toddles Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 Okay, soo I suppose I'll be the same as everyone, and keep this as short as possible. So, I've been dating this girl, for almost a month now. , and at first, I didn't even know this girl, so. I asked my friend Matt, to talk to her, since he knew her, and he introduced us, and things were a little nerve racking at first, but then it started off just fine. :] So, we start talking almost every single day. Hanging out at lunch, in the mornings, just any time we could. and so, things got better and better each week, and I started to consider asking her out. I asked my friends that knew her, and they had told me she wanted me to, so I was really excited, and then, on the phone one night, I asked if she wanted to do something, and she asked if I wanted to come to her house. Of course, at that point, in my mind I was like "Woo!" ,but anyway, [sorry. xD ] Sooo, I asked her out that Saturday, when we hung out, and we had Fall Break so, I was seeing if we could hang out again, since at this point, I was getting attached. :/ ,but yeaah, so I went to her house the next Friday, and school would come back around on Monday. Well...Monday, was the first day in our relationship, when it got really weird. Like, she'd just be dead silent around me, and I'd ask her what was wrong, but she said she was fine. and it turns out she wasn't, and that she had told her parents some things they didn't approve of, and that she was having a rough time. I understood of course, because I know some people just don't want to discuss things like that, so I carried on trying to cheer her up, and be with her through it. and Monday was just a little weird, but Tuesday, was even worse. I went to go meet her like I did every day, and she had a troubled look on her face, and she was with her friends. and it was somewhat awkward... ,but we were sort of walking at the same time, so it didn't bother me too much. Eventually, we got to where we usually sit, and she told me she had to talk to her friend about something. and of course, I knew the situation, I wasn't going to be upset, so I said okay, and let her go on. ,but this continued for Wednesday... and for Thursday, she talked to me, and said she was grounded, and that she couldn't talk on the phone. and Friday, she started completely avoiding me... So I started getting really upset, but I took consideration, that maybe she just needed to fix something herself, so I didn't mind it. Then my friend Matt said, she was always upset, and so down on herself, and telling him about how she was taking drugs to cope with life. and so I got really concerned, and started talking to her friends, but they didn't even know, because she wouldn't tell them either. and so, this awkwardness continued on for about another week, and then it came to the point where we wouldn't even see each other, or give each a hug, and when Monday came around after that Friday, I went to go find her, and she was sitting with her friends, but I knew them of course. So I sat down next to her, and asked how she was, and she'd say something minor, then look the other way, and literally, the other way. So I just stressed about it, and stressed and stressed, and then Monday of this week, my friend Matt told me she was going to break up with me. ,but it's Thursday now, and we still haven't said a word to each other. I don't even want to break up with her, and at first she said nothing was wrong between us, but the lack of communication made it worse and worse. Today, I was going to go talk to her, but then I just got overwhelmed by something, and I felt light headed, so I went home today.. and I just have no idea what to do or think about any of this. It'd be nice to talk to her like we used to, that's all I want.. ,but things are just getting more distant, and it's becoming sickening. I looked on the Internet to see if anyone had this sorta problem, and this really looks like the place that can help me clear my head. ,but I would say, that I just need to talk to her, and I know that. ,but the avoiding thing, I have no idea what to think about that. and whenever she told me she was grounded and couldn't talk on the phone, she called my friend Matt, and that of course didn't help me feel any better. Also, she deleted my picture comments on MySpace, which is weird.. and she posted this blog about what looks like a cry for help or a drug addiction, and I've tried to talk to her about it, with no luck. I hope someone can tell me what I should do, because I have no clue how to approach that very idea. =/ -Todd
PrincessPeach Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 I think it's pretty clear that you two aren't going to work out. She isn't what you were expecting and does not seem like she wants or is emotionally capable of a relationship. Save yourself further trouble and emotional stress and leave her, even if it isn't what you want to do it's for the best. You trying to talk about it with her and forcing the subject on her when she doesn't want to talk about it with you is only working to push her away. Find someone else who does enjoy being with you and having fun together.
Author toddles Posted November 6, 2008 Author Posted November 6, 2008 Yeah, I see exactly what you mean. :/ At first, it seemed she was all for it, then she just started acting weird, and now this. It's just really frustrating, and all of my friends have told me I should just do what you just told me as well. and I've talked to my older friends, and they said I should try and talk to her, because of her drug addiction. :/ ,but I suppose I really will have to let her go, and it seems that would make me happier... ,because she's happy around her friends, but right when she sees me, she just looks at the ground or something.. It's rather irritating. ,but yeah, I'll try just breaking up with her tomorrow. I've never actually had a girlfriend, so it's different. Thanks for your opinion though.
