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Is Online Dating Doing More Harm Than Good?


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Posted
So, yes women get tons of emails, but 90% are from men they would never date. The other 9.999 % are players.. So have at it ladies.. Good luck..

either way, the women are making most of the choices, innit?

Posted
either way, the women are making most of the choices, innit?

 

True, but for what they are usually seeking, they are not finding..

 

Online is just as good for what men want, as lots of ladies just want sex.

Posted
True, but for what they are usually seeking, they are not finding..

someone who is getting 100 emails/day is going to have many more "choices" than someone getting 1 email/week

Posted
someone who is getting 100 emails/day is going to have many more "choices" than someone getting 1 email/week

 

True, lol..

 

But those 100 emails she receives are usually sent by dudes who sit down for a half hour, and send out emails to 20 different women a day, then forget what they even sent to whom. If she does reply within a few days, he is already on his third batch of new ones.

  • Author
Posted
I think she sees dating as a formal event.

 

Technically, meeting with friends is considered a date.

 

Eh...Tomato...tomaaaatoo...:)

Posted
for a few hours...felt it was very forced and fake and immediately deleted my profile...plus no one was hot.

Really? All that conclusions in just few hours?

Posted
True, but for what they are usually seeking, they are not finding..

 

Online is just as good for what men want, as lots of ladies just want sex.

Forest, are you a woman?

Posted
Plenty have said hello, and it was obvious that they didn't look at my profile. It was just point-and-click "Hello". Not much different from point-and-click delete.

I read and reread through every email, and 100s of pictured and pictureless profiles. I don't see why they can't do the same.

 

Well, if someone is just sending out emails based on the picture I am not sure what they are expecting. I do my initial screen via the pictures since physical attraction is important to me as well as fitness. But after I find someone that I find attractive I read their profile and only them do I decide if I want to contact them. As I said I want the whole package not just a pretty face.

 

True, but for what they are usually seeking, they are not finding..

 

Online is just as good for what men want, as lots of ladies just want sex.

 

I agree but women also will screen based on looks and then you have to show in your email that you have some substance. The key is making yourself stand out in the 100 emails they get. I think a lot of women just get frustrated with the experience and drop out, it requires too much work on their part.

  • Author
Posted
Well, if someone is just sending out emails based on the picture I am not sure what they are expecting. I do my initial screen via the pictures since physical attraction is important to me as well as fitness. But after I find someone that I find attractive I read their profile and only them do I decide if I want to contact them. As I said I want the whole package not just a pretty face.

 

 

 

I agree but women also will screen based on looks and then you have to show in your email that you have some substance. The key is making yourself stand out in the 100 emails they get. I think a lot of women just get frustrated with the experience and drop out, it requires too much work on their part.

 

You'd be suprised how women just drop your butt out of their inbox based solely on looks and completely overlook your well written email. And there's nothing much you can do about your looks, esp if you consider self at least somewhat attractive (thin, groomed, etc)

 

I've known decent LOOKING men to get deleted in a heartbeat too....just alot of these single women are looking for some Adonis with 6-pack abs, chiseled features, and a broad/square chin, etc.

 

What's ironic is...some of these women that seek such things aren't much to wrote home about themselves.....I mean, they are cute...but could shed a few pounds, etc....but they want something more than someone EQUAL to them in looks.

 

Myself, I typically find a woman that's EQUAL to me in ph ysical appearances...that for some unknown reason I assume....they'd be interested in me....because "We look the same" in a sense.....still no soap.

 

They are just influenced by the media , as alot of people are...I am not, I am realistic in what I seek.

 

Nothing can really be done about this, except to send a letter to the media telling to stop portraying that "all people should be hot and sexy"! lol

 

You can show ALL the substance you want in your emails...but that won't do you any good if you're not a hot, hunk of the year Model 2009. LOL

Posted

You can show ALL the substance you want in your emails...but that won't do you any good if you're not a hot, hunk of the year Model 2009. LOL

 

Well I would hardly classify myself as a hunk or a model and yet I have routinely gotten dates on Match. Maybe at my age the women are less demanding.

Posted
So, yes women get tons of emails, but 90% are from men they would never date. The other 9.999 % are players.. So have at it ladies.. Good luck..

