wmast Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 This is the link to my original story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=164575 Ok, so I vowed NC but she contacted me via text saying she broke up with the guy 2 weeks ago. We talked over the phone, she said she misses what we had, she realized she made a mistake and that she wants my forgiveness. That was like my hundredth time hearing that so I definitely took it with a grain of salt. I told her to give herself some time to clear her mind so that she wouldn't be relationship hopping and then she should contact me so that we could talk. She sent me a text later that evening saying she was "ecstatic" about working things out with me and so was her family. I replied with a smiley face. Fast forward one week, she comes over to my place, we talk, then she uses my pc real quick then goes to make dinner. We had a great dinner, great talk and she left. Later that evening I went onto my Facebook to check something and I see that she had logged in. I recently started using Firefox so it stores alot of cookie info. To my knowledge she had deleted her Facebook. SOOO, I go and look up her page via search by email address and lo and behold she has a page! Not only that, it had pictures of her and the other guy still on there, it had "in a relationship" as her status and she was still in contact with him and his circle of friends. Talk about heart wrenching. I immediately call her and asked her about it and she said, "I just haven't taken anything off my page yet, it's not like I'm hiding anything. I'm really done with him". I know that's a lie. When she broke up with me, she took everything with regards to me & her off of her page and later deleted her page. She said she did all of that to get over me. Now to make matters worse, she tried to accuse ME of being insecure and talking to other girls and using her Facebook page to push her away so that I can talk to other girls. I figure this is just her guilty conscience trying to justify her actions. Needless to say, I'm going NC and staying here. I know I said that before but her contact got the best of me. She told me EXACTLY what I wanted to hear and I fell for it. I was warned. Many posters in the original thread warned me, said she was poison, said that she was lost and didn't know what she was doing. I failed to listen and I'm paying the price. Seeing pictures of her kissing that guy, hugging him... it's just so painful. I feel like burning my eyes out. I guess I deserve it for giving her the 3rd chance... She claims the guy is hurtful to her, he's a loser, he's no good for her, but yet she continues to wrong ME... She claims that I'm the love of her life and that we're destined to be together but then she does this to me? I feel almost like I have some sort of mental disability. The truth is staring me in the face and I fail to see it. This girl has some SERIOUS issues but I keep looking past it. I guess I'm holding onto the idea of the OLD her. Ugh, I feel so weak right now. I feel terrible about myself. How could I let her manipulate me like this? Oh well, back to the drawing board for me
carhill Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 No worries. You caught yourself. You're smarter now. Back to NC and I'll bet the detox period will be shorter. Hey, at least you didn't have sex with her. If you had, I slap you
Author wmast Posted November 3, 2008 Author Posted November 3, 2008 No worries. You caught yourself. You're smarter now. Back to NC and I'll bet the detox period will be shorter. Hey, at least you didn't have sex with her. If you had, I slap you Nah, no sex. Thank goodness! I'd really be hurting had I! Here's my question to you Carhill, you're a Loveshack vet. Why all the manipulation on her part? What does she benefit? I mean, she left me 5 months ago! Why not just stay with the new guy or find someone new altogether? Why keep coming in and out of my life? I'm pretty sure that in a month or two she'll be back. But this time I know what to do.
carhill Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Think of yourself as a bar. "Cheers", let's say. She shows up, anytime, and everyone (that's you) knows her name. You're familiar. She knows your mannerisms, your habits, what buttons to push to get what she wants from you. You're easy (relatively, compared to a stranger). From my readings, this is quite normal. It happened to me many times over the years and I had no clue I was being manipulated. At least now I lay down with complete knowledge
WiseOne1 Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 We have to have a retrial. In the case of "wmast's" ex... I find her guilty of 6 counts of perjury, 4 counts of deceiving, 9 counts of lieing and sentence her to the maximum of "LIFE" sentence of "No Contact", with being elgible for parole if defendant in serious about reconciliation. Court adjoined!
cashley Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Ahh the JOYS of Facebook, and what that 'thing'(FB) has done to many a couple... Shes lying about stuff, and deep down you KNOW it. I HOPE that next time shes feeling lonley and needs a crutch, you have moved on?? im a girl, im not like her, BUT I can see what shes doing...as been described, you are 'the familiar one' and probably a really 'good guy' too... A guy with a big heart and real love, and she sees this, and yet is searching for 'something' else, and has rejected your love, and you poor thing, are used everytime she feels threatened or lonley. Some people are just manipulative and nasty. Shes not behaving in a loving way. You are YOUNG. Live and learn...and next time a girl JERKS YOU AROUND, walk away, really WALK AWAY....the good ones will follow...
