Mr Biscuits Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 I'm going to a club on Saturday because it's a friend's birthday. However, it's the favourite club of my ex, and there is a very good chance I'll see her there with her new, younger, much better looking boyfriend. Has anyone any advice as to how I should handle it if I see her (and him) there? It's been 7 months, but I know it'll still tear me up inside to see them and to see her so happy with him.
CaliGuy Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 I'm going to a club on Saturday because it's a friend's birthday. However, it's the favourite club of my ex, and there is a very good chance I'll see her there with her new, younger, much better looking boyfriend. Has anyone any advice as to how I should handle it if I see her (and him) there? It's been 7 months, but I know it'll still tear me up inside to see them and to see her so happy with him. I would ignore her. If you can bring a date, even better. But don't go out of your way to say hi. If she approaches you say hello and keep walking. Do NOT, whatever you do, DO NOT stay and chat with her!!!! That's a big time NO NO. She needs to see that you are fine without her in your life. YOU need to know you are fine without her in your life. You can do that by following the advice above. Do not seek her out. And make sure you're smiling and having fun.
Author Mr Biscuits Posted November 6, 2008 Author Posted November 6, 2008 I should also point out that not going to this club is not an option. It's my friend's day and it's where he wants to go, and I can't avoid the place forever.
Author Mr Biscuits Posted November 6, 2008 Author Posted November 6, 2008 I would ignore her. If you can bring a date, even better. But don't go out of your way to say hi. If she approaches you say hello and keep walking. Do NOT, whatever you do, DO NOT stay and chat with her!!!! That's a big time NO NO. She needs to see that you are fine without her in your life. YOU need to know you are fine without her in your life. You can do that by following the advice above. Do not seek her out. And make sure you're smiling and having fun. I am happy to ignore her and just say hi, but would that not give the impression that I'm still bitter about the whole thing? (which I am, unfortunately)
lofi_tokyo Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 I think Caliguy's suggestion about bringing a date and ignoring her is the best idea. I really feel for you because last night my ex's girlfriend, the woman he left me for, contacted me just to be rude. Until that point I had never seen her, didn't know her full name, didn't know anything about her except she goes to the same college as my ex and plays WoW (which is why they started talking). Um... until last night, I was pretty close to over my ex. Now my heart feels tight and theres a deep pain in my chest. So... I can relate to the pain you're anticipating. Be strong. Avoid contact with her at all costs, and make sure you bring a date so you feel confident. Good lcuk!
CaliGuy Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 I am happy to ignore her and just say hi, but would that not give the impression that I'm still bitter about the whole thing? (which I am, unfortunately) Why, do you owe her anything? Is she owed any of your time or attention? If the answer is no then it's not bitterness but simply the fact that she is no longer in your life (her choice) and as such, you are not obligated to appease her. If she wants a self-esteem boost, don't give it to her (which is what you do by responding when they contact you). Just smile, say hello and move on. If she wants to talk, find an excuse to be busy! You're too busy having a fun life to waste your time on her. Right? Right!
RogueAC Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 I have had this happen few times over the past few months with my most recent ex. I am usually with a date or friends so I just do my own thing—whatever the location I am there to have fun NOT to see or talk to the ex. I suggest acknowledging the ex with a wave or nod but nothing more. If she comes over to you be polite, civil, smile, say hello and roll out very quickly to a different part of the club, the bar, the bathroom. Don’t brood or stare or try to be in her space at all. Do your own thing. Have fun, smile and laugh with your friends. You will not seem bitter but that you really don’t care about her and are over her. Also, if you drink, take it very easy (i.e. don't get drunk). You may want to talk to your friend and allow yourself the option to leave, even if it is his night.
Author Mr Biscuits Posted November 6, 2008 Author Posted November 6, 2008 Why, do you owe her anything? Is she owed any of your time or attention? If the answer is no then it's not bitterness but simply the fact that she is no longer in your life (her choice) and as such, you are not obligated to appease her. If she wants a self-esteem boost, don't give it to her (which is what you do by responding when they contact you). Just smile, say hello and move on. If she wants to talk, find an excuse to be busy! You're too busy having a fun life to waste your time on her. Right? Right! We were together a long time (5 years), but there's been no contact in 6 months, so clearly she doesn't give a crap about me. So I guess you must be... Right
RogueAC Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 and make sure you bring a date so you feel confident. Good luck! It is up to you, but in my experience, bringing a date just "have one" usually makes me feel worse and I end up thinking about ex more. Unless, of course, I'm hot for the new guy... In these cases, I'm better off with a close friend of the opposite sex. I almost forgot-- take some time to look your best. Trust me, this will boost your confidence the most.
dannydrifter Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 I'm going to a club on Saturday because it's a friend's birthday. However, it's the favourite club of my ex, and there is a very good chance I'll see her there with her new, younger, much better looking boyfriend. Has anyone any advice as to how I should handle it if I see her (and him) there? It's been 7 months, but I know it'll still tear me up inside to see them and to see her so happy with him. Don't sweat it, just go and have a fun time and if you see them just act normal and don't pay much attention. What can you do man? That's life. And here's a totally crazy idea you might want to try, because, what the hell we only live once. Go to your local shopping mall and keep your eyes open for beautiful women. Then approach the most beautiful and attractive one you find, and ask her if she would like to accompany you to this club. Just do it, it's totally crazy but imagine if you get a yes and you go to the club with a smoking hot babe? I would even offer the girl $100 to accompany you, and tell her you will pay for everything. Maybe at the end of the night you can bang her too!
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