Bells Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 I am noticing a trend of some people who tend to prefer online dating vs. meeting people face to face by chance in public. (not talking about bars or nightclubs here). I met a woman online sometime back that was a Christian woman who had, at one brief time that attended a few singles functions at the local church, I asked her if she still goes there, to the single functions, and she stated that she stopped going because the people at the singles events were socially awkward or just not all that physically appealing to her....and she found the online venue to be a better way to avoid that kind of thing. Hypothetical situation here: What's worse than having an unattractive man approach you at the refreshment table and you have to stand there and tolerate him trying to talk to you, when you COULD be at home and just hit a delete button, right? You can't do that in-person. So, I was wondering if this whole online thing is really doing us more harm than good? I mean, this is not just limited to online dating....I mean the use of technologies has really made things impersonal to us, these "Distancing" technologies are keeping everyone, well, at a distance and out of touch. Keeps things very impersonal and keeps us from getting close? All this texting, voicemail, etc. Heck the ironic thing is, we have all this technology and some people can't even return a phone call or an email. lol Anyone notice this kind of thing going on?
monkey00 Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 I do notice a growing trend of online daters. And technology does make things very impersonal. I've always been a traditional guy and was never a fan of using email or texting as it makes things impersonal. I'd always be the one to pick up the phone and call people. But I find myself slowly getting sucked in because everyone else is doing it. I'm even emailing/txting my landlord if stuff goes wrong and she does the same also. In a way if you don't keep up with the times, then you're an old fart. As for the online dating aspect, I think if anything people take it for granted, abuse the fact that they think they have options, and get pickier in the process. I also think it's harder to develop chemistry with someone you meet online first VS having met in person first. But I don't think we should allow technology to be our achilles heel. It's beneficial for humanity if used in conjunction with old fashioned ways. If anything online dating only increases one's opportunity to meet others, especially if someone's always trapped at work.
Author Bells Posted November 3, 2008 Author Posted November 3, 2008 I do notice a growing trend of online daters. And technology does make things very impersonal. I've always been a traditional guy and was never a fan of using email or texting as it makes things impersonal. I'd always be the one to pick up the phone and call people. But I find myself slowly getting sucked in because everyone else is doing it. I'm even emailing/txting my landlord if stuff goes wrong and she does the same also. In a way if you don't keep up with the times, then you're an old fart. As for the online dating aspect, I think if anything people take it for granted, abuse the fact that they think they have options, and get pickier in the process. I also think it's harder to develop chemistry with someone you meet online first VS having met in person first. But I don't think we should allow technology to be our achilles heel. It's beneficial for humanity if used in conjunction with old fashioned ways. If anything online dating only increases one's opportunity to meet others, especially if someone's always trapped at work. Right...but if you're always trapped at work, how will you have time to date the person exclusively once you meetup with them. I don't know if you've ever noticed these Professional Matchmaking Consultants, they advertise for those who have no time to go out and meet people....it's very highly priced, and is geared towards the professionals such as Doctors and Lawyers, CEO's , etc. For those who don't have the time I get a kick out of those online personal ads where they state "Chemistry is a MUST!" , I can't see how one can establish that chemistry if they never meet in person. Sometimes people get replys saying, "Sorry, but there's no chemistry" lol
Vertex Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 It's just a matter of how you use online dating. I met my first serious girlfriend online (not on a dating site, but on a hobby forum). We just naturally started chatting it up via instant messenger for about a month. We had a ton of fun talking to one another... it got to the point where we started talking on the phone here and there. When we finally took things to meeting in person, we already knew a lot about each other. It was a lot easier to transition into things because we were already used to conversing, and so there was already an established closeness. For me, getting to know someone online is helpful. I have a hard time relaxing around new people, so talking online is a good way to get to know someone without worrying about social awkwardness. When you finally meet in person, you aren't just going into it blindly. Things feel more natural. Furthermore, technology is starting to kill information asymmetry over time. Dating pools are huge, and sometimes we may miss out on something amazing if we fail to look outside our own backyards. So far, we're not quite there yet with respect to personality and profile transparency. There are a lot of misleading profiles where we don't necessarily know what we're going to get until we start talking to them. However, I think there are some definite advantages to meeting someone online first.
