Not ready for another relationship...yet so many opportunities

[alwayssme]

People must love HEARTBROKEN people!! Since I been single, almost all of my guy friends or whoever I meet wants a RELATIONSHIP, telling me how my ex is so dumb for letting me go and how they'll make me so happy and blah blah blah....I should be flattered (i guess?) but why is it that I'd rather be alone at home than being in thier company? It sounds so mean but honestly it depresses me to hear these things because they are not from him. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I just want to be on my own for once. I'm sure it's lonely but I can't trust anybody, don't really like people very much right now (lol) as I have experienced many many dissapointments lately. Is it normal to not want a relationship when you're heartbroken and still healing? Is it better to stay alone for awhile?

 

 

I feel betrayed and hurt and I'm not ready to deal with anybody at this moment........Kind of accepting the fact that I'm alone......

[Dmoney28]

hey,

its natrual to feel that way. You still have feelings for your ex. Its going to be a while...but you have to get over your ex. Then you have to reconnect with yourself. If not, those old feelings for your ex will RUIN your next relationship. Trust me. I wasnt completeltY over my first ex....which explains why im here on this site trying to get my last ex back. Thier memory if not resolved completely will haunt your next relationship. Trust me. In your head, you will be comparing, and you will be angry at the new guy because he dosent do X,Y or Z like your Ex, Its a powder keg waiting to go OFF. So just be single of a while......learn to enjoy it, You dont Need another person to validate your life.

 

Now those other guys .....sharks in the wateR that smell the blood. i call them vultures...they wait and watch...and when they spot a female "friend" in a bad emotional state, they flock out like the ravernous oppurnist they are...bevareful. Im not saying that none of them have good intentions for a relationship. BUT, a lot of guys are masters of word play and female thinking. They know how to mislead women into thinking they want a "relationship".....1 weeks, 3 dates and 5 condoms later......

 

"uh, yeah, we had fun, but this isnt exactly what type of deal i wanted...your great though, but i dont think its going to work out between you and me",.....and Boom goes the dynamite...he got his nookie...and you are left heart broken.

[lofi_tokyo]

I had a few guys, in the first week of my break-up, literally just call me up randomly and they started hanging out with me.

A few weeks in they were confessing their love. Some even flipped out at me for NOT seeing it sooner, for not feeling attached to them.

 

But... from the start I told them... no way. I repeated over and over "I am not ready for a relationship" and SOMEHOW they ignored all that and got attached.

 

 

Four guys. It was rough. They don't talk to me now... well one does, were cool, but the other 3? Totally upset at me for not wanting to date them. It embarrased me!

 

Anyways, my point is, its totally FINE now to be interested in dating right now. For me personally... well going on like, very very easy dates is okay. Like... ones where you just meet a guy, he asks you out, if its good or bad, who cares because youre having fun! As for moving into a meaningful relationship? Not ready, not wanting to.

 

I'm finally SINGLE! I'm gonna take my time, enjoy my life, get sexy, and someday I'll find the next guy I'm willing to date seriously. Maybe I'll bump into him tomorrow, but I doubt it, more than likely...... after the new year? Kinda sucky because its almost SKIING/SNOWBOARDING season!!! AHHHH!

[EmperorR]

ah I feel the same way, it seems whenever you want a relationship you can't find anyone good but when you don't there is like a lineup.

[Ruby Slippers]

I am in the same situation. Actually, my last boyfriend swooped in right after I broke up with someone, and though I resisted for a long time, he just kept pursuing me aggressively. As usually happens, several guys are after me again, now that I just broke up seven weeks ago, but this time I am firmly holding them back as friends only. And it feels pretty darn great! The couple that I have given my little speech to have treated me with respect and made their cute wistful comments about how the next guy I'm with is going to be very lucky. There's something very powerful about stating my intentions clearly and sticking to them, rather than letting myself be persuaded to go along with the man's plan.

 

It is 100% normal and healthy that you are taking some time to be self-reflective and self-protective and feel good about everything before you get involved again. I myself have committed to being single for at least one year after the breakup. It was hard at first -- lonely and scary -- but I am starting to hit my stride and feel good again. I think this year is going to be really, really good for me. It might be so good that I extend the single time.

[kizik]

I think that you're forgetting the fact that you're female. Male attention has nothing to do with whether you have a boyfriend, just broke up, or whatever. Guys wanting to date a hot little number like yourself is just an inevitability of life. There's nothing cosmic or weird about it.