Mary3 Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 You seem like a really cool guy But you know , maybe when you said to us : "On Monday we began a relationship " . How do you know in fact that was where she was mentally on that Monday ? How do you know its what she really wanted. It seems she withdrew and backed away by her behaviors. She did not sound like someone ready for a relationship due to her problems.
Author toddles Posted November 7, 2008 Author Posted November 7, 2008 Well thank you. ^^ ,but yeah, I was really getting the feeling once she started acting weird that she wasn't ready for one either. She is pretty young, and things were going well, so I thought it was safe and asked her out. her reaction was "Of course.", so I really thought we were doing good. Then after Fall Break, on that Monday, she started acting weird. ,but in reality, we had been in the relationship for a week or so, and Monday was the only real day it got weird, so. I totally understand what you are saying though, and sometimes I want to talk to her, and other times I just want to move on. ,but either way, it's not going anywhere, so I think I might just talk to her tomorrow, or try to. v.v
Mary3 Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 Well thank you. ^^ ,but yeah, I was really getting the feeling once she started acting weird that she wasn't ready for one either. She is pretty young, and things were going well, so I thought it was safe and asked her out. her reaction was "Of course.", so I really thought we were doing good. Then after Fall Break, on that Monday, she started acting weird. ,but in reality, we had been in the relationship for a week or so, and Monday was the only real day it got weird, so. I totally understand what you are saying though, and sometimes I want to talk to her, and other times I just want to move on. ,but either way, it's not going anywhere, so I think I might just talk to her tomorrow, or try to. v.v Is that your pic ? You are really cute
D-Lish Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 I think you really only have one option here, and that is to let her be. Her behaviour isn't indicative of someone that wants to keep dating you. It doesn't sound like she has her crap together... and as much as you may feel the need to "help" her through this drug problem or save her from her self esteem issues... You are better off NOT getting involved in her issues. Why? Because they would drag you down as well. I suspect you are both in HS? Trying to figure out the foreign behaviours of the opposite sex isn't easy, and often very confusing. From what little you say about her behaviours, she sounds a bit troubled. I doubt she'd be the ideal girlfriend for you. I wouldn't even begin to try and guess what the behaviour change is all about if I were you! People can be flighty, change their minds- it happens all the time - often without good reason. It's difficult to accept that people change their minds, lose their feelings. That's a part of dating though. I don't know her whole story, so it's difficult to speculate about anything.... I only had a nagging feeling that she sounds like a handfull of drama. I may be wrong, I am only going by what little you said. But if I am right... You really, really want to stay away from her anyway.
Author toddles Posted November 7, 2008 Author Posted November 7, 2008 To Mary3: Yes it is, and Thank youuuuu. =] To D-Lish: Yes, I've thought about that as well, and sometimes I wondered if it'd be worth talking to her about. and yeah, we are in high school, and I'm a Senior, and she's a Sophomore. So things were going to become complicated already graduating this year anyway. ,but I've pretty much told myself, that we've broken up, there's not much point discussing it. In this very situation, actions are speaking louder than words anyway, so I figured if she doesn't want to say anything, I'm just gonna tell myself that's that. My friends have mentioned a few things that have stood out in my mind lately though. My friend told me that yesterday, she was telling everyone that I was ignoring her, and he took it as an " Are you seriously saying that?" kinda thing. and I heard how it went on, that he told her I didn't care that she didn't care, and that she needed to start caring, or just break up with me, and she never answered, so. :/ ,and she has yet to say anything to me today, and in the hall she looks really frustrated with me, but I didn't really do anything... As for the drug problem, I guess that was sort of a natural reaction to how she acted, and I thought that maybe that was the main reason she became distant from me. ,but that also brings me back to saying, she acts nowhere near how she acts around me, around her friends. So that's dumb by itself. I appreciate all the opinions, and it's pretty clear what I must do, so I suppose I'll need to forget about it. It is disappointing, because I just wonder how she'll end up, but oh well. :/
Mary3 Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Heya How has everything been going with you ?
Author toddles Posted December 10, 2008 Author Posted December 10, 2008 I'm doing fine. I met someone else eventually, and I'm pretty happy. ^-^ So I guess this post is pretty much pointless now. xD
Mary3 Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 I'm doing fine. I met someone else eventually, and I'm pretty happy. ^-^ So I guess this post is pretty much pointless now. xD Well you can always post good and bad here ! Stay in touch if you have any questions.
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