monkey00 Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 It's just a matter of how you use online dating. I met my first serious girlfriend online (not on a dating site, but on a hobby forum). We just naturally started chatting it up via instant messenger for about a month. We had a ton of fun talking to one another... it got to the point where we started talking on the phone here and there. When we finally took things to meeting in person, we already knew a lot about each other. It was a lot easier to transition into things because we were already used to conversing, and so there was already an established closeness. That's true, it works both ways. I've heard stories of people having gone through that only to find lacking chemistry in person when they do finally meet. But speaking on behalf of my own online experiences. Half the girls I've met were more interested in the date or the idea of having said they went out with a guy than they were truly interested in getting to know me. However, I think there are some definite advantages to meeting someone online first. Talk about your secret internet fatty. The one with the headshot and no body..lol.
Vertex Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Well that's what I mean about information asymmetry. Ideally, we'd all like to know what we're getting when we look at an online profile. However, it's just not always going to happen that way. Usually weird/dodgy shots are hiding something. As for the meeting in person thing, I think it depends on what kind of relationship you form with that person beforehand. In my case, there was overwhelmingly obvious interest on both sides. We shared very personal stories, would talk for hours on the phone (even had phone sex), shared a very similar sense of humor... basically, we both had a pretty good idea as to what we were going to get in person. We ended up moving basically a base or two a day, and I lost my virginity to this girl after like 3 days. We made out heavily the night of my arrival... haha. I definitely believe online meeting can work if you stick with it long enough to develop a strong connection first beyond reasonable doubt.
Meaplus3 Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 I am noticing a trend of some people who tend to prefer online dating vs. meeting people face to face by chance in public. (not talking about bars or nightclubs here). I met a woman online sometime back that was a Christian woman who had, at one brief time that attended a few singles functions at the local church, I asked her if she still goes there, to the single functions, and she stated that she stopped going because the people at the singles events were socially awkward or just not all that physically appealing to her....and she found the online venue to be a better way to avoid that kind of thing. Hypothetical situation here: What's worse than having an unattractive man approach you at the refreshment table and you have to stand there and tolerate him trying to talk to you, when you COULD be at home and just hit a delete button, right? You can't do that in-person. So, I was wondering if this whole online thing is really doing us more harm than good? I mean, this is not just limited to online dating....I mean the use of technologies has really made things impersonal to us, these "Distancing" technologies are keeping everyone, well, at a distance and out of touch. Keeps things very impersonal and keeps us from getting close? All this texting, voicemail, etc. Heck the ironic thing is, we have all this technology and some people can't even return a phone call or an email. lol Anyone notice this kind of thing going on? I happen to know quite a few people who have turned to online dating so I would have to say it's become rather popular. I think the most important thing to remember with this type of dating is you really never know who is on the other end of the computer and should be very cautious about that. Also, if your writing back and forth I believe it's important to meet sooner than later. Because the longer you wait the less likely it is that an actual in person meeting is going to happen and it that were to happen than it can just turn out to be a big waste of time and someones feelings are going to get hurt. So I think there is a harmful side to online dating but, if done right and with the right amount of caution it can have a good outcome. AP:)
Author Bells Posted November 3, 2008 Author Posted November 3, 2008 I happen to know quite a few people who have turned to online dating so I would have to say it's become rather popular. I think the most important thing to remember with this type of dating is you really never know who is on the other end of the computer and should be very cautious about that. Also, if your writing back and forth I believe it's important to meet sooner than later. Because the longer you wait the less likely it is that an actual in person meeting is going to happen and it that were to happen than it can just turn out to be a big waste of time and someones feelings are going to get hurt. So I think there is a harmful side to online dating but, if done right and with the right amount of caution it can have a good outcome. AP:) I was wondering, I have noticed that alot of women (through these dating forums and other mess. boards as well) Seem to get annoyed when men approach them in public...be it bookstores, grocery stores, etc. They claim to be in the stores, trying to get some shopping done and get out of there....that "this isn't social time" nor "a pick up joint." Personally, I think they are shooting themselves in their foot by doing this....also sounds like sour grapes or just bad attitude. However , they will run home in the saftey of their own den and flirt back and forth all the time with men online. I could be wrong, but this is what I am thinking is occuring behind closed doors when some single women avoid men in public?