 

In the end, this still says a few things about online dating:

 

Men or women who are very "eh", blah, ok-looking, and really don't spark any excitement should then do anything and everything to put their best foot forward. Online Dating is basically marketing. You need to have awesome pictures that make you out to be a cute guy or pretty girl, not ones that make you look like Average Joe or Jane, and paint a picture of yourself that will draw others to want to know you.

 

It's why there's so much lying online now. Too many men and women are just plain unattractive in the eyes of the masses and many never want to make small changes that would greatly improve both their exterior and interior. Forrest speaks the truth that the attractive male (married or not) can easily walk in and gain much more attention from most women...many of whom he probably wouldn't even look at in a bar. Likewise, an attractive, childless woman with a career and good head will get way more attention than the Average Jane that might be a single mother who works at Wal-Mart.

 

It's why the best hope for many is to walk away from the sites and just live full lives. People are attracted to others who have things going on with themselves. Despite that I have a GF, I am finding other women who were also into me simply because now I dress better, carry myself better, and do many interesting things. I'm not a chiseled adonis, but I also don't look like the slump or weirdo that usually makes women turn away. Pick up an issue of Details, GQ, read a bit, see how to dress and make yourself look and feel better. Go out and have fun, be open minded, try things...I guarantee someone will turn an eye to you.

 

I think people who sign up for sites should seriously first look through profiles and see if this site contains men or women they really want (and they seem to have profiles that say they would want you in return). If all you see are unattractive people (in your eyes), social rejects, etc...or even people you know will just delete your emails before you read them...then don't waste your time and money hoping someone will change.

 

If you happen to be the one where you think everyone will reject you, then stop complaining that the world is unfair. Ask members of the opposite sex the hard questions. "Why am I always rejected?" "What about me repels the opposite sex?" Don't get mad at the answers, but take it instead as possibilities for change.

 

Again, the people are the problem. I see more who complain about how unfair life is rather than try to IMPROVE on themselves. If everyone's rejecting you, then first look to see what you can improve on yourself to be more attractive to the opposite sex, then if you do that and nothing changes...complain away, but also live your life without depending on "finding someone" as a means to happiness.

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer: I do not think everyone who gets on dating sites is a "loser" or "messed up" in some way...so before I get angry replies thinking I'm talking about you personally...chill out.

Posted
In the end, this still says a few things about online dating:

 

Men or women who are very "eh", blah, ok-looking, and really don't spark any excitement should then do anything and everything to put their best foot forward. Online Dating is basically marketing. You need to have awesome pictures that make you out to be a cute guy or pretty girl, not ones that make you look like Average Joe or Jane, and paint a picture of yourself that will draw others to want to know you.

 

It's why there's so much lying online now. Too many men and women are just plain unattractive in the eyes of the masses and many never want to make small changes that would greatly improve both their exterior and interior. Forrest speaks the truth that the attractive male (married or not) can easily walk in and gain much more attention from most women...many of whom he probably wouldn't even look at in a bar. Likewise, an attractive, childless woman with a career and good head will get way more attention than the Average Jane that might be a single mother who works at Wal-Mart.

 

It's why the best hope for many is to walk away from the sites and just live full lives. People are attracted to others who have things going on with themselves. Despite that I have a GF, I am finding other women who were also into me simply because now I dress better, carry myself better, and do many interesting things. I'm not a chiseled adonis, but I also don't look like the slump or weirdo that usually makes women turn away. Pick up an issue of Details, GQ, read a bit, see how to dress and make yourself look and feel better. Go out and have fun, be open minded, try things...I guarantee someone will turn an eye to you.

 

I think people who sign up for sites should seriously first look through profiles and see if this site contains men or women they really want (and they seem to have profiles that say they would want you in return). If all you see are unattractive people (in your eyes), social rejects, etc...or even people you know will just delete your emails before you read them...then don't waste your time and money hoping someone will change.

 

If you happen to be the one where you think everyone will reject you, then stop complaining that the world is unfair. Ask members of the opposite sex the hard questions. "Why am I always rejected?" "What about me repels the opposite sex?" Don't get mad at the answers, but take it instead as possibilities for change.

 

Again, the people are the problem. I see more who complain about how unfair life is rather than try to IMPROVE on themselves. If everyone's rejecting you, then first look to see what you can improve on yourself to be more attractive to the opposite sex, then if you do that and nothing changes...complain away, but also live your life without depending on "finding someone" as a means to happiness.

