Breastfeeding and movement

[georgejungle]

Hey all...

 

Just need some advice as a Dad...

 

The wife is frustrated..Baby is 4 weeks old and has starting getting

very fussy whenever my wife is breastfeeding her. All she wants to

do is sleep the last couple days, of course, in our arms. Try and

put her down and it's Waaaahhhh! ANNND, her poops are far and few in between. She's also spitting up some after she eats, burping up perfectly good milk.

 

I know, I know, it sound slike she's got a lot of issues. But she

is actually pretty happy most days, she isn't running a fever,

doesn't cry a lot, skin looks healthy, peeing tons, etc.

 

Talked to the Doc and we've looked online and it seems pretty normal

that eating schedules or poops will be all over the place and different

for every baby...but we haven't gotten any good advice as to how to handle her during this time. Just Wait it out?

 

Anyone else exerience this kinda stuff? We're 1st time parents with

Moms who don't know much about babies.

[amaysngrace]

I don't know. That sleeping all the time concerns me. Babies usually become more active as they get older and sleep less.

 

What's the doctor say about her sleeping patterns?

[Geishawhelk]

The minute you go running, the baby becomes rapidly conditioned to knowing that if she screams, you come running.

In the end, she's controlling you.

Start this way now, and guess what a marvellously manipulative teenager you'll have?

 

babies' routines do take time to settle.

This is completely taboo, I guess, and many may crash down on me for saying so, but if your wife is getting tired of breast-feeding and it's wearing her down - consider supplementing the feed (or replacing it altogether!) with formula milk.

 

I did this with my second daughter, who had a minor cleft in her soft rear palate.... It was a nightmare feeding her, and let's not discuss projectile vomiting! The momnet I switched to a bottle - calm reigned.

 

Do whatever feels right for you. There's no such thing as a single rule, because there's no such thing as a single baby.

But if you get fraught - the baby will pick this up, and show distress.

Ask your wife if she's got the hang of distinguishing the type of cry your baby has. Diffdferent cries mean different things.

 

And buy her a dummy! (the baby, not your wife!) They're a wonderful comforter and won't affect the position or growth of the teeth, like a thumb does.....

[Lizzie60]

She is still very little and most babies sleep most of the time..

 

I think the most important thing for ALL babies is to have a strict routine..

They need to know what's next..

 

For ex: change the diaper before the breastfeeding if she goes to sleep right away.. then put her to sleep.. she may be cold or frighten.. she is way too small to manipulate.. she is only crying, at that age, if there is a need that is not fulfill.

 

Keep her warm.. a sling is the most amazing invention...

 

Just listen to her cries.. they usually cry differently depending on their need.

[georgejungle]

i've heard the slings are a good thing. I'll pick one up, thanks.

 

The no poop and sleeping a lot seems normal...I know BFed babies

tend to absorb more and don't poop a lot. Some do, some don't.

they're all different i've learned.

 

Doc says if she's sleepy, let her sleep. But my wife gets concerned

if she hasn't fed in over 2 hours. So she wakes her to feed to

keep on a schedule.

 

But the Bfeeding is the main thing i'm wondering about. Why she'd

be so fussy during feeding (when she wasn't before) makes me think

it could be a growth spurt? She seems very easily distracted and

say if she hasn't eaten in 2-3 hours, she'll latch on and then fall

right off...Hang out for 20 secs...then cry her eys out and whine and

wimper thru the whole feeding. This hasn't been an on-going thing.

Trying to keep her awake thru feedings has...But the Fussiness hasn't.

This behavior happens every 4-5 days or so and lasts 2-3 days. 2-3 days

of nothing pleasing her:o

[Lizzie60]

From your last post.. your baby seems to be a sleepy baby and maybe she doesn't appreciate to be waken up for feeding.. maybe the mother should let the baby chooses her own bfeeding schedule.. maybe she's being difficult because she's NOT hungry... and it causes her to be uncomfortable.

 

A baby is pretty much 'try and see' .. each baby is different.. and even those little ones know what they want and what they need.

[Lizzie60]

Oh and she can also have 'colics'..

[michelangelo]

My edlest was like that and I turned into the supreme burper.