Meaplus3 Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 I was wondering, I have noticed that alot of women (through these dating forums and other mess. boards as well) Seem to get annoyed when men approach them in public...be it bookstores, grocery stores, etc. They claim to be in the stores, trying to get some shopping done and get out of there....that "this isn't social time" nor "a pick up joint." Personally, I think they are shooting themselves in their foot by doing this....also sounds like sour grapes or just bad attitude. However , they will run home in the saftey of their own den and flirt back and forth all the time with men online. I could be wrong, but this is what I am thinking is occuring behind closed doors when some single women avoid men in public? They claim to be in the stores, trying to get some shopping done and get out of there....that "this isn't social time" nor "a pick up joint." Perhaps it's the guys approach. Have they mentioned in what sort of way the man try's to pick them up?? Becuase I think that's important. For example if I was in the Grocery store and a guy nice looking guy approached me and asked me a question about a certain type of meat and how to cook it? I'd be flattered and more than happy to answer his question. If that was his way of picking me up I'd be ok with that. Now if some nice looking dude just sat down next to me in a book store and said "Hey sweet pea wanna go out with me"? It would be a big turn off and I would get up and walk away quick. AP:)
Author Bells Posted November 3, 2008 Author Posted November 3, 2008 They claim to be in the stores, trying to get some shopping done and get out of there....that "this isn't social time" nor "a pick up joint." Perhaps it's the guys approach. Have they mentioned in what sort of way the man try's to pick them up?? Becuase I think that's important. For example if I was in the Grocery store and a guy nice looking guy approached me and asked me a question about a certain type of meat and how to cook it? I'd be flattered and more than happy to answer his question. If that was his way of picking me up I'd be ok with that. Now if some nice looking dude just sat down next to me in a book store and said "Hey sweet pea wanna go out with me"? It would be a big turn off and I would get up and walk away quick. AP:) Actually, the manner in which they were approached...was irrelevant....they were annoyed no matter how the man approached...the simple fact that they were approached...just simply annoyed them.
D-Jam Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 I think the problem isn't so much the system, but the people who use it. From listening to the complaints of both men and women who use online dating sites, the two thing I notice in common with both men and women is that They all seem to be just plain hard up to have ANYONE. They're more out for a warm body to enjoy some semblence of that "touchy-feely" relationship happiness that they go over match, yahoo, pof, etc. all looking to find anyone that will volunteer to be their warm body. Many now will lie and do whatever they can to basically get RESULTS over finding the ideal match. Hence why so many men and women lie about information, photos, and other things when it comes to online dating. One could ask how these people could fathom starting a relationship based on lies, but in their eyes they just want the warm body next to them. They really don't care what falsehoods they've spread as long as they get someone.Many others are totally on the defense. They sign up because they want to meet people and hopefully find a mate, but they spend more time trying to ward off everyone as opposed to meeting people. These are the ones with the laundry lists, the "SICK OF THE GAMES" or "SICK OF THE LIARS" profiles. The ones who write their profiles up in some insane essay of how this person needs to feel chemistry based on a photo and an email, and yet this same person will be on said dating sites for years...still never finding a mate. That or they are ever so ready on the delete account button when the first sign of trouble occurs. These men and women are so much more afraid of ending up with an Average Joe or Jane, or of feeling like they settled in life, or of waking up and suddenly finding that they aren't a perfect 10 and there is no perfect 10 person out there that will date them. They came in with very high expectations and a lot of fear, and thus push everyone away masking said fear as "I will never settle in life". Plus they also fear their peers...so they keep an inner battle going on "dating sites are for losers" VS "I'm so lonely and sick of the bars" I personally think the best success stories on meeting online happened when it was more like the hobby forum example...or two people just happened to start chatting in a chat room, personal chat happens over the course of weeks to months, and they decide to meet in person. When it wasn't from some site where they post photos and try to illustrate why someone should email them in a profile of sorts. The problem is the people who use the sites. They are a mix of those just desperate for a SO no matter who it is, and those who play the game of wanting someone in their life, but will work hard to make it seem like they don't. Too much desperation and insecurity, plus too many who overprice themselves (men and women) and thus many of the actual Average Joes and Janes are passed up as both genders hope for a Mary Model, Adam Athlete, or Richie Rich to come along. This is why I tell all the Average Joes and Janes who really want to find someone: Determine why you want someone. Is it you're seeking love? Or just anyone to