Greeney03 Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 Alright, I'll make this short and sweet guys.. I've been dating my girlfriend for about 4 months now and recently her ex bf has been talking to her and trying to get back together with her. This really bothers me. How should I deal with her ex? Do I need to do actions? I want to do some action, but I'm afraid to become the 'bad guy' in my gf's eyes. P.S. - My gf's ex was her first love - Should there be a competition between me and the ex? There shouldn't be right? I'm her bf. - My gf loves me, but when her ex get in the picture she becomes totally different person. - Also the most important question is, my gf's ex doesn't know that we're together. My gf does not want to tell her ex that we're together? She said she doesn't want to regret anything. Thanks in advance guys.... Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted November 2, 2008 Share Posted November 2, 2008 She's wavering.... I think you need to ask her to come clean, and lay it on the line to her. One: She tells her ex- she's now with someone else. NOT "seeing someone" - but "With someone". Secondly, you ask her to respect you and your affections for her by ceasing contact. How can you compete or take action, if he doesn't even know you exist? No, she's messing here. And I think you need to explain to her that it makes you feel uneasy, uncomfortable, unappreciated and sidelined. So what the heck does she want to do about it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Greeney03 Posted November 2, 2008 Author Share Posted November 2, 2008 She's wavering.... I think you need to ask her to come clean, and lay it on the line to her. One: She tells her ex- she's now with someone else. NOT "seeing someone" - but "With someone". Secondly, you ask her to respect you and your affections for her by ceasing contact. How can you compete or take action, if he doesn't even know you exist? No, she's messing here. And I think you need to explain to her that it makes you feel uneasy, uncomfortable, unappreciated and sidelined. So what the heck does she want to do about it? Thanks for the quick reply Geishawhelk! We were doing fine before her ex suddenly came out. I've asked her before and she said that she's very confused...She loves me, but she still has feelings for him. Personally, I don't think it's love, she's just overwhelmed by his attention right now. On the side note, she waited for her ex for 3 years, but her ex didn't get back together with her. Now that she's with me, I think the ex is overly jealous that my gf is finally happy with someone else and he can't accept that. Should I give her time to think? Or do I tell her to lay it all on the line and stop playing safe? Sometimes, I don't know my role in this relationship. One more question, does it make me a bad BF if I told her to stop talking to her ex? I just don't want her to hate me. Link to post Share on other sites
XNemesisX Posted November 2, 2008 Share Posted November 2, 2008 One more question, does it make me a bad BF if I told her to stop talking to her ex? I just don't want her to hate me. This made me think of a quote I heard at work. It's some old country saying that ends with "let her rip she goin do it anyway." I think it means to let them go, they're gonna do it anyway. You can tell her to quit talking to her ex-boyfriend but she's going to do it anyway if she wants to so I wouldn't even bothering telling her not to. We can't control what others think, feel, and do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Greeney03 Posted November 2, 2008 Author Share Posted November 2, 2008 This made me think of a quote I heard at work. It's some old country saying that ends with "let her rip she goin do it anyway." I think it means to let them go, they're gonna do it anyway. You can tell her to quit talking to her ex-boyfriend but she's going to do it anyway if she wants to so I wouldn't even bothering telling her not to. We can't control what others think, feel, and do. You are right....I've tried it before and I found out today that she's still doing it... Link to post Share on other sites
GPFan Posted November 2, 2008 Share Posted November 2, 2008 Perhaps it is time to step back and give her space to decide what she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
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