Ryan42 Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 I met this girl a little over a year ago. Shes 20 im 27. When we met she was getting divorced from a real d-bag that hit her and her daughter. We went on a couple of dates but nothing really happened. We fell out of contact and only spoke a few times until about a month ago. She calls me up to let me know she was in town with some friends (she lives an hour away) and that they wanted to stop by. We all stayed up til 3 in the morning catching up and all that. About an hour after they left she sends a message saying that she wanted to see me soon so we made a date for that friday. The date was incredible, we went to dinner and a movie and afterwards on a romantic walk through a park that ended with my arm around her. The sparks were definatly flying. So now we have been out 5 times in the last month. Each date has gone well and we have kissed a few times, one of them was very sensual but thats as far as we've been intimately. We got together on halloween with some of her friends and some of mine and we ended up away from everyone else just talking. I got up the courage to ask her where we stand and she said we were friends. Im thinking, great, the F bomb. She said that she does like me but she wants to take it slow and get to know me better before we jump into a relationship. We have already agreed that she shouldnt bring her daughter around until we are closer so i agreed with the whole take it slow approach. Here is my problem. Since we had that talk i have cut back on calling her and all that to give her some space but its driving me crazy. Ive been reading into this way too much. Does it sound to yall that this really is going to the dreaded friend zone or am i just worrying over nothing? I really like her and i dont want to do something pathetic to ruin this. If anyone has any advice it would be great.
samspade Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 I really like her and i dont want to do something pathetic to ruin this. You already did, by asking her where you two stood. This is a big mistake as it interrupts the natural flow of a relationship, and makes you seem needy and pushy. This is especially true for a young girl with a kid who just got out of a nasty marriage - you think she's in a big hurry to commit to anyone right now? She is probably playing the field, and you're one of her options. Luckily you have repaired some damage by backing off. Pretend like you never asked the question if you see her again. Date some other women to clear your head of this one - you're too focused on her. I advise against dating a girl with so many red flags (in an abusive relationship, divorced, has a kid - all by 20!). You're playing with fire.
Agent_99 Posted November 7, 2008 Posted November 7, 2008 Ryan~ Did she ask you where she stands with you? Did you tell her that you would like to keep seeing her, that you think there could be more? Maybe she gave you the answer she thought you wanted to hear. Women do that sometimes. Some people can't help but want to know where they stand with someone else. I am definately like that. And either the person will understand that about me or they won't. Anything besides being myself is playing games, so I just be me. If the other person thinks I am pushy, then damn I'm pushy, big deal. Communication if the key to any relationship lasting beyond casual aquintance. So trying to communicate with her is probably a good idea. If she truly means just friends and taking it slow, then that is what she means, and at least you can respect that and not allow yourself to be too open to her. ~99
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