play the role of SO? Are you more in love with the idea of having someone, or with a particular person?Go where you'll meet like-minded folk. Stay off the matches and eharmonies. Try meetups, social clubs, etc. Places where you can end up in a conversation with someone over a like-minded interest and possibly have chemistry. Also stay away from anything that's "for singles". Be picky on the things you attend, like if the meetups are all full of people outside of your age range and/or married people...but stay away from "singles meetups". You'll just see an in-person rendition of what you deal with on the dating sites.Be open minded. Mary Model, Adam Athlete, and Richie Rich are the catches many hope to get, but bear in mind that they are few and rare...plus a lot fo them either will want someone of the same calibur of looks, wealth, or they might not even want to commit. You can walk into the meetup and think there are no cute guys or hot chicks...but then think about where you do find those. Think about how much you say "I'm sick of the bar scene" and then realize you might want to get to know these people before judging them all on first sight...just because they don't look like the "hot people" you really want. Also this goes back to point two about being picky about which meetups you go to. If you want to possibly meet a mate, then pick a meetup where you are interested in the subject, but it also contains people you find attractive.Build Social Capital. So you go to meetups and all the hot guys or hot women are spoken for. Or no one clicks with you and thus you only made friends. Make those friends. I met my current GF through a buddy's girlfriend. Some are going to say their friends are shallow and wouldn't want you. Some are selfish or defensive and thus won't intro you to their single friends. However, many others love to play matchmaker and will want to see their single friends find people. Bear in mind though that you still have to make a good impression. Being single isn't enough reason for a friend to help you out. More like single, lonely, yet you're charming, attractive, interesting, and just aren't meeting the right people.
Meaplus3 Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Actually, the manner in which they were approached...was irrelevant....they were annoyed no matter how the man approached...the simple fact that they were approached...just simply annoyed them. Well then perhaps they issues with their self confidence and hiding behind a computer screen feels more comfortable for those types of woman, I dunno? AP:)
D-Jam Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Actually, the manner in which they were approached...was irrelevant....they were annoyed no matter how the man approached...the simple fact that they were approached...just simply annoyed them. I think its one of four possibilities: She gets or has received a lot of unwanted attention from men. Come ons that were terrible, etc...and thus she gets annoyed when men approach because she feels it's probably yet another "hungry dog" looking for a piece of meat.She's full of herself and is annoyed when someone she's not attracted to approaches her. The "why couldn't it have been that cute guy over there??" mentality.She's royally scared. Maybe she got burned by some guy in the past that she met in a store or what not...and thus goes out with a big wall around her, deciding that any man who approaches is just as bad as the one guy in her past.She's a man-hating lesbian.
Vertex Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 D-Jam, I really enjoy your posts. It's always refreshing to read really insightful observations of patterns and commonalities when it comes to psychological and interpersonal matters. But I think you're definitely on the money. I'm not really sure how to even reply to that because it basically shotgunned most of the important points. I'd just like to further agree with the fact that I really think natural meeting is the best way to form a strong relationship. Whether it begins online or in person does not matter -- what is relevant is the ways in which you communicate information to one another. I feel like dating sites do a very poor job of this, mainly due to the overwhelming presence of people who engage in adverse selection and perpetuate information asymmetry. I've always found the notion of "intentional dating" to be a bit of a self-inhibiting concept. Meeting for the sole purpose of "dating" or "finding a mate" or "meeting up with other singles" seems to include a certain element of reactivity that defeats the whole purpose. "Dating" then begins to feel like some sort of interviewing process where there is pressure and misaligned incentives, coupled with potential changes in behavior as a result of simply knowing you're being "observed." When I meet someone naturally and develop a relationship from there, that initial reactivity and pressure is nonexistent. There is a higher degree of pure confidence and honesty in the way things are conducted, and I think you get a much clearer picture of the person you're interested in. Therefore, you pretty much kill off a large portion of the information asymmetry that plagues the online dating world. You also avoid contact with many who have misaligned incentives/different priorities or desperations. Your point about making friends is a good one -- the more people you meet, the more involved you will be in the lives of others. That usually includes going out with your friends to various events, meeting new people, etc. It's basically a self-perpetuating function that increases your chances of eventually meeting someone who is relationship material.