 

in fact, back roads drives with the kid in a car seat on a dirt mountain road worked wonders.

 

Freaked the wife out, but made the kid feel better.

[Geishawhelk]

The way to tell if a baby has wind, is to check the upper lip, just under he nose. if there's a blue-ish tinge, or shadow there, she has wind. If her legs get restless, and keep folding up towards her tummy, it's wind.

 

Oh, and if her little fontanelle is dipped or depressed - she's dehydrated.

 

Please try to convince your wife to let the little one sleep. Trust me, when she's hungry, she'll wake up and let you know! By waking her up and 'force-feeding' her, she's having her own self-imposed routine disrupted!!

My babies used to sometimes go for four or five hours asleep, without being hungry! Babies ae very good at assessing their own needs, and letting us know what they want.

Convince your wife to relax and be less anxious. Her milk production is geared to what the baby wants, and her milk will 'come down' to coincide with the baby's hunger. If she tries to alter this routine, her milk supply will either dry up or be inadequate. So there's he baby, suckling, and getting nothing, because your wife hasn't given herself enough time to produce enough milk. All the baby gets is air.

Hence the wind.

And she's tired, too.....

[Storyrider]

Is she a small baby? Is she gaining weight? That is the most important question, to make sure she doesn't have a feeding problem. If she is getting longer but skinnier rather than plumping up, something is wrong, either with the milk supply or her ability to nurse properly. You might want to see a lactation consultant if this is the case.

 

If she is growing, plumping up, and gaining weight, there is likely no reason for your wife to wake her up at night to nurse. This would only be necessary if she was very small and/or not gaining.

 

(BTW, breast milk is a supply-demand thing, so the more you nurse, the more milk you produce, not the other way around. Nursing more often does not make you dry up.)

 

The other question would be whether she has reflux, if it is unpleasant for her to eat.

 

Finally, it could be as simple as gas, as others have mentioned, or the milk is either not coming out fast enough for her, or is coming out too fast.

[Geishawhelk]

(BTW, breast milk is a supply-demand thing, so the more you nurse, the more milk you produce, not the other way around. Nursing more often does not make you dry up.)

 

Yes, of course, normally I would completely agree with this, but in this case, it's not the baby who's 'demanding' it's the mother, and she's throwing the whole 'natural' routine out of the window.

By trying to gauge a feeding time that she believes is right for the baby, she's actually interfering with natural cycles.

 

That was my point. I've seen it happen, that's all. I'm not trying to start an argument here. truly.

[Nemo]

This is a wonderfully-informative thread! Carry on.

[Storyrider]

Yes, of course, normally I would completely agree with this, but in this case, it's not the baby who's 'demanding' it's the mother, and she's throwing the whole 'natural' routine out of the window.

By trying to gauge a feeding time that she believes is right for the baby, she's actually interfering with natural cycles.

 

That was my point. I've seen it happen, that's all. I'm not trying to start an argument here. truly.

Nor I. You could be right...we need more information.

 

Sometimes mothers are advised to wake up a newborn for feedings because their stomachs are so small and can hold so little at a time, and the fatigue could be lethargy from not getting enough milk, if there is a production problem. But this is not a newborn...

 

And you're right about the mom needing rest and not to worry. She should also make sure she is eating and drinking enough.

 

Nemo, thank you for your stamp of approval. I know you're something of an expert on milk production.

[amaysngrace]

I wouldn't wake my babies to nurse them. I'd wait until they woke up and feed them then. Otherwise it's interrupting their natural hunger signals.

 

I'd be fussy too and prefer to sleep if someone wanted to force feed me all the time.

 

Make sure your wife drinks when she nurses. I loved grape juice. Welch's. And whatever she's eating is getting into her milk. So she should avoid broccoli because it's gassy and offensive foods like onions and garlic and spicy foods like jalepeno peppers.

 

Also four week old babies, on average, sleep 12-16 hours per day.

[Meaplus3]

Hey all...

 

Just need some advice as a Dad...

 

The wife is frustrated..Baby is 4 weeks old and has starting getting

very fussy whenever my wife is breastfeeding her. All she wants to

do is sleep the last couple days, of course, in our arms. Try and

put her down and it's Waaaahhhh! ANNND, her poops are far and few in between. She's also spitting up some after she eats, burping up perfectly good milk.

