pandagirl Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 I just need to get this out. Went about two months NC. I was doing great. I had pretty much completely let go, sure I missed talking to him, but even the idea of a future with no possible friendship with him seemed OK. I wrote about this in another thread, but he included me in a group email about couple weeks ago. It was an obvious deliberate move on his part to include me. Just hearing from him even in a non-personal way really threw me off. Now, I've found myself missing him. Not romantically, but I just miss having him in my life. I find myself really wanted to contact him and trying to be friends again. I'm scared that I will never see or talk to him again. I know things will get better again, but part of me is also like: life is too short! If you care about someone, make an effort. And I know this sounds corny, but this whole election has made me feel so inspired and hopeful and it's spilling into my personal life! Makes me just want to write him and say: Let's put everything behind us and start over.
Nemo Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 Makes me just want to write him and say: Let's put everything behind us and start over. Perfect! Just needs a little something at the end. Maybe something like "Yes We Can!!!!"
garnet Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 PG, I've seen several of the threads you've written about this guy since you broke up. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I really don't think you should contact him. It strikes me that you are spending way too much of your mental energy obsessing over someone (and it's been going on for quite a long time now) who has made it clear that you aren't a priority. Trying to be friends with him is obviously not healthy for you, at least not now. Who cares why he included you in a group email? I think you're reading way too much into it. You've said that you're fine with just being his friend, but your threads about him indicate otherwise. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I think you're WAY too wrapped up in this person and what he's thinking and feeling. I've been there myself and it pains me to see someone else making the same mistake, so I felt compelled to respond. Please do yourself a favor and move on!
Author pandagirl Posted November 6, 2008 Author Posted November 6, 2008 PG, I've seen several of the threads you've written about this guy since you broke up. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I really don't think you should contact him. It strikes me that you are spending way too much of your mental energy obsessing over someone (and it's been going on for quite a long time now) who has made it clear that you aren't a priority. Trying to be friends with him is obviously not healthy for you, at least not now. Who cares why he included you in a group email? I think you're reading way too much into it. You've said that you're fine with just being his friend, but your threads about him indicate otherwise. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I think you're WAY too wrapped up in this person and what he's thinking and feeling. I've been there myself and it pains me to see someone else making the same mistake, so I felt compelled to respond. Please do yourself a favor and move on! Garnet, you're not being harsh at all! I am not going to contact him. I know better than to do so. I think it's just that I feel sad. I know none of you know me in real life, but I'm just a rather sensitive person who really takes things to heart. It's seeps into other aspect of my life, too. Thank you so much for your concern, it's really sweet and appreciated. I just miss people and things a lot, but I am and always will be and am working on, being a complete person on my own.
garnet Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 I'm completely the same way. I get attached to people easily and have always had a hard time letting go, even when I know it's not healthy to remain in contact. But after enough hard knocks in that area, I've gradually gotten better about it. You'll find that it gets much easier over time, and when you fill your life with other things and people, you'll miss him less. When one person is preoccupying your mind all the time, you're in dangerous territory. Just tell yourself you refuse to do that anymore, focus on achieving your goals and nurturing your healthy relationships. Good luck!
You'reasian Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 I just need to get this out. Went about two months NC. I was doing great. I had pretty much completely let go, sure I missed talking to him, but even the idea of a future with no possible friendship with him seemed OK. I wrote about this in another thread, but he included me in a group email about couple weeks ago. It was an obvious deliberate move on his part to include me. Just hearing from him even in a non-personal way really threw me off. Now, I've found myself missing him. Not romantically, but I just miss having him in my life. I find myself really wanted to contact him and trying to be friends again. I'm scared that I will never see or talk to him again. I know things will get better again, but part of me is also like: life is too short! If you care about someone, make an effort. And I know this sounds corny, but this whole election has made me feel so inspired and hopeful and it's spilling into my personal life! Makes me just want to write him and say: Let's put everything behind us and start over. You could always knock on his door and when answers, jump onto him
Author pandagirl Posted November 6, 2008 Author Posted November 6, 2008 I'm completely the same way. I get attached to people easily and have always had a hard time letting go, even when I know it's not healthy to remain in contact. But after enough hard knocks in that area, I've gradually gotten better about it. You'll find that it gets much easier over time, and when you fill your life with other things and people, you'll miss him less. When one person is preoccupying your mind all the time, you're in dangerous territory. Just tell yourself you refuse to do that anymore, focus on achieving your goals and nurturing your healthy relationships. Good luck! I am focused on my career right now, have amazing friends, (a new president!), I am actually happier now than I have been in years. But, to me, people aren't disposable. Each person who comes into my life means something greatly to me. I'm not one to make casual acquaintances. So it makes it hard. However, there is a healthy way of dealing with these emotions, and it's getting easier.
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