honeybee2 Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Hi all, I am currently living with my ex boyfriend. I am still in love with him and am doing my part in changing myself for the better. I hurt him alot because of my drinking and since he broke up with me I have decided to stop. Its been 7 weeks. I get hot and cold with him because I still want to be with him and make it work, but then I get upset that he hurt me and try to be distant. When I asked him if he sees us together he says I don't know. things can't start were they left off. It is so impossible since we live together and have the same group of friends. Anyway, 2 weeks ago he stayed out all night, and the next day he told me he stayed over his friends house who happens to be a female, and old friend from high school and she is just divorced. Since then, I can tell when they are texting. So, one night I read his text. They said things from him like lets hang out, there are cheap things we can do... since we are broke. Hers were like lets hang out this night its your turn to chose the activity . I was so upset. So the next time I saw him texting, I asked "are you pursuing her" He said no, that they are just friends and are catching up. So I let it go. This past weekend I couldnt help it and slept with him (sober on both ends) and we went to an amusement park for the day, then when going to bed he kissed me and said he had a great time. So, i was happy. Then I decided to read his texts again.... they have been conversing and the ones that bother me are he is getting in touch with her and its not just her getting in touch with him. and they are are planning on going out again tomorrow... he said okay his treat and her response was Im all yours. I know I should not have read his texts, but what the hell. Help me please8
lofi_tokyo Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Geisha summed it up in two words. Get out. He is moving on. He is not telling you things because you are broken up. You already did the break up, thats trying enough, and if he told you the truth now you'd probably get upset with him, right? So hes lying because hes tired of the drama. Hes probably starting to see this new girl because shes low risk. Old friends are familiar and super easy to catch up with, and also super easy to build romance with, because of common pasts and old familiarity. Theres no drama surrounding her, shes easy to catch up with, and hey! Shes single! Now, he could also being honest with you: he isn't pursuing her in a romantic way. Sometimes my guy friends treat me to meals, just to be friendly, and to bribe me to hang out with them! The fact that she just got out of a divorce, and he just got out of a relationship, could very well mean this could be a bit of a rebound/feel good thing going on. When I broke up with my ex (he dumped me), I called up a highschool friend just for fun, I thought he was dating someone, but as it turned out him and his GF has just broken up. So we did the fresh out of a relationship friendship thing for a while. It was fun! We'd hang out like a couple, joke around about old times, and build new memories while we hung out. Its entirely possible they're flirting/toying with a relationship happening, but I don't know how likely it is that it will turn into anything. Anyways, I don't know why I typed all I just did, I guess to give you comfort of mind, but!!!!!! The important thing here is: It SHOULDNT matter! He has left you. Its time to move out, and move on. Living with him, reading his texts, its just your way of clinging desperately to his ghost even though hes already gone. You won't heal if you do this, you'll only get more upset, and eventually he WILL find someone new to date. Furthermore, he cannot miss you if you're always around and nagging him. Move out. Move on. Make him miss you. If he comes back, good! If not, good! You'll find a better man!
Author honeybee2 Posted November 4, 2008 Author Posted November 4, 2008 thanks for all your advice. So, new happenings: Last night we went out with our friends and upon coming home he kissed me and asked me if he could actually ask me out on a date. This was really sweet especially since in the end of our relationship he never took just me out. Anyway, we continued kissing and I told him I was really unsure of the situation right now. He asked unsure of what. I said of this of everything. He said I understand and I meant what I said about taking you out. Then he asked if I thought it was possible for us to start over and see how it goes and I said I think so. He then said I'd like to think of it as starting this past saturday (when we went to the park) He also said I really like spending time with you and would like to get to know you again. Its nice (but I still can't get this other chick out of my head and they are supposed to go out tonight (i know from texts) And how are we supposed to start over? I mean, we already had sex again. Its so easy, Any help?
Sysyphus28 Posted November 5, 2008 Posted November 5, 2008 I check my exes texts, that's how I knew she cheatd on me all summer. They were horrible. These texts are proof of what's going on. These should give you fuel to NOT start something over with a liar. Call him out and blow up this player's spot.
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