tyler123 Posted November 5, 2008 Posted November 5, 2008 I have had NC with my 2yr affair MW for almost one month ( i had one break down- where I tried to talk to her by knowing her schedule and showing up at the starbux. She talked to me but it was terribly uncomfortable for both of us.. It is so strange when you share EVERYTHING WITH SOMEONE, play scrabble, cook for one another, bath each other, go to the bathroom in front of each other. and then she cant even make eye contact. I can't stop wondering what she is feeling /thinking.. She sent me a text saying "I want you out of my life" once the Husband knew she was at my apt. when a month prior she told him she would never talk to me again. I know she is working on her marriage and has 3 young gurls that i also fell in love with-- they fell in love with me-- i changed diapers, watched them do dance recitals for me. So she has some distractions that i don't.. But I am so curious from any of you out there to add some insight to her and her discomfort..THANK FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT.. oh yeah i also know i shouldn't worry about her and her actions but i am just being honest..
whichwayisup Posted November 5, 2008 Posted November 5, 2008 Well, I suggest you find a hobby, something you love to do - Whether it be sports, or photography - DO something to occupy your mind. She was wrong to involve you so much in her life, and involve you with her kids. She led a double life and got busted, that about sums it up.. Have you read all stampdaddy's threads? If not, click on his username and find all threads by stampdaddy..It'll help you alot.
blinded Posted November 5, 2008 Posted November 5, 2008 Although the break is fresh for me, if 2 months down the road I run into OM, I would also have a hard time looking at him in the eyes. Only because it would hurt too much and it would be easy to fall right back into the cycle of the A. If she is truly trying to work on her M, then she is doing what's best for both of you. I am sure she doesn't forget a single moment that you two shared. The text she sent you was hurtful. Maybe she regretted writing that to you and was ashamed to look at you. I know I would.
Holding-On Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 I agree that she probably feels very bad and doesn't want to revive good feelings. She's probably agreed with her husband to NC you and work on the marriage. She may feel some shame if her husband was very hurt. I can only tell you as the OW I have recently had chosen to not talk to my MM that I love very much. It hurts like hell and conversations are uncomfortable. I had to snub him and be cold to end any attempt at communication. I don't want him to lose his marriage so I chose this interaction but of course I feel like a jerk. So she may love you still but she has chosen her husband. best wishes to you.
kp20735 Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 Yep you are out of luck she choose or was afraid to end her marriage. Either way her choice and you just have to walk away. Yes it makes no sense how she could just snub you like that. Affairs are like high school relationships intense and just suddenly over for one of the parties. Good luck to you
ioncebelieved Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 Your story sounds a lot like mine. Guilt is why it is uncomfortable. Guilt from having a relationship with you and staying with her spouse and guilt on her from her husband. I understand your pain!!!! I lived it for as long as you. I have been in NC on and off since June. It is a long hard road my friend. I learned a valuable lesson about giving my heart to a lying married women.
Author tyler123 Posted November 6, 2008 Author Posted November 6, 2008 Well i was just at my 8am meeting OF AA and there she was- something happened that we were looking at each other and she did not give me that cold look- it was a loving look-i smiled and did a quick deep breath and got my concentration back on the present and the meeting. After the meeting i was having a cigerette with 2 people and not surprisingly by the nonverbal communication we shared in the meeting- she came and joined us-- i was a little surprised and had to keep my held up high with no shame no guilt and most importantly guard myself and actions from getting into the trap... I am not sure what she is thinking other than the fact it was quite evident she is having some type of desire to not be cold to me.. I rather type in the board for therapy than go chasing into my head what all that was, I feel better typing already as i know its the right thing. Whatever is going on in her head can not be my job to assume or take personally- i will leave it with her and move on with my day.. THANKS I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!
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