vince1128 Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 So the girl that i've liked for months!! has finally come around. She always told me how she didnt want a relationship, and she still doesnt. (reason ppl doubted her liking me, myself included) she says the dating title messes things up (wait after class, call every night, etc..) which i disagree with but anyways.. I finally took her out and had a great conversation with her. She had heard rumors about me that werent true suggesting i was a man whore and i proved they were wrong. Then I asked her if she had a fear of relationships, or why she didnt like them.. She explained about how the title messes things up like i said above. She knows I like her, and I asked her flat out if she liked me. She said isn't it more fun to be kept on your toes? NO, NOT ANYMORE! haha I've been going through all this for months now where i think she likes me but ive been afraid to try anything b/c she keeps saying she doesnt want a relationship. So i told her, I like the chase, and i like being on my toes but if the answers no i would want you to let me know pretty soon because I dont want to keep playing this game. she said, Actions speak louder then words. (For the record, we always have a great time together and she is really into me.) So I finally kissed her at the end of the night. She is by far the most confusing girl i have ever talked to in my life!! Then we hung out again tonight and watched movies with a bunch of friends on this projector outside with a bunch of blankets and weve kissed a bunch more now... But, I do still want the dating title. Do relationships like this generally work or is it a bad idea? This is honestly the prettiest coolest girl i have ever seen in my life and dont want to mess anything up.
Author vince1128 Posted November 4, 2008 Author Posted November 4, 2008 do you think its that she just wants to make sure she likes me and im the right guy before we move on, and/or bc shes afraid of a relationship and being hurt?
CommitmentPhobe Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 do you think its that she just wants to make sure she likes me and im the right guy before we move on, and/or bc shes afraid of a relationship and being hurt? Why not ask her?
PrincessPeach Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 In my dating experience, the boys tend to fall in love much faster. And springing the exclusive/relationship desires on the girl too soon will scare many girls away. However, most girls also aren't going to be the ones to bring up the exclusiveness or want of a commitment when we are ready either. I'd say keep doing what you two are doing now and don't bring it up yet. If things continue to progress and she sticks around it should start to feel natural that you two are together. Try not to stress too much about the title of a relationship. It's really not a whole lot different just because you have to give it a name, you can still have fun together.
PrincessPeach Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 Why not ask her? Please don't ask her this! It should be a clue to you how she asks if it's more fun as sort of a mystery that she likes it being a little bit of a mystery still. So don't ask her and I'll answer the question for you She wants to make sure you a guy she'd be interested in and needs a little more time than you do to decide this and build some comfort for you. You being able to move forward with her will help her decide that you are the right guy for her. We are all afraid of being hurt, and getting into an official relationship too soon increases the chances of getting hurt. She wants a better idea that a relationship is going to work out before she commits herself to one. Just pretend that you are in a relationship, just don't ever use that word with her or anyone else. If you keep thinking it and things go well, it will eventually become true.
CommitmentPhobe Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 I kinda agree but you could at least let me play devils advocate a bit before jumping in
dannydrifter Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 At least your kissing with her now, so that's good! Who knows what will be next.
Author vince1128 Posted November 4, 2008 Author Posted November 4, 2008 Please don't ask her this! It should be a clue to you how she asks if it's more fun as sort of a mystery that she likes it being a little bit of a mystery still. So don't ask her and I'll answer the question for you She wants to make sure you a guy she'd be interested in and needs a little more time than you do to decide this and build some comfort for you. You being able to move forward with her will help her decide that you are the right guy for her. We are all afraid of being hurt, and getting into an official relationship too soon increases the chances of getting hurt. She wants a better idea that a relationship is going to work out before she commits herself to one. Just pretend that you are in a relationship, just don't ever use that word with her or anyone else. If you keep thinking it and things go well, it will eventually become true. Great advice!! I'm going to do this! Thanks:)
mrkingcory Posted November 5, 2008 Posted November 5, 2008 Please don't ask her this! It should be a clue to you how she asks if it's more fun as sort of a mystery that she likes it being a little bit of a mystery still. So don't ask her and I'll answer the question for you She wants to make sure you a guy she'd be interested in and needs a little more time than you do to decide this and build some comfort for you. You being able to move forward with her will help her decide that you are the right guy for her. We are all afraid of being hurt, and getting into an official relationship too soon increases the chances of getting hurt. She wants a better idea that a relationship is going to work out before she commits herself to one. Just pretend that you are in a relationship, just don't ever use that word with her or anyone else. If you keep thinking it and things go well, it will eventually become true. Very nice piece of advice! Im sure that answered a lot of guys questions. I used to find myself in this situation before all the time. Where the 'd' word was never to be said...lol... or we could only hold hands "sometimes"
monkey00 Posted November 5, 2008 Posted November 5, 2008 do you think its that she just wants to make sure she likes me and im the right guy before we move on, and/or bc shes afraid of a relationship and being hurt? Peach is giving good advice. personally having been in your situation before, that is often how girls behave in this kind of situation. Some girls like to make absolutely sure they know what they're getting into and feel you out before they make 100% commitment. Unfortunately in my case, I was impatient and I never allowed it to happen...though don't make the same mistake I did.
PrincessPeach Posted November 5, 2008 Posted November 5, 2008 Great advice!! I'm going to do this! Thanks:) You're welcome! Keep us posted on how things go!
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