spike 1705 Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 [COLOR=black][FONT=Batang]Hi everyone and I thank you sincerely in advance for your patience in reading this and for offering any insights you can give me, especially from women.[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Batang] We were together for 5 years plus – living separately, as we both have a child – and have now been broken up for approx. 6 months. After meeting her I decided that it would be time for me to change just about everything in my life for the better. I gave up some vices, went back to study at university, became an attentive boyfriend for the first time in my life. Problem was that I took on too much at once; combining parenting, schooling, working and paying attention to my relationship was more demanding than I thought. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Batang]When I qualified as a worker with troubled young people life became all that much more demanding and then my very old mum fell sick and three years into the relationship I was physically and emotionally supporting every significant person in my life – except my ex! Ultimately I was diagnosed with clinical depression and I managed to develop a terrific taste for alcohol, just to get me through. She was my complete support network, but it all happened by stealth. Neither of us realised the chemistry of the relationship had changed so much over time and, ironically, now I need that support network more than ever. Until the very day she let me go she was/is the most incredibly sensitive, supportive, nurturing and devoted person I’ve ever known and she supported me completely throughout the process.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Batang]Her last email to me just prior to the break up ended with “for your beautiful eyes; I love you mister.”[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Batang]Just some context FYI; we didn't ever fight or even exchange harsh words, nor was there any physical abuse or the likes. Since that very moment she has been completely different - like she's had a personality switch. During my pathetic begging and pleading period of the next three months she was the complete opposite; like a light switch had been turned off. She looked at me differently, talks coldly in matter of fact way, is not interested in, offering of nor responsive to compliments or affection of any kind. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Batang]She has stopped contacting me completely since the break up and it is scary because over such a long time that I knew I know her heart isn't that ice cold, [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Batang]She just went away, in every way. I’ve been off the drink, got myself very fit and done all the right things in the time since, but in my heart, even though I don’t want that old relationship back, I still miss her as a person very much.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Batang]I miss her voice and her friendship.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Batang]The last time we spoke about two weeks ago I asked her whether it was still the case that she needed a life without me in it she replied: “Yes, for now.”[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Batang]I asked if was OK for me to still imagine a day when we could somehow re-connect and she said yes.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Batang]What does this all mean? I feel so lost – please help if you can. If you have been patient enough to read this I thank you.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Batang]If you can shed some light on what is going on I would be very grateful.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Batang]Love and good wishes to all.[/FONT][/COLOR]
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