cici99 Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 My boyfriend of three and a half years broke up with me two months ago. Our relationship wasn't working at the time, there was fighting and it had become pretty draining. We were still very much in love with each other and I was pretty sad about the whole thing. I decided to absolutely hold out from contacting him and to respect his decision to move on. A month went by and he called me. He left me a message and I called him back, sincerely happy to hear from and speak to him. We had a really nice conversation and he let me know that he really wanted to still be friends with me and that I should call him anytime. He also was calling me his pet name on the phone, which I thought was a bit odd. I let another month go by before I contacted him. I reached out to him with an email and from there we started conversing and made plans to meet up. There was some flirting going on so I was intrigued with what our meet up would bring. We met up and it was wonderful. We had a great time and all of the issues we were having before really were null. We both agreed they weren't meaningful for us anymore and that we had been in an odd pattern/power struggle that now seemed ridiculous. He told me that seeing me again, he just couldn't understand how it didn't work and that it was the same but different in the right ways. I could tell he was still into me when he started telling me he missed me a lot. I played it pretty cool, but was very happy about all of this. When the night was over, he gave me a ride home and we ended up kissing in the car. I KNEW I probably should leave it at that and shouldn't have him come up, but at the same time I really wanted him to... so he came up. We ended up having a crazy passionate night where we were confessing our love for each other, how much we missed each other and he told me how happy he was just to be with me. He also told me I really did it for him and when he saw me, he thought I looked like an angel. We had the sweetest night. We were very loving and passionate and I woke up to him giving me a back rub. It was all very sweet. He said goodbye by kissing me and saying I love you before leaving my place in the morning. I felt a little confused by the whole thing and I'm sure he feels the same way. It went from 0-60 so fast. He emailed me at work to say it was great seeing me and that he hoped I was having a good day. We emailed back and forth a few times and then I wrapped it up wishing him a good night. He wrote back asking me to do the same. This was on Wednesday. I have not heard from him since and I'm wondering if I really f-ed things up by sleeping with him too soon and making it too easy for him. I'm at a place where I love him and I don't want to play games, so I went with my feelings and I'm glad I got to experience our intense passion, but there is a looming Now What?? question. I'm not really sure how to proceed. I really want this relationship to work out and I don't want to sabotage a reconciliation any further. If you could send your thoughts, that would be great.
lofi_tokyo Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Have you not tried to contact him since Wednesday? Or did he say he would call?
Author cici99 Posted November 3, 2008 Author Posted November 3, 2008 NO. I haven't tried to contact him and he didn't say he would call. I feel that the ball is in his court since he is the one who broke up with me.
Geishawhelk Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 No contact means that. No Contact. The only way you two are going to get over this is to stay away from any intimacy. I'm at a place where I love him and I don't want to play games, Too late. You've done it. he's done it. In all likelihood, the reason you haven't heard from him is because he also knows it was a big mistake and it's best to back off. You're at a place where you love him. But you broke up. And that, unless he comes back with something different, is where it's going to stay. So unfortunately, you really should go back to square one, and re-establish No Contact. And this time - mean it.
NickP Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 wow tis is a tuff situation. ok i sorta agree w geisha but not entirely, bcos u don't know what exactly he's thinking at the moment. i mean, he could be feeling really uncertain about things between the two of u at this point too and that's why he's too scared to get in touch again. but maybe (and i say MAYBE) all the two of u need is to talk and get it all out about what the two of you want or what to expect from one another henceforth. obviously that conversation could either really make u happy, or really upset you i.e. the two of u cld realise that one night was a huge mistake,etcetc. so u shld b ready for both situations. so yea , if it were me i'd prob call him n find out wth is goin on b4 making a decision to get back to NC or not. if u do go back to NC tho, STICK TO IT!!! if u do get bak 2gether, make sure the prev issues are resolved..
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