kc26 Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 I started dating a guy me and my family have known forever. I went to pre k with him. My parents went to high school with his parents. So he is no stranger to our family. And we've gone to the same church for our whole lives. My boyfriend had gotten in to drugs while he was in high school. But he turned his life around. He quit drugs. And became a christian about a month before we even started talking to each other on a regular basis. When we first got together my parents seemed to be okay with it. But about a month into the relationship my parents told me I had to break up with him. I thought it was kind of crazy. I am 18. And honestly have never done anything for my parents to get upset about. Never lied about where i was. Never came home to late. I was the "perfect" daughter. So i thought they would have a little more trust in me. But instead of arguing with them I respected their wishes and broke up with him. They took away my phone, grounded me, and took away my laptop for a month so I couldn't talk to him. They were trying to make it "easier" for me to get over him. But even after this month i still cared about him a lot. In August I moved out of my house to go to college. And this guy had been planning on going to the same college I was. We ended up getting back together. And before i could tell my parents, someone else did. My parents were outraged. My father wouldn't talk to me for a month. And my mom would only e-mail me. Now they talk to me. But all they ever say is "he is not your equal". They are judging him because of the way he was while he was in high school. They didn't talk to him once while we were together the first time. And if he was the way he was in high school, i wouldn't be with him. But my parents haven't taken the time to get to know him. They are judging because of his past, and going off all the rumors that circulate about him. (apparently he smokes- yet i spend most of everyday with him and i've not once smelt smoke on him or seen a package of cigarettes) They say that it's too early for him to be in a relationship after drug use (which i think is his decision not theirs). And they say if he really cared about me, and if he was really mature he would break up with me so i could have a good relationship with my parents. And i think he shouldn't have to break up with me just because they don't like him.. that's my decision. I love him, and I love my parents. Should I break up with him to fix things with my parents? Or keep him and let my parent's be mad at me? Sorry that was long.
joshaz Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 Even if this guy isn't very good for you, you still need to learn to be independent. And they will need to learn to deal with it. Of course they could always cut your college funding if they are providing it... But that's life.
PrincessPeach Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 I am not a parent, so take this next bit with a grain of salt, but it might be something to do with your parents realizing that you are all grown up now. They don't want to let go of their daughter just yet and are doing this (probably subconsciously) as a way to still have some semblance of their little daughter. They might feel that this boy will take you away from them. It's unfortunate that your parents think that way. I think I have been fortunate not to be in this situation, perhaps others who have had similar past experiences would chime in with their solutions. I don't think you should leave him because your parents say so. I don't think you'd be happy with yourself if you made that decision. You should be able to make decisions for yourself and be in control of your own life. Who is to say they approve of the next, or any, boy you choose to date? If you let your parents control you in this situation, they will probably try to do so again if they disagree with you in the future.
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