 

I know, I know, it sound slike she's got a lot of issues. But she

is actually pretty happy most days, she isn't running a fever,

doesn't cry a lot, skin looks healthy, peeing tons, etc.

 

Talked to the Doc and we've looked online and it seems pretty normal

that eating schedules or poops will be all over the place and different

for every baby...but we haven't gotten any good advice as to how to handle her during this time. Just Wait it out?

 

Anyone else exerience this kinda stuff? We're 1st time parents with

Moms who don't know much about babies.

 

As long as the baby is gaining weight and having plenty of wet diapers then I don't think you have anything to worry about at least that was the advice I was given after nursing 3 babies. My babies feel off to sleep often while nursing.. and I let them sleep. When they awoke and were hungry I would feed them. When you mentioned the spitting up..this made me think of reflux. Has the baby been checked for that? Even if the baby does have reflux. it's really no big deal and your Doc can guide you with how to feed a baby with that sort of condition. Also, Do you have a La Leche League in your area? If so contact them they are very helpful for first time breast feeding moms. Good luck. Enjoy your new little one.

 

AP:)

[blind_otter]

There is a fantabulous book called "The Nursing Mother's Companion" that is distributed by La Leche League that has pretty much the answer to every BFing question you could have.

 

The no poops thing can be normal, BUT when the baby does poo, it MUST be --- excessive. My son will go 3-4 days sometimes without pooing, but when it happens, it is a poo explosion and no diaper created can hold it all in. If she is pooing rarely and not all that much, I would be concerned about supply issues.

 

From what I have learned at LLL (la leche league - a BFing moms support group), the cardinal rule is to feed on demand. That way your milk supply evens out to be able to feed your child as they need it, and you stop having engorgement issues. My boobs rarely get engorged.

 

Here's the thing about growth spurts - they can cause a fussy baby, sure, but IME the baby will nurse more often. Some babes, once they get big enough, becomes very efficient nursers - my son is a "10 minutes, tops" kind of nurser. He only nurses for long stretches at night when he's asleep.

 

She could have colic, too - which from what I understand has no clear cause. Some say gas, but x-rays of all babies, colic or no, reveal a lot of gas up in there.

 

This is just a very fussy, needy time for babies (in my limited experience, though I have 6 nieces and nephews, this is my first baby - but I go to a mom's group once a week and to LLL meetings monthly) - I ended up wearing my son in a moby almost all the time, and I held him constantly.

 

Some babies do like swings or bouncy seats. Mine didn't, until he was about 10 weeks old, but some babies love them from the get go.

 

Don't despair. Things will get better. You sound like a very attentive pops.

 

Oh, with the spit up - that's very common and most doctors say babies spit up less than you think - pour out a tablespoon of milk, it looks like a lot but the babe is getting more than you think.

[Kenyth]

I wouldn't listen to people who tell you to try and manipulate a newborns schedule. Newborns just need one thing, constant attention. They are incapable of something like manipulation, and are at the complete mercy of their biological needs as they occur. Ignoring a crying newborn baby only teaches them one thing, nobody cares. Let them sleep, hold and love them a lot, feed them a lot, and keep the diaper dry. If something is amiss, take them to the Doctor.

[blind_otter]

I wouldn't listen to people who tell you to try and manipulate a newborns schedule. Newborns just need one thing, constant attention. They are incapable of something like manipulation, and are at the complete mercy of their biological needs as they occur. Ignoring a crying newborn baby only teaches them one thing, nobody cares. Let them sleep, hold and love them a lot, feed them a lot, and keep the diaper dry. If something is amiss, take them to the Doctor.

 

I very much agree with this - developmentally speaking, infants are not capable of manipulation at this point in their brain development. Their neural pathways are far too chaotic to do anything beyond servicing instinctual necessities. This is a vulnerable period when infants are creating an attachment to a caregiver who consistently listens to them and attends to them, and the current rule of thumb is to always always always pick up your babies when she cries. Otherwise she will not be able to form an attachment to her caregivers because she will not trust you. This can lead to other issues later on in development.