grogster Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 D-Jam, I really enjoy your posts. It's always refreshing to read really insightful observations of patterns and commonalities when it comes to psychological and interpersonal matters. But I think you're definitely on the money. I'm not really sure how to even reply to that because it basically shotgunned most of the important points. I'd just like to further agree with the fact that I really think natural meeting is the best way to form a strong relationship. Whether it begins online or in person does not matter -- what is relevant is the ways in which you communicate information to one another. I feel like dating sites do a very poor job of this, mainly due to the overwhelming presence of people who engage in adverse selection and perpetuate information asymmetry. I've always found the notion of "intentional dating" to be a bit of a self-inhibiting concept. Meeting for the sole purpose of "dating" or "finding a mate" or "meeting up with other singles" seems to include a certain element of reactivity that defeats the whole purpose. "Dating" then begins to feel like some sort of interviewing process where there is pressure and misaligned incentives, coupled with potential changes in behavior as a result of simply knowing you're being "observed." When I meet someone naturally and develop a relationship from there, that initial reactivity and pressure is nonexistent. There is a higher degree of pure confidence and honesty in the way things are conducted, and I think you get a much clearer picture of the person you're interested in. Therefore, you pretty much kill off a large portion of the information asymmetry that plagues the online dating world. You also avoid contact with many who have misaligned incentives/different priorities or desperations. Your point about making friends is a good one -- the more people you meet, the more involved you will be in the lives of others. That usually includes going out with your friends to various events, meeting new people, etc. It's basically a self-perpetuating function that increases your chances of eventually meeting someone who is relationship material. Great post, Vertext. As someone who was recently on Match for a few months, and went on a number of perfunctory dates, I know what you mean. I'm a middle aged professional who's not into the bar scene, whch skews young anyway. I'm not interested in young nymphs, and young nymphs are not interested in me. Call us even. On Match, I easily could have found a number of warm bodies and playmates. A Match date is a "relationship" interview--one that's artificially structured, strained and alienating. And profiles are relationship resumes.I found the whole online dating experience deflating,forced and cold. I've opted off Match, and I'm relying on the offline world to provide opportunities to meet smart, attractive middle aged women. Even though offline dating is more difficult, I prefer the natural growth and development of an offline relationship to the keyboard-enabled, job interview-based interactions of the online world. Better being alone, than forced marching in a parade of online dating applicants.
D-Jam Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Vertex hit it right on the point. My experiences with online dating wasn't all loads of women trying to get with me or anything. 99.9% of my emails ended up with no reply or anything. Even in the real world I was never the guy that set off women's hormones and made them want to be with me in some way. I was mostly passed over because I never could incite chemistry in a woman in the 10-60 min window of opportunity too many give. Pretty much all my exes were women who knew me over a long period of time and grew to love me because they got to know me. I think the real answer now is just to make yourself available to be met. Be it in the store, on the street, or join some social things. Too many seem to limit themselves to their small clique of friends, a few dating sites, and the bar scene...and then wonder why they can't find any quality people. The downer is too many just can't seem to figure that out.
torranceshipman Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Jeez, so much hostility! I think online dating is really cool - I met a long term boyf on there, and I also made a best friend on there (me and the guyhad no chemistry but everything in common and we;re the absolute best of friends to this day!). I've been on some really cool evenings out, and I'm now dating a really cute guy that I met on there. I just view it as one way of meeting people - there are lots of other ways too....and as for it being an online dating resume? Personaly I think thats great! If I really get on well with a guy chatting online, then we meet and if we dont have chemistry then no biggie. If we do, fab. I can tell a lot of time from what the guy says/how he says it if we'd be totally incompatible, which is also quite helpful. Now if I won the lottery, didnt have to work and vacationed, shopped and socialized all the time, then sure, no need for online dating, lol, but a little pesky thing called 'work' (and a lack of interest in hanging out in bars) pretty much gets in the way of the 'in person' stuff most of the time! And yes I do have lots of hobbies but I love enjoying those things for me and I do not generally want to use them to meet romantic partners.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 D-Jam, Grogster and Vertex- Thanks for the very thoughtful and insightful posts. It's great to know there are some "real men" out there- and yes, from these and other posts, I can tell you guys are the real deal I am also very turned off by online dating and the "resume/interview" aspect of it. It feels very unnatural and forced. Sometimes I feel like at my age (36 now!) online is the only way to meet people, but I don't want to do it. I met plenty of guys when I am out with my friends, but they are either cool, but too young for a relationship, or too douche-y. Everyone says to try doing things that align with your interests, but that has been a challenge for me so far. Some of my interests are solitary (reading, writing, watching old movies). i love to travel, but I don't want to meet a guy who lives half way around the world. I love to dine out/go out with my friends, but then I meet the young guys/douch-y guys. I work out, but usually solitary things like swimming. I don't know. It seems damn near impossible at this stage. I'm not ready to give up though!
