MM wife just can't let go ????!!!! (long)

[pcass2008]

Back ground, MM got caught cheating twice with same OW. No kids, he's unemplyed, got his green card marrying the W, she gave him black eye the first time and so on..

 

My e-mail to the MM n W.

 

A Pathetic user who lies, cheats, and manipulates women, quit trying to contact me or I will call the police and get a restraining order on you and your psychotic wife. It's none of your damn business if I am or not. You obviously don't give a ****, if I am according to your text messages to my friend so why would you ask? Get on with your so-call pathetic life and marriage and leave me the hell alone!!! You both go on your merry way with your materialistic marriage. Be stuck in a marriage where you once BITCHED and claimed that you were miserable with a control freak wife. What would she say if I send her email's you wrote to me about the her? Oh wait.... she need her dog to follow her around. I don't want anything to do with you, so go away and go **** yourself. You're nothing but a lying cheating user who used me for understanding and kindness. You're NOTHING but a selfish prick. Goodbye!

 

p.s. too bad W is too stupid to know that she's just your sugar momma paying for your services... degrees from college don't make a person smart at everything.

 

Her response (note he has nothing to say)

 

I received your email.

 

I respect your feelings of also wanting to move on. I know that you must have been hurt too by having MM rollercoaster his feelings with you over

a 2 year period. It's clear he used you, cheated on me, and lied hundreds

of times.

 

Nonetheless, it takes 2 to have an affair. So on your end, you chose a

married man -- regardless of how unhappy he may have felt in his marriage.

Additionally, it was clear that I never knew the complete truth about your

intimacy with my husband until Todd contacted me 6 months ago. Rolf led me

to believe that you were just co-workers, friends and were never sexual.

Clearly, I was in DENIAL until ur friend contacted me. Of course, I didn't want

to believe that Rolf was cheating on me, and I was naive enough to believe

him.

 

It doesn't matter to me what kind of **** that MM talked about me while

he was with you. It really doesn't, I know enough to have had a broken

heart for 2.5 years. I also saw some clippings of emails and pictures

thanks to your 'friend' Todd. So, that picture has been clear enough.

 

Still, I love my husband and always have. What you don't know is that my husband and I

have always had a strong foundation, which is why I'm even still in the

picture today. But for his own reasons, he ran away from his 'real'

feelings to avoid himself and instead ran to you for support and avoidance

of his self and me and our marriage and family.

 

What I don't think you acknowledge is that the true victims of your affair

include me and your son. Your son has his mom/you to cope with. I have

my husband. As such, my husband has seen a therapist every Tuesday for the past 6

months. He has also seen a couples therapist with me for every Thursday

for the past 6 months. We have been working very hard on reconnecting the

foundation of our love and interests. As a result, it has resided in my

mind that you may or may not be pregnant. I've chosen to accept my husband's

severe faults from the past and work on our marriage. This is why I seek

to know if you are pregnant, I just want to konw, that's it. For the sake

of understanding that I was a victim in your affair and that we are women,

I would GREATLY appreciate knowing if you are or are not.

 

Ultimately, we do not want to bother you or cause you any more hurt. This

emailing is not healthy for any of us. A simple answer of 'yes' or 'no'

would enable all of us to truly move on -- unless of course you feed on the

extended drama for retaliation and resentment purposes.

 

 

Advise please....

[norajane]

I'm not sure what your title "MM wife just won't let go" refers to. Do you mean she won't let go of her husband? Or she won't stop contacting you?

 

If you mean she won't stop contacting you, she made it pretty clear in her email that she doesn't want any more email contacts with you, except to know whether you are pregnant. So tell her that you aren't (or are you??) and then it will be done.

 

If you mean she won't let go of her husband, well, that happens. There's nothing you can do about it, and it doesn't sound like you want MM anymore anyway, so it shouldn't matter what she does.

