months from now and think I was still trying to holding on to her via the pic, or am I going to think it is a nice picture, u should have kept it. ? I feel it is a shame to throw out art, or is me holding on to this drawing just another form of denial/not wanting to let go?
2sure Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 We save pictures. We save mementos. The reason doesnt matter. You can simply acknowledge that it has sentimental value or that you like it, and just keep it. When you are further away from the break up , you may decide to have it framed because you look great. Or you may decide it is not sentimental enough to keep and toss it. You are hurt right now. Save it. Pull it out and look at it when you want to. Over time , you really will look at it less.
Chinook Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 I think it's probably a bit of both really. I can understand what you mean about keeping the pic if it's a good pic. I had a pic which was drawn by a guy I spent 10 years of my life with. It was the only thing I kept because I couldn't bear to throw it away. This year we'd been split for four years. So, I finally threw it away. I could never look at it and see 'just a pic' I always saw 'the pic that J drew of me'. In the end, I realised I didn't keep it to look at it or have it shown, so I destroyed it. I hadn't thought about it since until reading your post. So, what I'm saying is maybe your dilemma means you're just not ready yet. You'll know when you are.
BikerBeagle Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 I don't think anyone says that you have to trash everything that reminds you of your ex ...at least, I've never read that anywhere. Keep them, sure, because there are still memories attached to those things, but hide them away until you are ready to face them. I still have pictures of my 1st wife, the video of our wedding, etc. I've kept stuff from all of my relationships. It's cool to go back through memory lane once you have healed (and many many years later). But, it all gets relegated to the storage shed ...out of sight, out of mind.
mark982 Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 i agree w bikerbeagle. i still have stuff from my 1st ex. hell it was stashed away probable 10 yrs. after pain goes away it's nice to look at. plus see how you've aged.
EmperorR Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 I threw away everything my ex gave me, I hated the lies tormenting my place
Poiter Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 I gave mine all her stuff back. She made a very nice drawing of a fairy for me and I gave it back. Said with all the lies after the break up, placing trust in others rather than telling me how upset she was (didn't know she was till she broke up) I didn't want it. That was my way of initiating no contact. Gave it back to her and said if you're ever in trouble, you can call me. I figured I'm the one who doesn't want the break up, I won't forget anything anytime soon. So give her as much as I can because she's the one who doesn't appear to care.
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