Author sibernox Posted November 8, 2008 Author Posted November 8, 2008 I just don't understand why she has to play games like this. Why say maybe, and then say yes, and then cancel? Just say no from the beginning and save us both the hassle! Thanks for answering. I guess I'll give it one more try. I don't know if it's gona work if she's flaky though.
Author sibernox Posted November 13, 2008 Author Posted November 13, 2008 Do you guys think I should call tomorrow, like I said I would? Or should I just wait? I don't want to push the issue too much. Man, this is so confusing. Like, I don't know what to do. Let's say she says yes. Do I kiss her on the first datE? Do I pay for her? There's just so many questions. I understand this is a deeper problem that can't just be adressed on a forum, but if you have any advice on how to get over this 'fear', I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks.
Author sibernox Posted November 14, 2008 Author Posted November 14, 2008 I'm sorry to be posting again. I realise it gets annoying. But I was supposed to call her today as you guys may know, and I chose not to. A couple of minutes ago she sent me a message saying "hey, i tried calling you but you didn't answer. I guess it's too late now for the show tonight, but if you still want do you wana go next week?" I didn't get a call or anything from her, so I don't know what she's saying. But anyways. I guess this means I should call her next week. Or should I call her tomorrow and tell her I'll give her a call next week? Thank you.
Author sibernox Posted November 14, 2008 Author Posted November 14, 2008 Yeah, I'll call her tomorrow to schedule something for next week. Thanks for your reply.
lonelybuthappy Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 Do you guys think I should call tomorrow, like I said I would? Or should I just wait? I don't want to push the issue too much. Man, this is so confusing. Like, I don't know what to do. Let's say she says yes. Do I kiss her on the first datE? Do I pay for her? There's just so many questions. I understand this is a deeper problem that can't just be adressed on a forum, but if you have any advice on how to get over this 'fear', I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks. Just relax. Don't expect too much, girls are unpredictable anyway (One day she will adore you, tomorrow will left you). Don't force kiss, she will smell despair... She'll let you know...Also, you'll see her actions in the future (will she cancel dates, will she call you often, etc...). In the meantime, invite some other girl(s) for a walk, drink, enjoy.
PrincessPeach Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 When you call, be sure to set up the date and time then, don't say you'll call next week and set it up. The purpose of your call is to agree upon a time to go to the show, so make sure to do that It's your choice whether or not you want to try to pay for her, but if she wants to pay for herself that isn't uncommon, even in romantic dating, so don't press the issue and let her pay for herself if she wishes. if you feel like kissing her, go for it. Just don't be nervous or hesitant about it because she will sense it and not want to kiss you. If you start thinking about kissing her, either go for it right then without thinking more about it or don't do it that night at all. The more you think about it the more it gets built up in your head and the more you are unlikely to do it or be nervous if you try. Above all, just relax and have fun. If you are having a good time it will rub off on her and she will be having a good time. If she has a good time she will associate that to spending time with you and will want to go out with you again.
Author sibernox Posted November 14, 2008 Author Posted November 14, 2008 Thanks for your replies. I just called her now, told her I got her message and that I'm free next week. Told her that Thursday would be good for me and she said she's free Thursday as well. I also said I'd call her wednesday to say when and where we should meet and whatnot. Do you think I did allright? Hopefully this time, there won't be any cancelling... Thanks again.
Author sibernox Posted November 17, 2008 Author Posted November 17, 2008 Ok, I know I'm annoying with all the questions but I have something else I need help with if anyone has a minute: A) Let's say we go out, we have fun, and at the end of the night we kiss. What do I do at the end? Like, do I tell her to call me or do I let her know I'll call her or what? B)Let's say I'm leaning in for the kiss, and she backs out or says something like "Sorry, I thought we were just going out as friends". What do I do at that point? Thanks again.
lonelybuthappy Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Ok, I know I'm annoying with all the questions but I have something else I need help with if anyone has a minute: A) Let's say we go out, we have fun, and at the end of the night we kiss. What do I do at the end? Like, do I tell her to call me or do I let her know I'll call her or what? B)Let's say I'm leaning in for the kiss, and she backs out or says something like "Sorry, I thought we were just going out as friends". What do I do at that point? Thanks again. A) Great, enjoy in kissing...Say good night, call her next day (how was her day, etc. short, max 2 minutes) B) If she doesn't touch you all the time, doesn't show interest, don't go for a kiss...Maybe she needs time, or she has other options. In that case don't feed her ego.
