wintercs Posted November 5, 2008 Posted November 5, 2008 Hi all, I don't know where else to post this, so I hope this is the most appropriate spot. I have been dating my girlfriend for almost a year and I found out that one of her relatives passed away today. The relative was not "close" in terms of family tree closeness, but the relative was close with my girlfriend and her family. Here's my question: should I go to the funeral? I kind of feel weird about it because I think this is more that she should experience with her family--I feel like I would be quite awkward. Any thoughts are appreciated.
curiousnycgirl Posted November 5, 2008 Posted November 5, 2008 Yes you should go to the funeral. Your job is to be there for her in case she needs you. If she turns to her family, then so be it - you are not allowed to get upset about it. Follows those rules and you will be golden!
lonelyandfrustrated Posted November 5, 2008 Posted November 5, 2008 Does you GF want you there? If so, you must go. I know how awkward this can be. My H's mother passed away two weeks after we started dating. He wanted me there, so I flew to another state and met his ENTIRE family at his mother's funeral! Which was on my H's BIRTHDAY! Talk about awkward! If I can do that, you can do this.
quankanne Posted November 5, 2008 Posted November 5, 2008 am sorry to hear that, winter, your gal has my condolences. talk to her, and get a feel on whether she's comfortable with you being there. Some people are private and want to keep their grief closed/quiet, while others don't mind so much having others around them when they grieve ... she'll give you the best direction. And if she doesn't, offer. It might make you feel uncomfortable, yes, but at this point, it's about being that strong arm of support when she needs it most. You won't regret going even if you're hesitant about it ... especially if she asks you to be there.
sam light Posted November 5, 2008 Posted November 5, 2008 I'd ask her how she felt about you going or not.
konfuzd Posted November 5, 2008 Posted November 5, 2008 Your awkwardness should really not be a factor in this. Talk to her, tell her you'll be there if she wants you there, but if she wants to deal with it with her family then you will respect that. In any case, you should buy a card for her family expressing your concern and ask your gf what she needs from you.
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