brightness Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 I recently started dating this man who is divorced with two kids. I didn't know he had kids until after our first date and I kind of freaked out (I am single, 31, and no kids). I told him that I wasn't sure how I felt about dating a guy with kids and didn't want to see him again. Well, a few weeks went by and I couldn't stop thinking about him. So, I sent him an email asking if we could see each other again. He agreed and we went out again to a football game. During the game, he tells me that his Dad just died in an accident two weeks ago. Obviously, I was shocked and sympathetic, but he seemed to be coping well. Anyways, we went out three more times (had a great time each time) and things started getting more physical with us. He asked me to come over this past Friday night and help hand out candy to the kids in his neighborhood (for Halloween). He said that he had a guest room and I could stay the night at his house (his kids were at their mom's) and we could spend all day Saturday together. I agreed and went over there on Friday evening. He made me dinner while I handout out candy to the kids. His ex wife and kids also showed up (he mentioned they would) bc they were going trick or treating. So I met them briefly and it went well. Throughout dinner, we talked about us getting physical and I said that in order for me to have sex with someone, I have to know that we're exclusive - meaning neither of us was sleeping with someone else. He said that he thought it was too soon for us to be exclusive. I said that was fine - but that we shouldn't have sex. Well, I had a few too many glasses of wine that night and we ended up sleeping together anyways (very stupid of me, I know). I got upset in the middle of the night (was very drunk) and said that I should leave. He didn't answer me so I just fell back asleep. The next morning, we had a long talk about things and he said that it bothered him that I wanted to leave in the middle of the night but he understood that I was freaked out bc we had sex. I apologized but said that I was upset that we had slept together and wasn't sure what to think about our situation (he told me on Friday night too that in his divorce, there is a clause the mentions that he can't have his girlfriend stay the night in his house when he was his kids (which is every other week) and that even includes vacations - although I could certainly go on vacations with them, just stay in a seperate room. This really bothered me at first so on Saturday I told him that I just needed to process things. We talked things out (basically agreed to take things slow) and then decided to go play golf that afternoon. He just had to get back before 5pm bc his kids were coming back over and having a slumber party with their friends at his place. Anyways, we went to play golf and I thought we had a really good time. Afterwards, when we said goodbye, he gave me a long hug and lots of kisses and said he would call me that night. He never called. It's been two days now and no word from him. I left him a message this morning saying that I was worried about him and hoped everything was ok. I then said that I was disappointed that he hadn't called, even if he didn't want to see me again, he should have just told me that. I said that I realized that his situation was less than ideal but that I thought he was a good person and all that mattered right now was that we enjoyed being together. I ended the message saying that I was sad that I hadn't heard from him and wished him the best. Still no word. I don't know what to think. He mentioned before that when he has his kids, he doesn't do a good job of knowing how to balance his time with them and the person he is dating (he said he'd call me before one day and I didn't hear from him until the next night - but we talked about this and I told him that I thought that was a bit disrespectul and he should try to keep his word or atleast send a text if he can't call). I don't know what to think. Did he just use me for sex? I am hurt and disappointed. Should I just let it go? Why would he not have the guts to tell me how he feels? How can he do that? Anyways, sorry for the long message. I just really need some insight here.
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