[georgejungle]

Thanks all for your help. Been losing sleep with mama and

the baby, haven't had time to 'Loveshack' it.

 

*Baby has plenty of wet diapers, plenty. She is pooping now,

but is in a 'every other day' pooping routine right now. When she

does yeah, it's A LOT!

 

*She does have a lot of Gas lately.

 

*Her Fontanelle is a tad depressed, yes. Not tons, but enough to

feel when you rub your hand across. But she has a lot of Wet

Diapers, so i'm stumped.

 

*She fusses most on one breast that we think is flowing TOO

good for baby to handle, cuz she'll cough or gag when mama

starts feeding her on that one. I THINK my wife just realized that

she should be emptying one complete breast, before moving to

the next one. She was going 10 minutes on one, 10 minutes on the

other, that's what the Nurse told her at the Hospital.

 

It's tough because, we hear and read so many different ways

to care for baby. Our Doc said 'don't wake her to feed her

at night, let her wake on her own'. THEN, when she wasn't pooping

as often The Doc said, 'Feed Her More Often!'

 

She is longer and her stomach is getting a bit chubby and her arms

look a like they're getting a tiny bit rounder. She has gained about

a pound and a half in the past 2-3 weeks.

 

I appreciate your help, all. I'm a loving, caring Dad that wants

baby to do well. So does mom. We don't have Moms that we can

ask to help, they both live out of state. Most of our friends don't

have kids.

 

 

 

p.s.

The Nursing Mother's Companion

we just picked up a copy, thanks! We

were doing the What to Expect the First Year!

[NoIDidn't]

Does your doctor have a lactation consultant available? If not, contact one immediately. If you have any breastfeeding questions, most regular pediatricians are not trained on how to properly help. If you and your wife want a long breastfeeding relationship with the baby, a lactation consultant - a good one - is your best bet.

 

I looked to see if you could get PMs but you can't so I hope that LS Administration will forgive me for posting/advertising a website.

 

My baby just turned 7 months old and is BF. My previous child I BF'd for two years. I had big time problems getting both of them to the breast, but we did great once we finally got there. My babies typically don't latch on for about a month. Long story, but in the end, it works out for us.

 

It sounds like your baby is very gassy and in pain. Which is pretty normal. So I def. agree with burping frequently while letting the baby lead on that. My babies have never liked being burped in the middle of a feeding. They got very angry about that. LOL. My husband was in charge of burping. He had this really unique position he held them in that had them burping for what seemed like an hour. But it really helped make them comfortable.

 

I am far from an expert, but I don't think that your baby is going through a growth spurt. They typically don't happen before four weeks and you mentioned your issue happening before now and every four to five days. It might just be gas and her trying to make up for missed feedings due to sleeping through them.

 

Check out this website: http://www.kellymom.com

It was a lifesaver for me. And I think it will be for you two as well. Your baby should gain 4 to 7 ounces a week, so your baby sounds like she is gaining good.

 

If your wife thinks that she has a supply problem, have her search the web for a product called "More Milk". I found it on http://www.motherlove.com

 

On a funny note: I asked the doc about my little one not pooping for over a week. They told me "watch out, when he does". They were so right. Once he started, I changed his diaper thinking he was done. He filled four diapers in one sitting. He would go every 9 days initially. At least I was home when he did finally decide to poop.

 

Anyway, I hope I helped some. Congratulations on the new little one.

[blind_otter]

*She fusses most on one breast that we think is flowing TOO

good for baby to handle, cuz she'll cough or gag when mama

starts feeding her on that one. I THINK my wife just realized that

she should be emptying one complete breast, before moving to

the next one. She was going 10 minutes on one, 10 minutes on the

other, that's what the Nurse told her at the Hospital.

 

Oh my, I had that "problem" - I ended up expressing a bit of milk prior to feeding my son on that breast. The milk would come out so fast and excessively that he would choke on it, sometimes. You can either pump for a bit or you can hand express - "A Nursing Mother's Companion" has clear, easy instructions on how to hand express.

 

Also, my older sister told me yesterday that oatmeal was good for milk supply, and I got this tea called "Mother's Milk Tea" from the birth center where I delivered. I drink it every so often, I actually like the way it tastes now.