HighPlainsDrifter Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Hey all, I'm looking for suggestions on reading material for getting past a broken relationship. We dated for roughly 4 years and lived together formally for 2. She also had a young daughter I grew really attached to that might have warped my thinking a bit. The mother was very moody, verbally abusive, and wanted to be in complete control of everything. She could also be one of the kindest, most giving people I've ever met, but would turn on a dime. I think she would use that as a manipulative tactic. I probably should have ended the relationship a while ago but never did because I must have thought that being part of something was better than being part of nothing. I have been on NC for what will be 3 months now at this weeks end, and she has contacted me at least 5 times via email, text, phone messages, etc. and I won't reply. Her last attempt was last month. As crazy as it sounds, I still miss her, even though she's got HUGE issues. Not replying has been really, really hard. So now that you have a brief synopsis of my history, I can get to the point. I'm looking for reading material to help with the process. Caliguy already suggested "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and I ordered it early last week. I'm wondering what other recomendations might be out there that have helped guys in this situation. As I stated earlier, it's been 3 months and I'm sick of this situation having so much power over me. I'm sick of feeling this way and sick of thinking about it. Let me know your thoughts and thanks much.
gd26 Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Hey there, I've seen this question asked frequently around here. If you go to the top of the page (where the pink line is) and click on the 'search' button, then type in 'books' in the search line (click on 'search titles only')... it will give you MANY threads that people have posted on regarding this topic. This might be your best source of info, as you will get lots of suggestions that way. Hope this helps. Good luck.
gd26 Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Actually, I got a good list from doing the extended search page, but don't get the same results from the quick search. Anyways, here are a few old threads I found on this topic: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t162841/?highlight=books http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t162090/?highlight=books http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t135123/?highlight=books
Author HighPlainsDrifter Posted November 3, 2008 Author Posted November 3, 2008 I guess I never noticed the search function! My bad! Thanks for the links gd26.
gd26 Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 No problem. Actually, see if this search link works... I think you'll get the most comprehensive list. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/search.php?searchid=5723541
Author HighPlainsDrifter Posted November 3, 2008 Author Posted November 3, 2008 Thanks again gd. Much appreciated...
lofi_tokyo Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 Well for girls out there (sorry this is useless for your highplains), the book "He's just not that into you" by Greg Behrendt and Liz Monchik, is amazing! The book's description reads "the no excuses truth to understanding guys" It really nails the point most LS'ers here try so hard to drive home when a your boyfriend dumps you: Hes not that into you. lol Of course, the statement may seem obvious, but the book forces you to confront your excuses head on, and Greg dissects every little attempt you may make to keep loving your ex. As for Liz? She kind of softens Gregs blows against your clingy self. Overall, its a great book. Because there is an excuse for any situation, its great for a variety of relationships. The only complaint I suppose one could have is most of the excuses won't apply to you - because they're pretty situational. But some will. Either way, the book is a great laugh... AND it gives you tools to build yourself back up! Woo!
Dane19 Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 I just ordered No more Mr. Nice Guy. I can't wait for it to get in!
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