thromback Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 Hey guys just want to let you know whats up. I've been dating this girl for about six months. She's from Holland. She was an intern at my job. before she left, I wanted to break up because I thought the ldr wouldnt work she insisted on dating, and I've been real nice and flexible. She saw a picture of me with my friends (all the girls have boyfriends- with my roomates). I'm 19 and I go to college. She just accused me of cheating. Here's what she said "I hope I didn't ruin your day/night, with this, I just had to tell you what was on my mind. You asked me if you're being a a bad boyfriend, well as far as I know you're not, please don't analyse every single litlte thing you've said, cuz really you haven't said anything wrong that's really not it. But you know how women more than men follow their feeling, like something inside of you that's telling you something. Well something inside of me was just telling me that something just ain't right and more then before I have been starting to feel the distance between us. I mean holland didn;t just move further from away america, but you know what mean, like there's something that's standing between us. But maybe I'm just crazy and maybe I've let people talk me into thinking this. like people would ask me aren't you afraid he's going to cheat on you? and you never know what he's really doing cuz it's not like there's anybody there who would tell you. and I'd say no I'm not afraid he'll cheat on me I trust him. but the more I'd think about it I started not being so sure about it anymore. I'm just really confused right now and not sure what to do, but like I said before I don;t want to break up, cuz I don't think that'll make me feel better at all. I'm really sorry about all of this." I think I'm just going to beak up with her. Let me add this- I'm strait edge- I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs. I never even tried any. There is no reason for her to think I'm cheating. Also shes going to Spain for six months and I said that if anything I should worry about some Rico suave taking you away. She said that yes I'm a flirt but all the guy in my major are gay. Basically, she is saying she would cheat on me if she got the chance. Am I overreacting or being a dick??
Dark-N-Romantic Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 She has every right to assume your cheating and you have every right to show her that your not. Like she is afraid and confused and between distancce and friends, she does not know what to think. This happens in a lot of relationships, no so more than long distance ones. But, now if you two should break up or not. That is the biggest problem. Ask yourself and her these questions: Are you able to trust her and yourself?Are you willing to find out how far she is willing to go to trust you and you prove her trust to her?Are you and she really able to avoid the temptations that are doubled or more against you?Are you two serious about once again seeing each other and what steps are you two taking towards it? (i.e. getting passports, Visas if necessary, planned vacation time, saving of money for visits)Is this holding on really healthy or am we just too afraid to move on and possibly miss something?You guys are really young, like you said, your 19. Don't get me wrong, it is romantic and all, but it is going to take a lot of time, effort, and energy like nothing you have experienced before. Make sure two are holding on for the right reason and not some fantasy notions. DNR
carhill Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 OP, my bet is she's already cheating on you. Rationalization is at work
Author thromback Posted November 2, 2008 Author Posted November 2, 2008 dude your probably right that's what I said. I'm waiting for her to respond.
carhill Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 This is what I read: Basically, she is saying she would cheat on me if she got the chance. I'm taking that one step further and opining she has already done so and is rationalizing her behavior by accusing you
Author thromback Posted November 2, 2008 Author Posted November 2, 2008 carhill your the man. Thanks dude i just wanted to make sure i wasn't overexaggerating
Author thromback Posted November 2, 2008 Author Posted November 2, 2008 update**** She apologized and I proved my point on how unreasonable she was being. She explained to me flirting in Holland is different than in American which is bs but i believe her that she wont cheat on me (for now).
mental_traveller Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 I'm not even sure this is the right question to ask. The real question to ask is why you are "dating" someone thousands of miles away on another continent, when all you get is no sex, annoying BS accusations of infidelity, and well-founded concerns that she'll be sleeping around either at home or in Spain on her trip. I mean really, where is the upside for you in all of this? Dump her and find some nice girl locally who you can actually have a proper relationship with.
Author thromback Posted November 3, 2008 Author Posted November 3, 2008 dude your prob right but shes moving to america to live with me in june and shes coming down in dec
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