alwayssme Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 When he broke up with me the first time, he came back saying he missed me and would never do this to me again. I cried back then too but when he showed up at my house, I felt like I was in a movie and all those tears I had cried had been worth it........then he broke my heart AGAIN....but now he isn't coming back.....and it hurts because for the longest I wished I could hear him say those words again.....I am jealous of myself the first time.......as weird as that sounds......but now it's hopeless.....i KNOW we could make it work but the problem is he DOESN'T WANT TO....so i finally let go........but everytime i remember his love for the past 2 years....i wonder how could he possibly change so drastically? it makes no sense.....it's almost as though he wants to erase me out of his memory...last time we talked he said "i WANT to move on"....he has already moved on but whenever he would see me and get "confused"....instead of working towards making this better, he was working towards breaking it even more.......it hurts akjdhsdjdfgjfdg......it will get better someday
lofi_tokyo Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 Oh MAN how I wish I could have dealt with this break up the way my ex and I first did... We split for like a month - just graduated highschool, and were silly, who knows! But yeah. He said he wanted to break up. I was like "okay". Cried for 5 minutes (I timed it) then stopped. I said to myself "Okay Lauren. You're not gonna let this guy hurt you like Patrick did (my ex-ex). You are way better off." I legitimately got over the guy. Then a month later he says "I miss you", him and I met up, hooked up, and then I was kinda like... still not caring! I told people we were at best friends with benefits, and he got upset, so I was like "okay fine were dating". Hahaha. Oh God. It sounds so immature now. I remember (we were in a LDR), when I'd go and visit and like, by the last day I'd just want him OFF me. Like, 4-5 days of pure him, bleugh! Its actually insane when I think about it. I was completely like, all over him but at the same time very whateverish about him! I guess somewhere in the next year and a half I completely flip flopped and was TOO attached. God only knows. Sometimes, just sometimes, I love myself. Namely, the crazy crazy girl I was. Don't know if I wanna go back to that, but it sure as hell makes me smile. Past me, give me strength!
lofi_tokyo Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 Oh man Always. Thank you for posting this thread. I understand you are in pain right now, and in a lot of ways I understand the whole "jealous of your past self" thing. But um... oddly enough this post, forcing me to reflect on my past relationship, really really makes me smile. I'm going to try from now on to be more um... like my old self. I have no idea how the **** I shut of my emotions towards my ex like that, but damn. I was pretty sweet. Time to try and make that sentence present tense so I can say "damnit I AM pretty sweet" ;p
Author alwayssme Posted November 2, 2008 Author Posted November 2, 2008 Oh MAN how I wish I could have dealt with this break up the way my ex and I first did... We split for like a month - just graduated highschool, and were silly, who knows! But yeah. He said he wanted to break up. I was like "okay". Cried for 5 minutes (I timed it) then stopped. I said to myself "Okay Lauren. You're not gonna let this guy hurt you like Patrick did (my ex-ex). You are way better off." I legitimately got over the guy. Then a month later he says "I miss you", him and I met up, hooked up, and then I was kinda like... still not caring! I told people we were at best friends with benefits, and he got upset, so I was like "okay fine were dating". Hahaha. Oh God. It sounds so immature now. I remember (we were in a LDR), when I'd go and visit and like, by the last day I'd just want him OFF me. Like, 4-5 days of pure him, bleugh! Its actually insane when I think about it. I was completely like, all over him but at the same time very whateverish about him! I guess somewhere in the next year and a half I completely flip flopped and was TOO attached. God only knows. Sometimes, just sometimes, I love myself. Namely, the crazy crazy girl I was. Don't know if I wanna go back to that, but it sure as hell makes me smile. Past me, give me strength![/quote] hahaha...i know exactly what you mean. Same thing with me. I was very much into him but at the same time very whateverish. I surprised myself ALOT after seeing how I reacted when it was over for good. So weird!!!! lol... Life is so funny. One minute I had the upper hand, then the next thing you know I'm on LS making threads about him haha...it's ok though, the world spins, so we'll be up there soon!
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