BCCA Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Actions always speak louder than words. She said she had all these feelings for you, then used YOUR pc to fiddle with her facebook (who knows what she did on there, honestly), and still has pics of her and this other guy up and is 'in a relationship'. If she was as done with him as she is claiming to be, the pics/status would have been changed immediately. I've had my ex change her profile minutes after she broke up with me, and I have to believe that most girls wouldnt break up with someone and leave pics of them up, and indicate that youre still together. Sounds to me like you had the right idea about relationship hoping. Shes probably making sure youre really going to take her back before she pulls the trigger on ending things with him. Youre both kind of backup plans. And you have no idea what shes telling this guy, so for all you know, shes telling him everything is just fine and hanging out with him when youre not looking. Its completely nonsensical to leave her status as in a relationship and have his pics up if shes no longer with him. No one does that, and the fact that she didnt immediately change it when you told her it bothered you is pretty telling as well. She didnt even hear you out, she went right to accusing you of being insecure (anyone would be, given the circumstances you described). Believe 10% of what she says and 100% of what she does.
MichiganMan222 Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 I had a Facebook moment tonight...after our break-up I deactivated my page....took her off prior, but not some of our mutual friends....well thinking it was harmless (no exposure to her and her new bf), I reactivate it....Why? Well because I was at my son's soccer practice and on a the next field, I see a woman that catches me eye. Her daughter is out there...so I go to the front desk and ask him what group is playing there and how often do they meet? He says they just started and will meet same time each week (WOOHOO!). So I want to find out more about her....does she have someone? Well so far...she has no rings on her fingers and has at least a 10 year old daughter (so age would be close). I ask them for a team roster hoping for last names so I can look them up on Facebook and hopefully find her....well since we have mutual friends, it 'suggests' people you might know....of course her bf's pic shows up and its her and him. UGH!!!!! But you know what? Considering the mission I was on...it didn't hurt so bad....anyway, I deactivated the account again and don't plan to activate it until I'm 100% over her. BEWARE OF FB AND MS!!!!!!! They can be GUTWRENCHERS!!!!!
northstar1 Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 I had a Facebook moment tonight...after our break-up I deactivated my page....took her off prior, but not some of our mutual friends....well thinking it was harmless (no exposure to her and her new bf), I reactivate it....Why? Well because I was at my son's soccer practice and on a the next field, I see a woman that catches me eye. Her daughter is out there...so I go to the front desk and ask him what group is playing there and how often do they meet? He says they just started and will meet same time each week (WOOHOO!). So I want to find out more about her....does she have someone? Well so far...she has no rings on her fingers and has at least a 10 year old daughter (so age would be close). I ask them for a team roster hoping for last names so I can look them up on Facebook and hopefully find her....well since we have mutual friends, it 'suggests' people you might know....of course her bf's pic shows up and its her and him. UGH!!!!! But you know what? Considering the mission I was on...it didn't hurt so bad....anyway, I deactivated the account again and don't plan to activate it until I'm 100% over her. BEWARE OF FB AND MS!!!!!!! They can be GUTWRENCHERS!!!!! So true, social network sites have made it far too easy to find out info either directly or through 3rd parties or friends. I've heard many a story where friends find out info about their ex's because mutual friends see updates and feel some need , whether innocent or not, about what the ex is up to.
cashley Posted November 4, 2008 Posted November 4, 2008 You wanna know whats even worse... MY ex was stringing me along, and left photos of me on his page....I had to ask them to be removed. He only did it because his new gf saw my message!!! some people... hows the 'wonderful' application...' friends for sale' .... even when you DELETE and BLOCK someone, they can still send you gifts!! I am having trouble with looking to see when my ex was last online... FACEBOOK sucks. For relationships, anyway.
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