SM82 Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Hi everyone! Hooray for my first post! Here's the situation: Met a shy guy at work. He's adroable. We've been out three times, all three times I've done the asking. When we're together it's awesome-we tease eachother, try to throw food into eachother's mouths like high schoolers, purposely/accidentally bump into eachother, don't move our legs when they touch under the table, etc. We have those long glances where we're both smiling at eachother...the kind that makes your stomach do flip flops. So, like I've said, we've been out three times which is great but I'm kind of ready for him to ask ME out. I'm quite sure he likes me and I sure am giving him all the signs I'm interested, but I don't want to seem too overbearing and ask him out again...and again. Sooooooo shy guys....what do I do? Just keep hanging out and flirting at work? Should I just keep asking him out? Should I "jokingly" tell him that next time we hang out he needs to ask? I'm also dying to kiss him....but I'll solve this issue first. Thanks guys!!!
Vertex Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 If you've asked him out a few times, I think that's a pretty clear signal -- even to me, and I'm pretty shy. I'd try to hint that you'd like for him to ask you out sometime. *shrug*
Author SM82 Posted November 3, 2008 Author Posted November 3, 2008 Thanks for your reply! I will try just that
Vertex Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Fsck my life. lol. I need to find someone who can dig a shy guy.
MrMe Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Should I "jokingly" tell him that next time we hang out he needs to ask? Yes! And even if he doesn't, dont put too much weight into it. I'm EXTREMELY shy, unless I'm around someone I've known for years. So even if you hinted to me that you wanted me to ask you out, I may still chicken out. What can I say, I'm a coward sometimes.
joshaz Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Fsck my life. lol. I need to find someone who can dig a shy guy. I'm really quite certain that they don't in-fact exist. And this is a post designed just to get our hopes up.
BCCA Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 If you want to go out again, there is nothing wrong with asking. I do think it might help things out if you made a joke about him needing to ask you next time, because you're basically telling him you're going to say yes, and saving him the fear of rejection. Another thing you might try is making leading questions, such as asking what he's doing this weekend, if he's seen a movie or eaten at a certain resturant. That way, you're making it really easy for him.
Author SM82 Posted November 3, 2008 Author Posted November 3, 2008 I'm really quite certain that they don't in-fact exist. And this is a post designed just to get our hopes up. Awww! lol I exist! I have always been attracted to shy guys which is odd because I'm a very un-shy girl!
Suiyobi Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Awww! lol I exist! I have always been attracted to shy guys which is odd because I'm a very un-shy girl! Damn where were you in my life when I was still shy? Anyway, you've gotten the answers that you were looking for. Now go for it.
Harodan Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 First of all, you did an awesome thing in asking him out those three times. Him going on dates with you is going to build his self esteem. Well... I am somewhat of a shy guy, but only with girls I really like, ones that really impress me. Well... Back in High School, there was a girl who clearly liked me. She dropped lots of hints. I didn't realize how she felt until I had already left for college, some two to three years after I got to know her. I was an idiot for not seeing it sooner, and when I saw it, I realized how I felt towards her- but it was too late. Sometimes your hints will need to be painfully obvious, but don't worry. He will come through eventually.
Author SM82 Posted November 3, 2008 Author Posted November 3, 2008 Thanks everyone for your replies....I did talk to him today. The ending wasn't quite what I hoped for. I told him that I really enjoy spending time with him but wasn't sure we could continue to hang out because all I can think about is kissing him. (I had it worded better than that in my head, but that's what came out of my mouth) He then said he was flattered but wants to stay friends for now and still wants to hang out because I'm "awesome". I'm really baffled. ALL signs were pointing to "yes! He likes you!" so I'm more puzzled than anything. I'm sure the feeling of being pissed off will come later. So, there ya have it. Thanks again for your replies. Sandy
kizik Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 What is wrong with you? You sabotaged! But who cares, he's gay.
Author SM82 Posted November 3, 2008 Author Posted November 3, 2008 O.O Whaaaaaaaaaat. Haha! That's what I was thinking
Taramere Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 purposely/accidentally bump into eachother, don't move our legs when they touch under the table, etc. We have those long glances where we're both smiling at eachother...the kind that makes your stomach do flip flops. I do all this with my very good friend. My very good.... He then said he was flattered but wants to stay friends for now ...gay, male friend. ...still wants to hang out because I'm "awesome". Take him up on it. You'll get many of the perks of having a boyfriend, and you'll avoid lockjaw.
joshaz Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Dangit... That's not going to help the shy guy reputation... Anyways... Sandy, how YOU doin`?
The Seeker Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Wow, that is pretty odd. Well, I think you did the right thing. I am an extremely shy guy and that's what I would have recommended you do. Hell, right now I am being painfully shy with a girl I used to date in college ... I'm hopeless, lol.
Dark-N-Romantic Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 It does not sound like a flat out rejection. Maybe for know it is wisest to be friends. See what he is really like. Talk to him about things like girls and his ideas about what he is looking for and stuff like that. Also get to see him in his true environment to see if he is worth putting off other guys for a little bit. But, DON'T put your life on hold too long and miss out on someone else who may be more than willing to be with you. DNR
norajane Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Thanks everyone for your replies....I did talk to him today. The ending wasn't quite what I hoped for. I told him that I really enjoy spending time with him but wasn't sure we could continue to hang out because all I can think about is kissing him. (I had it worded better than that in my head, but that's what came out of my mouth) He then said he was flattered but wants to stay friends for now and still wants to hang out because I'm "awesome". I'm really baffled. ALL signs were pointing to "yes! He likes you!" so I'm more puzzled than anything. I'm sure the feeling of being pissed off will come later. So, there ya have it. Thanks again for your replies. Sandy What made you think he was shy in the first place? You asked him out three times without reciprocation - that would have led me to believe he was not interested rather than shy.
Author SM82 Posted November 3, 2008 Author Posted November 3, 2008 Take him up on it. You'll get many of the perks of having a boyfriend, and you'll avoid lockjaw. Haha! True! Dangit... That's not going to help the shy guy reputation... Anyways... Sandy, how YOU doin`? lol-I'm doing alright...how YOU doin? It does not sound like a flat out rejection. Maybe for know it is wisest to be friends. See what he is really like. Talk to him about things like girls and his ideas about what he is looking for and stuff like that. Also get to see him in his true environment to see if he is worth putting off other guys for a little bit. But, DON'T put your life on hold too long and miss out on someone else who may be more than willing to be with you. DNR Thanks for the reminder of not putting my life on hold...I really do like him but this was a good reminder. Thank you! What made you think he was shy in the first place? You asked him out three times without reciprocation - that would have led me to believe he was not interested rather than shy. He's said himself he's shy and, well, he's just shy and awkward. I'm sure you'd agree if you met him
norajane Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 Date other people. You might meet someone who is interested in you, or he might realize that he's going to lose you unless he acts, or maybe he'll be cool with it because he's really gay. Either way, I wouldn't hang out with him. If you're wanting to kiss him all the time, you're just torturing yourself and not allowing yourself to move on.
Author SM82 Posted November 3, 2008 Author Posted November 3, 2008 Date other people. You might meet someone who is interested in you, or he might realize that he's going to lose you unless he acts, or maybe he'll be cool with it because he's really gay. Either way, I wouldn't hang out with him. If you're wanting to kiss him all the time, you're just torturing yourself and not allowing yourself to move on. You couldn't be more right about hanging out with him and having it be torture. I'm so glad you mentioned that.
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