if you took back a cheater....how did you handle it?

[Dmoney28]

Hey LS friends. I had a question( female thoughts most valued). When you took back someone who cheated how did the process work? I know this is a slow and long process. And chances are it might not work out. But i believe we are all imperfect and we all screw up to one extent or another. But if you both still love each other....and they make clear efforts to change and correct the reason why they cheated...how did process work for you?

 

 

1.how did they show they were repented and remorseful

2.how long did it take before you decided to give them another chance after they proved themselves changed

3.How long before you cycles of anger finally slowed down

4. Did you want NC from them until your mind and emotions were right...or did you want them to prove thier love and loyalty to you

[lofi_tokyo]

1. After not talking for a year and a half, we got together on a whim, just because, and he apologized over and over and over. It wasn't anything pathetic, it was sincere apologies throughout our hangout. It got a bit excessive, but it was appreciated.

2. Still havn't decided if I will. But by now, its not about forgiving a cheap so much its been 4 years now since that split, we've grown in different directions. At 1.5 years broken up I was tempted, but I was also dating a new guy (my now most recent ex), and he won out over the cheating ex.

3. A longggg time. Even today, once in a blue moon, if him and I are hanging out in a group and he does something that twangs that chord in my heart, I feel a moment of anger. It goes away super quickly, but the disgust lingers for about a day.

4. I wanted to be left alone, and thankfully, he did leave me alone. I just needed time to sort everything out. Get over the betrayal, get over the hurt, get over the anger... forget about him for a while.

 

 

I'm posting here because that ex wants me back. Maybe I'll go back someday, maybe I wont. I was with a man when he came back, and as such, did not bite. Now that I'm single? We'll I'm healing from my last relationship. Maybe someday I'll take him back, but... sometimes I see other things I didn't really like in him. Yes, I broke up with him for cheating. BUT! Now? After having time to get over him? I see so much more I may not like. Then again, I see a lot of what I DID like. HRM!

[Dmoney28]

thanks for you perspective tokyo