[LucreziaBorgia]

I can understand her wanting to know if you are pregnant. There is nothing more horrific for a BS than the idea of an OC. If you aren't, simply reply back "I am not pregnant, and I want no further contact with either of you. Any further communication will result in the filing of a harassment charge (this sounds harsh, but hopefully she won't call your bluff on this one).

 

If she still won't let go, it might be a good bet for you to do so. Cut off all contact. Block any incoming emails and stop emailing them. Change your number if you have to. If you can afford it, move and don't leave any way of them tracking you.

[noforgiveness]

Wow. Very classy email and she sure treats you with much more respect than you her. Maybe you can take the lead from her and learn to be more respectful of people. From the look of her writing and yours the mm definitely went slumming.

[me4u2]

Tell them if you are pregnant or not. If you aren't, then cut off all contact period. They are together, they want to stay together no matter how dysfunctional you think they may be, they are working at their marriage. I thought her reply was exceptional.

 

If you are pregnant, I sure hope someone has some advice because I would think that brings on an entirely different answer other than "no contact".

[wildsoul]

She wrote you a polite and fair email, one that you need to accept graciously. She IS moving on, with her MM. Let them both go.

 

Dunno what the pregnancy drama is, but if you are pregnant then let her/him know so that everyone is informed of your decisions about it. If you're not pregnant (but have given them reason to believe you might be) then clear that up right away instead of causing additional worry.

 

It's game over.

You're the one that needs to let go now.

Go on with your healing from this mess. It can only get better.

 

PS: It's not cool to leave their names in her email on public view. Maybe a moderator will edit the names out for you if you ask.

[GPFan]

Her reply to your angry e-mail is both gracious and calm. If you are trying to trick them into believing you are pregnant with an eye toward causing further damage to their marriage, shame on you! This is bunny-boiler behaviour.

 

Take a deep breath, calm down for a moment and look at what you are doing to yourself and your son. Tell them you aren't pregnant and move on as he is no longer available to you.

[Dark-N-Romantic]

If you are pregnate by him, there is only one thing he owes you, the respect that comes from being the mother of his child. Now the child you are carrying on the other hand does. He deserves to have his father in his life and for his expenses to be half paid for by him. That's it. If you are truly pregnate by him, you have truly entangled yourself into something that will be with you for a lifetime through the child you are carrying.

 

You are the one who needs to let go. You are the one who has to face the facts that you put yourself in this situation. Look, in case you have not heard it, a straying spouse is going to be a straying spouse, how complete the straying is deals with the morals of his or her targets. I wish you and y'alls child well. Now is the time you need to focus on yourself and the child you are now carrying.

 

 

DNR

[jj33]

PCass its understandable that you are very hurt. But your anger is misplaced.

 

1. Your view of their marriage doesnt matter. Its their marriage and they have chosen to stay together. You may not understand it or agree with it, but you dont get a vote on that subject. As WS said game over. He is staying with his wife.

 

2. If you are pregnant you should tell them. My hunch is you are not.

 

3. If you are not pregant leave the W alone. If you want to rant at the H that is up to you, but his W is not the problem. He is the one who lied to you. He is the one who hurt you. She didnt do anything at all.

 

4. She has behaved with incredible grace although she was betrayed by this man as well and your email was shall we say not as graceful. She is not attacking you.

 

If you can get IC it may be very helpful it sounds like you have a lot of issues to sort out.

 

Why does everyone rant that the marriage is a sham that the H doesnt love the W that the man really loves them?

 

Wake up and smell the coffee people. Hes married to the woman. If it was so so bad, he wouldnt be. Why he stays is neither here nor there. The fact is they are staying...

[bentnotbroken]

What a class act. You should try modeling her behavior. It may serve you well in the future.

[NoIDidn't]

Because I know what its like to be a drama junkie, I think that her calm response to you just set you off.

 

She was cool, calm, and collected in her response. She only needs an answer from you. Why are you dragging this out is the better question?

 

Why don't you tell us? Are you pregnant or not?

[Reggie]

You have to admit, she sounds much more articulate than you. Perhaps she is quite a bit brighter. Obviously, she has more character than you.