Ruby Slippers Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 I've never met anyone through an online dating site, and I don't think I will. grogster describes the unpleasantness of it that I would expect quite well. I have never been into superficial entanglements, and I see no appeal to being one in a long line of vaguely suitable candidates for some random guy -- or conducting what I imagine would be an exhausting screening process of a long line of men, for that matter. Sounds like a huge waste of time and blowdrying my hair to me. lol Once I'm ready to consider a relationship again, I will start getting doing more social things that I enjoy doing, and will naturally meet men with the same interests.
forest123 Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 I do notice a growing trend of online daters. And technology does make things very impersonal. I've always been a traditional guy and was never a fan of using email or texting as it makes things impersonal. I'd always be the one to pick up the phone and call people. But I find myself slowly getting sucked in because everyone else is doing it. I'm even emailing/txting my landlord if stuff goes wrong and she does the same also. In a way if you don't keep up with the times, then you're an old fart. As for the online dating aspect, I think if anything people take it for granted, abuse the fact that they think they have options, and get pickier in the process. I also think it's harder to develop chemistry with someone you meet online first VS having met in person first. But I don't think we should allow technology to be our achilles heel. It's beneficial for humanity if used in conjunction with old fashioned ways. If anything online dating only increases one's opportunity to meet others, especially if someone's always trapped at work. Dude, you unknowingly hit on the biggest problem. It is not normal to "always be trapped at work", and have no life outside of it. Emailing and iming strangers is a sad way to meet the basic social needs we have. But maybe people are more comfortable to work their life away, because it is easy to go home and chat up strangers through a box. And as someone else said, good luck with a relationship if you are always working..
CommitmentPhobe Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 Vertex and D-Jam hit the nail right on the head, nice posts guys
flc Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 I just see online dating as another avenue to meet people. It may not be the best but it does provide opportunities. I am a 50yo business professional who works 10 hours a day and travels quite a bit for my job. My main hobby is cycling which is pretty male dominated. I have custody of my two kids so the opportunities for me to get out and meet people in public are somewhat limited. My experience with being online for about 7mos was meeting and dating 5 women. Three of them did not interest me after meeting them in person for coffee. One I had a short relationship for two months with and the third I have been with now for about 3 months and it is going well. So for me online dating worked well. It is not for everyone but it can work.
forest123 Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 Online dating also give people the illusion of thousands of compatible mates at their fingertips.. So, people tend to want other 2 levels above themselves. Example.. I am used to dating slender, attractive girls with no kids. In public I meet them no problem. Online, they are like superstars..They can be rare. If they use enough dating sites, they will get 100 emails a day from around the world, in their state, city, etc. Never mind that many of the emails they get might be from players, married men, or men that just want sex. They are flooded with attention, and it is hard to actually reach desirable women and be noticed.
pandagirl Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 I was mostly passed over because I never could incite chemistry in a woman in the 10-60 min window of opportunity too many give. Pretty much all my exes were women who knew me over a long period of time and grew to love me because they got to know me. This makes sense and is one of the big problems with online dating, methinks. Since you are going into meeting someone with the intention of dating, if you don't feel that "chemistry" right away, you can easily dismiss that person, without really getting to know them. I have been guilty of doing this, and have also been on the receiving end. In real life, you wouldn't make those snap decisions; you'd get to slowly know each other better. Hm. Why do I online dat again? That's it. I'm canceling my online dating profile now! haha.
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