juliemanooli Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 My ex and I broke up about a month ago. and everytime we've talked to each other, our conversation becomes an argument. I've been doing NC, but its seriously beginning to swallow me whole. I cant concentrate, or even think....let alone work for that matter. I need closure. I need to let him know. I cant go on pretending like everything doesnt matter to me. So... I decided to write a note. The question is whether or not I should give it to him. Take a look.. Michael, I know I'm the last person you want to hear from. But I cant keep on pretending like everything is fine. I know its over. And I'm getting better everyday about it. But what really bothers me is the fact that you actually believe what everyone says to you. You've known me for a while now.. You know the kind of person I am. Or do you? What you did to me was bad. But you had your reasons. And it could have been worse.. i guess. But i'm over it. And I would never go and talk about you that way. This isnt middle school. I'm not mad at you. Nor do I hate you. I meant it when i said that I only want you to be happy. I thought you'd want the same for me. You're not the only one in this that has been hearing things. I know you said you never want me to see you, talk to you, or have anything to do with you anymore. And I'll do that. This is the last time you will ever have to hear from me. Or see me either. I'm sorry if i bother you that much, damn. I'm not being dramatic about this. I'm just simply doing what you want me to do. We NEVER fought like this when we were toghether.. and now, we fight every time we TALK to eachother. What happened to us? I'm just going to let you know one thing. I really did love you. I dont regret our relationship at all. I've had some of my happiest moments with you. Now I'm gonna be honest...I lied when I agreed to be friends. I cant be a friend to you. We were never friends in the beginning, and its too hard for me to start now. I know I will always have feelings for you, and until they go away, i dont want us to be friends. In a way, its best for the both of us to just carry on as if nothing ever happened. I cant change how you feel, all I can do is tell you exactly whats going through my mind, and hope that you will realize what you've done. Dont apologize to me, theres nothing to be sorry about. Best wishes to you. Bye. So should I give it to him? I'm scared of how he will react. And i'm scared of causing another argument. I dont know what to do
Mary3 Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 My ex and I broke up about a month ago. and everytime we've talked to each other, our conversation becomes an argument. I've been doing NC, but its seriously beginning to swallow me whole. I cant concentrate, or even think....let alone work for that matter. I need closure. I need to let him know. I cant go on pretending like everything doesnt matter to me. So... I decided to write a note. The question is whether or not I should give it to him. Take a look.. Michael, I know I'm the last person you want to hear from. But I cant keep on pretending like everything is fine. I know its over. And I'm getting better everyday about it. But what really bothers me is the fact that you actually believe what everyone says to you. You've known me for a while now.. You know the kind of person I am. Or do you? What you did to me was bad. But you had your reasons. And it could have been worse.. i guess. But i'm over it. And I would never go and talk about you that way. This isnt middle school. I'm not mad at you. Nor do I hate you. I meant it when i said that I only want you to be happy. I thought you'd want the same for me. You're not the only one in this that has been hearing things. I know you said you never want me to see you, talk to you, or have anything to do with you anymore. And I'll do that. This is the last time you will ever have to hear from me. Or see me either. I'm sorry if i bother you that much, damn. I'm not being dramatic about this. I'm just simply doing what you want me to do. We NEVER fought like this when we were toghether.. and now, we fight every time we TALK to eachother. What happened to us? I'm just going to let you know one thing. I really did love you. I dont regret our relationship at all. I've had some of my happiest moments with you. Now I'm gonna be honest...I lied when I agreed to be friends. I cant be a friend to you. We were never friends in the beginning, and its too hard for me to start now. I know I will always have feelings for you, and until they go away, i dont want us to be friends. In a way, its best for the both of us to just carry on as if nothing ever happened. I cant change how you feel, all I can do is tell you exactly whats going through my mind, and hope that you will realize what you've done. Dont apologize to me, theres nothing to be sorry about. Best wishes to you. Bye. So should I give it to him? I'm scared of how he will react. And i'm scared of causing another argument. I dont know what to do NO. Do not give it to him. Read it and then burn it. It sounds like he broke up with you. You want closure. You won't get it this way. NOW you see what happens when we agree to be their friends after they break up with us.
norajane Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 Do not send, absolutely not. How have you been doing NC if you're arguing? NC is NO contact. You can't get over him if you're still talking to him.
roxy_1980 Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 The short answer: NO!!!!!!! That is the most contradictory note I've seen in a while. You're trying to win him back, but if that doesn't pan out you're trying to almost make it look like you're okay with everything that has happened. And let's face it, you're not. Otherwise, you wouldn't be writing the letter. You'd be looking for a new, healthier relationship. No contact is a great idea. Leave it alone. It's done. You need time to REALLY come to terms with the break-up and move on before you have any interaction with your ex (if any at all). "Closure" notes never solve anything. Let it be.
Author juliemanooli Posted November 4, 2008 Author Posted November 4, 2008 NC is NO contact. You can't get over him if you're still talking to him. He's the one who contacts me. everytime.
roxy_1980 Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 He's the one who contacts me. everytime. It doesn't matter, you don't have to respond.
Author juliemanooli Posted November 4, 2008 Author Posted November 4, 2008 It doesn't matter, you don't have to respond. Yea you're so right. Screw him. AHH. I'm gonna go burn the note now.
Mary3 Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 Everytime he contacts you its for his Ego Boost. Don't give him that boost ever again ! He's not in your life and deserves NOTHING from you. Got it ?
Vertex Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 Sometimes it is useful to write a note as a sort of therapeutic outlet... but don't actually send them. NC is NC.
Author juliemanooli Posted November 4, 2008 Author Posted November 4, 2008 Everytime he contacts you its for his Ego Boost. Don't give him that boost ever again ! He's not in your life and deserves NOTHING from you. Got it ? You're absolutely right. I think.. deep down inside I already knew that. But part of me just couldnt help it. Its so hard to go from talking to him every minute of the day to making him nonexistant in my life. But i think i'm starting to get better, especially after listening to everyone else. no more contact. at all.
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