kiki30 Posted November 5, 2008 Posted November 5, 2008 Hi guys, Could really use some advice. I turned 30 this summer and ended a bad 7 year relationship -bad in the sense that we grew apart years ago and my ex well let's say is emotionally unavailable for the most part. Anyway this has been going on since May and the **** hit the fan in august. Anyway, I am over him - thank god! and now I am thrust into the single world. I really never dated before my ex and now I am freakin clueless - clueless and 30 is no fun. I met a guy at a talk the other day, i actually recognized him from a class 10 years ago - don't ask (elephant memory) we ended up talking for 5-8 minutes or so, i wasn't trying to pick him up I am way too naive for that. Anyway what he said interested me...and he suggested we exchange info. That caught me off guard, I was just trying to figure out where i knew him from - anyway I gave him my number and he gave me his email address. I realized that in this day and age people give out email addresses I guess and then facebook or something...i don't even have a facebook account. I am interested in having another conversation...with him but why would he call, i should have given him my email. I was thinking about emailing him about some info about a program he is interested in. But, I don't know if he was just getting my info ... and had no intention of really communicating with me. This is soooo highschool, but again I missed that whole highschool early twenties dating part of my life... Help? Please?
BikerBeagle Posted November 5, 2008 Posted November 5, 2008 Wow, only 2 months to get over a 7 year relationship? Interesting that he'd give you his email when you gave him your phone number, even by today's dating standard. It's usually tit-for-tat ...phone for phone, email for email, whatever. Also interesting that he did it so quickly ...within 5-8 minutes "or so"? These could be red flags. You gave him your info, it's up to him to make the next move ...traditionally. If you feel comfortable making the first move, though, emailing him that info (with a short message cleverly worded that you are available) wouldn't be a bad idea. I'd just tread carefully and slowly.
Author kiki30 Posted November 5, 2008 Author Posted November 5, 2008 actually this breakup has been dragging on since may, not two months. I went thru the whole gammit, he picked up and started sleeping with some chic 4 weeks after everything ended. But you mention some interesting points, he gave me his email address not both, which I don't know how to interpret since he was the one who suggested that we exchange info. Also, I was hanging out with a male friend of mine afterward which could signal to him any number of things, although i saw him talking with a few ladies here and there - but he was volunteering at the event i believe. But the fact that he asked me for my contact info after 5-8 minutes is too soon huh? and his email address instead of both or his number says something too ... oh god maybe i should just let this one go...i could possibly run into him at a conference in a few weeks, maybe see what happens then. or would too much time have elapsed?
mclovin Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 I'm in a similiar boat as you. I'm 28 and ended an 7 year relationship-actually, more like a divorce. I was with my xh for a total of 7 yrs, married almost 2. It wasn't hard to spot we lacked compatibility in many areas but I had low self0esteem. Anyway...that's a whole long story that's over and done with. Yes, I dedicated most of my 20's to the ex, but you know what? It's over and my journey begins and so does yours. The best advice I can give you here is don't waste anymore time. Go out, meet people, have fun. Please don't spend too much time wondering what "so and so" may think if you dare to ask him for an email as a way to contact him. Email/myspace/txt are very common and not that significant, so go ahead and ask him for his email it's no biggie. While it's perfectly normal to feel this, it's important to have new experiences and not waste time beating around the bush. Just what I've learned, that's all. The last thing you want to see is wasting your 30's. Have fun, do what you want and relax!
Author kiki30 Posted November 7, 2008 Author Posted November 7, 2008 Hi Mclovin, Thanks for Mclovin for the advice, our situations are really similar. My relationship was like a marriage as well and I feel like a fish out of water in the new 'single' world. I am trying my best not to get caught up in self-doubt and all of that, I guess it is just a learning curve. I feel like I have a new lease on life, and there is nooooo way I am repeating the mistakes i made in my twenties in my thirties, that is why I left my old life behind. Best of luck for you too, wow this is gonna be a ride!
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