kdaniels Posted November 1, 2008 Posted November 1, 2008 I meant, someone talk some sense in to me. Ok. I'm going to keep this short and to the point. I was seeing a guy for over a year (on and off. We weren't really in a relationship). I'm not going to get into the details of that in this post. In any case, a few months ago he decided he needed to be single because he's scared of having a failed relationship. He has 3 failed relationships back to back to back and he's really nervous about being with me. We do TRULY love each other and it's not a line. Once again, that's not the point. In any case, we stopped talking for about a month. Then we started talking again. We've been spending a lot of time together, still professing our love for each other, but being free to see different people. In any case, the other day he left me in his house (because he trusts me) and I went into his computer. I found a sex tape he had made with a "friend" of his during the time we were not talking. It has been driving me nuts because I know he's free to date whoever he wants. Also, it was during the time we weren't even talking to each other. I guess I'm just upset because I saw them sleeping together. He even took a picture of them kissing, which I was very upset about because he wanted to take a pic like that of him and I (us kissing). I even go over to his house and spend the night. However (and this is the TRUTH) I REFUSE to sleep with him because we are not together. We only cuddle, kiss SOMETIMES and that's it. He understands why I will not sleep with him. I guess I just need someone to talk some sense in to me and just tell me what I can do to get the picture out of my mind. Yes, I know I was wrong for going through his stuff. Yes, I know he's free to date who he wants, and so am I. I know I brought this on myself. I just need help (for me. This is NOT about the relationship we had b/c I'm not posting about it). I just needed to get it out because I sure can't tell him. Thanks for letting me vent.
You'reasian Posted November 1, 2008 Posted November 1, 2008 He made a tape? A tape?!?! Everyone uses dvd nowadays........There was some post like this earlier and basically everyone said that the person who found the tape shouldn't have watched it and that they were insecure. If this is an issue that bothers you about your man, you need to talk to him about it. Plain and simple. Tell him how it bothers you but you guys are apart and as you said, you and he are free to date who you want. Go out, find someone and move forward
Author kdaniels Posted November 2, 2008 Author Posted November 2, 2008 He made a tape? A tape?!?! Everyone uses dvd nowadays........There was some post like this earlier and basically everyone said that the person who found the tape shouldn't have watched it and that they were insecure. If this is an issue that bothers you about your man, you need to talk to him about it. Plain and simple. Tell him how it bothers you but you guys are apart and as you said, you and he are free to date who you want. Go out, find someone and move forward Sorry. I meant, it was on his computer. Not a tape. LOL. You are 100% right and that is what I needed to hear. It is insecurity and I shouldn't have watched it. PERIOD. I guess I'm just feeling guilty because I have no one to tell and I'm DEFINITELY not going to tell him because I was 100% WRONG. It's just weird b/c these past few weeks (after the "film" was made) we have been growing back closer together. But you are 100% right!!! I'm going to try and find that thread you were referring to.
Author kdaniels Posted November 2, 2008 Author Posted November 2, 2008 I read it and they were dead on. Thanks.
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