Mary3 Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 That's the way it is with rebounds. They are generally very intense, very short-lived relationships. And very painful for the reboundee victim...Always be leary of quick : I love You's ....
Ocean-Blue Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 IMO, I agree. There's emotional transference from the ex to the new fixation, as if it's a continuation of the original relationship, to fix old wrongs be it a way to sit in the perceived power seat or a way to slowly wean themselves off. No matter what, it never addresses the original coping/breakup issues. And unfortunately, such rebounds end up being the bane of your existence, if you let it.
You'reasian Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 A quick question If you went on a first date with a guy and he spent alot of time talking about his ex who he broke up with 3 months ago after a 4 year relationship, what would you think? This happened to my friend yesterday and I see a huge red flag with it but I am quite cynical so I wanted to see what you guys think He even showed her pics of his ex on his phone! Bad form. That's a no-no in dating. The topic of ex-es should never come up early in dating.
Trialbyfire Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 And unfortunately, such rebounds end up being the bane of your existence, if you let it. Key words. They flame up and burn out just as quickly.
Author Lishy Posted November 10, 2008 Author Posted November 10, 2008 Wow I never thought of it that way, of course it is a transference of love I can tell she is being taken in by it though and all previous thoughts are out of the window. She knows what he is saying is wrong but is enjoying it! She makes it all ok by stating that he is an open person, hence the bad talk about the ex and the "I love yous" She showed me a text he sent her the other day stating that he was with friend who 'his ex' kept him away from - It seems he puts her down at every step I am watching him do this and watching my friend get caught up in it all! Not good
Ocean-Blue Posted November 10, 2008 Posted November 10, 2008 Lishy, if she wants to play in the mud, there's nothing much you can say to convince her otherwise. That's what friends are for. They douse you with warm water and embrace you with a fluffy towel, once you're ready to ditch the dirt.
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