Tryng2Trust08 Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 After having problems with a guy I was dating for about 7 months, he finally ended it last nite for the 2nd time. We were trying to make it work, he came over the other night and we had a great time & I finally felt like things were coming together. I sent a text message and it rubbed him the wrong way and he said we don't get along, etc...and couldnt put up with this and he has tried and tried with me. I was only asking him to do something this weekend, he leaves for a busines trip and I thought we could spend a couple of hours together. I didn't really have the time this weekend, but I was making the extra time for him. He went on to say he had a ton of things to get done, I feel like they were excuses, but if I wanted to come over he would be packing and getting stuff ready. It made me feel not wanted after I was really going out of my way to make this time for him. I sent a text saying everytime I ask him to do something, its never the right day. Keep in mind, he is usually the one to ask, I don't too often. He got mad saying Im selfish and inconsiderate knowing he has a business trip to go on and has to get ready. I didnt think a couple of hours was really going to set him back and it was early in the day so he could go to bed early to get up for his flight. I apologized, but I need some input....was I wrong here? Why did he flip on me? After he said he didnt want to date anymore, I said it's best we don't talk. He didnt agree, he said we could still talk, but dating wasn't working for us but we have spent too much time together to not be friends. I said I needed some closure for this and only time will tell what will happn between us. I dont think I could just go from dating to friends overnight. Any input would be appreciated..what do I do now? I am really hurting. I feel like I have given my all to this relationship. I work, go to school and on top of that Im a single mom. I made time for him I didn't even have, and he called me selfish.
bleh Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 All i can say is do not try an salvage a friendship if it has come to an end. I dated my best friend and when it ended i figured it would be nice if i could keep my best friend and put myself through hell to keep her friendship. I have seen her every single week at uni since the breakup 9 months ago and only in the last couple of months has it really stopped hurting. The irony of it all is that although we are still friends i think we could have been better friends by ending it, cold cut, no contact and starting again 6 months later fresh. Would have made the grieving process a lot easier and would have gotten over her a lot quicker (in my opinion anyways) so now i'm left with half a friend... which don't get me wrong i'm glad i still have but i think its important to start fresh otherwise its like befriending an enemy, its easier to start a friendship with an acquaintance rather than an enemy isn't it? Following this logic make your ex an acquaintance before pursuing a friendship, things with rocky starts usually stay rocky from experience.... so let him know the rules, your either in or out, no one has the right to be reckless with your heart. If he is out, then you are out for good. Hopfully there is something salvagable and many might disagree with me and say never talk to him again but i think if at some point we have it in ourselves to fall in love with these people then they are most probably worth keeping as friends.... as long as that friendship doesn't come at the detriment of your happiness or sense of well being.... i hope that answers some of your question... i get the feeling iv wondered off :-)
Author Tryng2Trust08 Posted November 6, 2008 Author Posted November 6, 2008 Thanx so much for the advice! I sent him a text earlier telling him I was just trying to make time for him and trying to do something nice and it backfired on me. )Deep down I think he just is making excuses, although he says he is not). He replied asking if I would like to talk tonight. I felt torn when I got the text, I didnt know how to reply, so I just thought about it and told him I would if he wanted to. He said sure and we will talk 2nite. I dont know what hes going to say, but I dont feel like I have much 2 say. I agree with you, him and me would be much better friends if we take a break, get ourselves back together and then be friends after not talking for a little bit. He is a nice friend, we never really got into bad fights, never called names, we have respect for each other, so I can see us being friends after all this has setted down, I still feel hurt.
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