openbook08 Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 wow, Ive never posted on anything like this before but I have been reading the last few months & just wanna say thanks, no one in particular but theres been some great advice on this forum ... if you can bear with me Id like to now share my story... then I want to be able to give back some advice just like many of you have already done! so.. HELLO! I was with my bf for nearly 5years, he was my first love & I really thought we'd be together forever... (lookin back now the last year or so wasnt great .. hes not a very nice person whereas I am the opposite to the extreme & often to my detriment... I was always there to look out for him & love him unconditionally but there was no1 lookin out for me) then out of the blue last June he started actin odd I can read him like a book so I kinda knew what was comin... we met up & agreed to a break for a month , however after 2 weeks(did the NC & stuck with it) (when he knew exactly where I was - at a really good friends bday celebrations) he TEXT me to tell me it was over(been with me since he was 18..never made any decisions on his own..spent 2 much time together didnt do anything anymore basically wed stopped living& were too young to do so...all stuff I agreed with) I think both he and I thought I was the kinda person whod go to pieces over this but I didnt (or at least I didnt let him know that, didnt dignify it with a response & kept my tears behind closed doors) I made lots of plans made sure weekend were always full & busy etc etc it was very hard & I was hurting so bad but I kept my dignity. from the day he sent the text to about 10days later he kept ringing & ringing but I chose not to answer. however I bumped into him by accident one day...it was sooo nervewracking we talked out a lot of stuff & parted on good terms. he began to text & ring again... wont go into detail but I was sure we were headin for reconciliation..met up a few times kissed... until I announced I was goin on a girls holiday he seemed to turn nasty & it ended in a call where he said he didnt love me anymore & only wanted to be friends & a lot more hurtful stuff... so that night I wrote him a letter tellin him i wished him all the best didnt regret our time together but that i couldnt be friends with him & to stop contacting me. so I went on my hol & had a ball kissed 2guys both of whom made me feel like a million dollars something my ex hadnt managed in a long time. struck me how a complete stranger could have that effect yet the man I loved couldnt... I got back from my hol refreshed revived full of hope. I really felt I was gonna get through this.. still kept busy but was beginning to lose that black cloud hangin over me... anyway about 2wks later I got a call...was shocked to see it was my ex (after all he put me thru I should never have ans...) he asked to meet & basically told me hed made a huge mistake..only said he didnt love me so I could move on..so sorry...knows he didnt deserve another chance but was certain now I was the girl he wanted to be with forever..wanted to marry & never wanted to lose me again. I was thrilled but cautious & we talked about this but spent the next few hours just lost in love & I really thought how lucky we were to have a second chance & fix the mistakes. that lasted about a week when he started off agin about bein unsure & his head & decisions. I wish now Id told him to F off but bein the mug I tried to help him thru it he said he felt as if he was goin crazy ...1 min hed be all over me the next snapping at me. after about 2weeks I had enough ... I had begun to change too & realised he didnt deseve me so I told him it was over & he had to stop hurting me & leave me alone for good now. so this was around the start of Sept. from then till 2weeks ago he always found a way or reason every 10days or so to get in touch (more fool me for responding) & 2weeks ago he was ringin everyday callin to my house to do somethin etc until fortunately for me I found out from a very good friend he has a new girlf..for the last few weeks. it was like a bullet thru my heart. so i changed my no. blocked his emails deleted my facebook acc. hes back to the same pattern of depending on a girl & living in her pocket. he wrote me a letter last week but I asked my mom to read it & destroy it. I dont wanna know. she just said nothin of interest in it to you... so here I am open book 2008!! I know hes not right for me...at least not right now... but its hard right?? any thoughts?? ps you deserve a medal if you actually manged to keep reading, thanks X
kizik Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 No right-minded person is going to respond to this until you: -shorten it -make paragraphs -make it more comprehensive
Author openbook08 Posted November 2, 2008 Author Posted November 2, 2008 ok Kizik. thanks for the heads up! as I said Im new to this...have actually never posted on a forum before so excuse my ignorance to the etiquette involved. understand what you mean..guess I got carried away ! never mind. many thanks for your response ps hope this was short enough!!!
lofi_tokyo Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 I'll be honest - I had to skim some parts because its just too much of a block of text but I'll say this! Its awesome that you started to move on before you found out he was dating someone new. That gives you a bit of an upper hand - you weren't waiting on him (or not too much), and so even though the news hurt you, you were ahead in healing. Good job! As I'm sure you are aware from reading these forums - go NC with that guy! Sounds like you've already started, so now just get ready for the occasional but incredibly tormenting desire to contact him ... and resist it at all times. You deserve better and it sounds like you know that! So keep us posted when you need to, and best of luck.
alwayssme Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 i read your story...something similar happened to me. my ex broke up with me then wanted me back, PROMISED me he would never do this again and how he had realized it was a huge mistake. then a couple months later he said he wanted to break up completely. then we kept on seeing each other and kissed blah blah blah, he said he was confused, and then he didn't love me anymore, and then confused again, and then he didn't love me, we had to go our separate ways, but could be friends? i was a mess...still am hurting but picking up the pieces slowly. i think you should definetely stay away from him and just focus on you. it might get lonely but being lonely is better than being "hopeful" only to get crushed again and go back to the same painful circle. if he truly loves you and wants to be with you, i'm sure he'll move mountains to win you back. but waiting on something that might not happen is heartbreaking. so just keep in mind it's over and move on. it doesn't mean you're not going to be hurting, it just means you're accepting that for awhile you're going to have to deal with this pain and let time pass. heartbreaks are exhausting especially when you were with that person for so long and saw them everyday. on top of letting go of someone you're in love with, you also have to let go of your usual routine. it feels like your whole life has changed and turned upside down. But as hard as it may be to get over this, it's not impossible. we will all get over them someday. For now just stay strong and know that you're not alone in this!
Author openbook08 Posted November 5, 2008 Author Posted November 5, 2008 thanks so much alwaysme...its a funny old world sometimes hey but we're in it together hope things are goin well with u!
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