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer: I do not think everyone who gets on dating sites is a "loser" or "messed up" in some way...so before I get angry replies thinking I'm talking about you personally...chill out.

 

I agree...I don't online date...I was on it for a few hours, I have browsed from time & time but I have never bothered with actually getting a date from it. I don't find anyone on it attractive. Now I am certainly not saying EVERYONE who dates online is ugly, but the ones I have seen are...and my personal feeling is honestly if someone is THAT hot, then people would just come up to them in person. I am a very attractive woman. I meet people on the train, standing on line at the post office....pretty much basically by solely exisiting. Those are the kinds of men I am looking for as well and honestly I don't think they are going to be found online.

Posted
I agree...I don't online date...I was on it for a few hours, I have browsed from time & time but I have never bothered with actually getting a date from it. I don't find anyone on it attractive. Now I am certainly not saying EVERYONE who dates online is ugly, but the ones I have seen are...and my personal feeling is honestly if someone is THAT hot, then people would just come up to them in person. I am a very attractive woman. I meet people on the train, standing on line at the post office....pretty much basically by solely exisiting. Those are the kinds of men I am looking for as well and honestly I don't think they are going to be found online.

So I guess good looks was the only thing you were looking for. Well, I'm also a very attractive woman who would rather NOT be approached in public and random places like trains or post offices. I prefer meeting men in a more formal environment, online being one of them. I like taking my time to know what they are all about before engaging in any conversation with them. So yes, I'm THAT hot, and have people come up to me in public but I never entertain some random guy on the street trying to talk to me. It simply doesn't feel comfortable at all for me.

 

In the end, what makes some people prefer online and some real life dating is not because they're hot or not. It's about what they feel most comfortable with; what works best their personality and their life style.

  • Author
Posted
So I guess good looks was the only thing you were looking for. Well, I'm also a very attractive woman who would rather NOT be approached in public and random places like trains or post offices. I prefer meeting men in a more formal environment, online being one of them. I like taking my time to know what they are all about before engaging in any conversation with them. So yes, I'm THAT hot, and have people come up to me in public but I never entertain some random guy on the street trying to talk to me. It simply doesn't feel comfortable at all for me.

 

In the end, what makes some people prefer online and some real life dating is not because they're hot or not. It's about what they feel most comfortable with; what works best their personality and their life style.

 

I would say online is pretty informal as meeting someone in public.

  • Author
Posted
Well I would hardly classify myself as a hunk or a model and yet I have routinely gotten dates on Match. Maybe at my age the women are less demanding.

 

Might be the location...as far as the age thing...as people get older, they lessen they loosen up a bit on their unrealistic expectations

  • Author
Posted

Also, with online dating, there's no fun in it, as with the spontaneaty of meeting someone in person out in public like a bookstore or what have you.

  • Author
Posted
I'm THAT hot, and have people come up to me in public but I never entertain some random guy on the street trying to talk to me.

 

I bet if you were attracted to him, you would. lol!

Posted
I bet if you were attracted to him, you would. lol!

I do not talk to random people in public, period.

Posted
Also, with online dating, there's no fun in it, as with the spontaneaty of meeting someone in person out in public like a bookstore or what have you.
Online dating is more like a choir. Lots of effort, and minimal, if any, response.
  • Author
Posted
I do not talk to random people in public, period.

 

Do you have friends?

Posted

 

I bet if you were attracted to him, you would. lol!

 

Word- it's actually a lot of fun...and if ya play cards right u get free stuff too. I haven't had to pay for a drink ever ...I barely have to pay when I go out to eat.

Posted
I do not talk to random people in public, period.

 

You have to hide behind a computer to talk to people? lol Not sure if that is very healthy.

Posted

I have decided that I will only talk to the people I know or the ones I'm introduced to, in real life. I hate talking to random people. Judge it whichever way you like, I don't really care.:)

Posted
Word- it's actually a lot of fun...and if ya play cards right u get free stuff too. I haven't had to pay for a drink ever ...I barely have to pay when I go out to eat.

:confused::rolleyes:

 

I suppose this is healthy, isn't it, Forest?

  • Author
Posted

 

Word- it's actually a lot of fun...and if ya play cards right u get free stuff too. I haven't had to pay for a drink ever ...I barely have to pay when I go out to eat.

 

Not sure what you mean here.

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