loverich Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 OK I need some help. I met this guy about three months ago and we were both just looking for friends with benefits. So after being with each other a few times and getting to know each other, we have both fallen hard for each other...can say we are in love. So then, a couple of days after we realized this, he drops the bomb of the EX. He was with her for four years and lived with her for two. She broke up with him five months ago but kept his dog. He says that he kinda wants to get back together with her but also wants to be with me. I have tried to be supportive while he is working on figuring this out but seems like he doesn't want to lose either of us. He says if she knows he is with me, she will be gone forever. He thinks that if they get back together, me and him will still be friends but I told him that I couldn't be his friend after what we are feeling right now...it would be too hard. We both fell pretty hard very fast and I don't know what to do.It is still hard to believe. Should I wait, if so how long, he told me this a month ago? Or should I let him go? I am torn on what to do here!!! Help me someone!!!!!!!!!
pandagirl Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Oh dear, he says he is in love with you, but also says he still "kinda wants to get back together with her"? Sounds like this guy is majorly confused and doesn't know what he wants. Also, he is assuming that if he reconciles with his ex, that you will still be there for him. Doesn't sound right to me! Of course, you are entitles to do what you want, but I say leave him. If he truly wants you, and only you, he will realize this and come back. He is being honest with you, but it isn't fair to keep you in limbo like this.
Author loverich Posted November 3, 2008 Author Posted November 3, 2008 Neither of us were looking for a relationship but ended up falling for each other. I know he is confused about what he wants. He is scared of what will happen if we don't last. He is scared to lose her forever....and I don't wanna lose him forever. I am so torn. I do love him
stevie293 Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 I am in completely the same situation, and its awful! I dont want to lose her, but she has had messages from her ex after he found out she was with someone, we split up last week .. but since then have kept in constant touch, the main difference is though she's said there is no chance of them getting back together for whatever reasons. He's just messed her head up again, and its torn us apart .. but we still cant go a day or two without speaking to each other ... like your situation its crazy becase you think if they truly love us, then the answer should be simple ... I dont want to leave her alone in fear that I lose her, but Ive noticed that when I do leave her alone she gets in touch with me ... Anymore advice on this would be gr8
2sure Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 He has told you that if she knew about you, she wouldn't continue with him. So, you know about her but she doenst know about you. You are the secret. And he has openly discussed this with you. Further, he has told you that he would like to continue with you after getting back together with her. He cares about you both, but would like to have a public and private relationship with her being his girlfriend and you being his secret booty call. Because he cares about you, it would be upsetting to him if you were not ok with this. He doesnt sound confused about anything except how to figure out how to have his cake and eat it too.
Geishawhelk Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Bingo. Yes, what 2sure said. He's plnning on keeping you as a F**Kbuddy, whilst he also gets his ex- back. Not to mention the dog. How cosy for him. make a choice. Will you continue being a bit on the side, or will you demand he remain away from his ex? Either way, I think he's off over the horizon.
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