carhill Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 OP, you could approach him professionally and indicate that, due to a very personal situation being your mind a lot of late, you have been looking at your options and even have considered leaving the firm's employ. Then, gauge his reaction. Are you over your ex? I read this: I saw a picture today of my ex, the one I've been in love with for years Is "been" meaning past-tense and you no longer respond to signs of his existence in a way which defines "being in love". Or, is it still present tense?
Author spookie Posted November 2, 2008 Author Posted November 2, 2008 This isn't impossible. First, don't act like you have a crush on him at work, ever, make sure he never gives you extra attention at work. I know he's your boss but it looks like he isn't a boss that is heavily in charge of you being promoted. I think that if this was a competitive, cut throat work situation is might be different. As far as I'm concerned he's not in charge of you becoming VP of Marketing or Partner in a firm, he just trains you and looks over your figures. I do think this makes it slightly easier. I think you should tell him how you feel, but do it OUTSIDE of the work place or at least after hours. Make sure he knows that you won't do/say anything drastic or public to put him in a sticky situation. Right. I'm the only person reporting to him. Basically he just delegates part of his work to me, but there's another person in charge of our (small) department, who would be responsible for promotions etc. I barely ever interact with that person, however. It's not a cut-throat environment, but still, it would be shady if we started dating. Even I think so. Ideally I could find a way for him to STOP being my boss. That would solve everything.
Storyrider Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 Spookie, you do have a tendency to see a man as perfect when you are first interested. It is important to know this about yourself and calibrate accordingly.
Author spookie Posted November 2, 2008 Author Posted November 2, 2008 Spookie, you do have a tendency to see a man as perfect when you are first interested. It is important to know this about yourself and calibrate accordingly. Yah, I understand this. I'm not doing anything rash. Usually though my tendency is to overlook or rationalize possible flaws, which I'm nevertheless AWARE of. In this case I don't even know what I'd characterize as imperfect. I don't think he could ever get on my nerves and he has all those qualities I loved in my ex that are so hard to find (such as masculinity trumping my own).
Nemo Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 (such as masculinity trumping my own). I'd cut back a little on the testosterone gel and patches, unless your balls are fun to play with.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 Are you sure he is single? Maybe he keeps that part of his life under wraps at work.
Arise_Serpentor Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 Please! Listen to me in all earnest, and Im being totally serious! DONT THINK IF THINGS ARE MEANT TO HAPPEN THEY WILL!!! You have take control your own life! You have to LIVE it! Don't wait around expecting fate to control life! Great artists/athletes/singers/musicians...anything that takes practice means it requires hard work for who they are! You have to work at life as well! Life is like a river where we are all at the mercy of the current, but its up to us to create our own oars and steer ourselves where we want to be!!! Don't wait for things that are meant to happen! You have to DO something about it!
GPFan Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 Spookie? I just posted a reply to another thread of yours regarding a married co-worker. I might suggest you step back from all work relationships right now as you seem to be stretched in many directions. Focus on your job and being the best employee/professional you can be. All of these other relationship issues are distractions and not conducive to a peaceful existence. Just a suggestion.
Author spookie Posted November 2, 2008 Author Posted November 2, 2008 Spookie? I just posted a reply to another thread of yours regarding a married co-worker. I might suggest you step back from all work relationships right now as you seem to be stretched in many directions. Focus on your job and being the best employee/professional you can be. All of these other relationship issues are distractions and not conducive to a peaceful existence. Just a suggestion. I am concentrating on being the best employee I can be. In fact, I've become somewhat of a workaholic, and all these complicated work relationships I've gotten into are just testament to the fact that I spend all my time working.
JamesM Posted November 3, 2008 Posted November 3, 2008 I agree with the other poster who said do not tell HR. Please don't. It will do nothing for you or your hopes of a relationship. It will probably kill any chance of a relationship, and it could begin an investigation into your boss as to why you feel that way. It could be that that these young HR reps will not believe you that nothing has happened yet. The next thing you know an investigation into a possible sexual harassment case begins. Seriously. HR people are notoriously paranoid to prevent legal problems. You would be moved, and your boss reprimanded. As for it being meant to be, this is partially true, but it doesn't mean that we sit and hope that it happens. Don't tell your boss your feelings. I remember two cases of this happening to me. It makes it uncomfortable to say the least...even if I wanted to share the love. And don't tell your coworkers in your or other departments. They may tell your boss. Of course, they could be like one of my supervisors. A girl told of her interest in me to this supervisor, but the supervisor never told me until after the girl left. Still I have no doubt that she would have been better off saying nothing. The best move for you is at this point to do nothing. Let it wait. Your overwhelming love for your boss may prove to last and be real, or it may show itself to be a deep admiration for him as a person. You may find that as you get to know him that this love for him will develop into a great friendship and nothing more. But if it does develop into something more, then you can make the move. As for him finding someone else, you cannot stop this. If he wants you, he will wait or make a move. If he wants someone else, then it will be better for both of you. Why do we want what we know we can't have? OR do we want it BECAUSE we can't have it?
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