PrincessPeach Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Ok, I know I'm annoying with all the questions but I have something else I need help with if anyone has a minute: A) Let's say we go out, we have fun, and at the end of the night we kiss. What do I do at the end? Like, do I tell her to call me or do I let her know I'll call her or what? B)Let's say I'm leaning in for the kiss, and she backs out or says something like "Sorry, I thought we were just going out as friends". What do I do at that point? Thanks again. Let her know that you will call her. Do not be sepcific as to a time you will call her. This allows you flexibility to call when you feel like calling, which could be the next day or could be in a week. You never know when something might come up and if you say you'll call tomorrow and end up sick or really busy, then there is no harm done if you didn't specify tomorrow as your day to call. Also she will be wondering when you will call her, which gets her thinking about you. If she knows when to expect a call, there is not as much to wonder about. If she backs off from a kiss, don't let it bother you. Appear that you can be happy/confident either with or without that kiss. You having a good time for the night shouldn't depend on that and especially not appear that it would effect you enjoyment for the evening.
Author sibernox Posted November 20, 2008 Author Posted November 20, 2008 Thanks for all your replies. Appreciate it. I just found out that my mother needs the car for tomorrow, so we're gona have to bus it. I called her today, told her when and where to meet me. I just don't know where I should go for the kiss. I want it to be a quiet place and be comfortable for her. I know, I know...I'm putting too much pressure on myself. I guess that's just the way I am. Hopefully things work out. Thanks again.
PrincessPeach Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Just don't do it in an overly public place. There shouldn't have to be a concern of other people watching you both.
Author sibernox Posted November 21, 2008 Author Posted November 21, 2008 I just got back. Everything was going well, lots of laughing, lots of having fun. Went to the show, had supper after, then she's about to go into the train and I lean in to kiss her and she just backed away. I'm like "Come here" she goes "why" and I just go "I wana kiss you." and she just goes "No" And I ask why and she says "well like its the first time we meet each other alone, I dont understand you" and at that exact moment her train came and she had to run she just said "thanks for supper" and left quickly. I dont know what to do nw. It's not like I asked her to have sex with me. I dont know what I did wrong. What am I supposed to do now? Call her? Ask for a second chance? Any help please. Thanks
PrincessPeach Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 =( You probably did nothing wrong. Not everyone in the world will like us or do what we expect or want them to do. Don't ask for a second chance! You're still on your first chance. Don't bring up that she didn't kiss you when you talk to her next (in fact it's generally a good idea never to call a romantic interest out on something they didn't or forgot to do; and that applied to both genders). Go ahead and call her, but not right away. Allow a little bit of space so you don't seem overbearing. There's no rule for how long you should wait to call, just do it when it would feel like it's right to call or talk to her. See if she wants to go out again. She knows what your intentions are so if you get out again maybe she will have built more comfort for you and you can try the kiss again. If she doesn't want to start returning some sort of affection though, don't stick around too long hoping for more. At some point it will be time to move on and look for someone else. For every one we don't get we learn and get closer to the one we do get. Nothing is ever lost, if you don't succeed one time, use that time to learn from the experience for next time.
Author sibernox Posted November 21, 2008 Author Posted November 21, 2008 I think I'll call later on today and say this: "Hey, remember me? The guy from the train station last night!? Anyways, I had fun last night and I know you did too, so what do you say we do it again? Next week? You available?" You guys think that's good? Or should I apologize?
PrincessPeach Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Don't apologize, you have nothing you need to apologize for. You were being yourself, don't apologize for being yourself.
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