dakotamaiden Posted November 1, 2008 Posted November 1, 2008 alot of you say dont call the guy. my guy friend always tells me to be the one to call because thats just the way he is, so i call and we spend hrs on the phone. is there anything wrong with this????
Author dakotamaiden Posted November 1, 2008 Author Posted November 1, 2008 so whats so wrong with it, if we enjoy talking to each other and i dont mind to be the one calling
Geishawhelk Posted November 1, 2008 Posted November 1, 2008 I assumed as you posted, that you did mind. if you don't mind, what's the issue?
likestolaugh Posted November 1, 2008 Posted November 1, 2008 nothing wrong with that. I LOVE it when a girl calls me without me having to prompt her.
Author dakotamaiden Posted November 1, 2008 Author Posted November 1, 2008 i was wondering if anyone else does this, when the guy wants you to call instead of him. he told me to call instead of him, wondering if any other female does this???
Geishawhelk Posted November 1, 2008 Posted November 1, 2008 Well, ok... let's take this on to the next logical question.... Why won't he call you? (And don't give me his 'that's just the way I am' crap.... That's a cop-out.) What is he, cheap? Controlling? Uncaring? if you didn't call him, would he eventually call you? Have you tried this? How do you feel - really - about the fact that he won't call you....? What the hell does "That's just the way I am" mean, anyway? Does this mean he won't call anyone else either? or is he 'just the way I am' only with you? And if so, doesn't that put you in a lesser priority zone compared to others? That will do for starters.....
Author dakotamaiden Posted November 1, 2008 Author Posted November 1, 2008 a guy friend that could lead to romantic issues , we are friends right now with chemistry.
Geishawhelk Posted November 1, 2008 Posted November 1, 2008 Trust me - If I had "a guy friend that could lead to romantic issues" - he'd have to show a bit willing and meet me half way. Even calls. If he says he doesn't ring me because that's just the way he is, that to me is a big red flag... too laid back to make the effort. In this.... And what other situations....?
carhill Posted November 1, 2008 Posted November 1, 2008 I wouldn't invest anything more in the "chemistry" until he takes some initiative. I say that from the man's perspective (and a mostly shy man at that). If he's into you, he'll call, especially if he has no doubts about your interest in him as a friend.
Author dakotamaiden Posted November 2, 2008 Author Posted November 2, 2008 so what if hes a really good guy, worth the time and effort, hes had all bad relationships in the past where they left him, so hes scared of a relationship. we are in our 40's. i think it is well worth my effort and time to get thru to him. i know he likes me.
Geishawhelk Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 Look. You posted, but you seem determined to not listen to what we're saying to you. Then you come in and infill other details, and make other excuses, as if that's supposed to make a difference. Remember there are two sides to every story. You've had his side of his 'bad experiences' but don't forget, his previous partners were part of the experience too.... It can't have been all their faults, 100%, let's be logical. Proceed with caution.
carhill Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 We all have pasts and experiences which color us, trust me (I'm older than him). The important thing is the here and now. A good question to ask yourself is do you really want to invest yourself in someone this way? Do this..... Tell him (not ask him) that "you'd love it if he would call you at xxx". Do explain why or discuss it. Just leave it at that. See what he does. Tell us before talking to him again.
Meet 4 Coffee Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 Oh absolutely not. He's just not that into you.
Author dakotamaiden Posted November 2, 2008 Author Posted November 2, 2008 he told me the other day "i love ya and you are great"
Meet 4 Coffee Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 1. Have you met this guy in person? Is he taking you out on dates? 2. Actions speak louder than words.
Dark-N-Romantic Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 Its okay if you are okay with it. If not, then say something. We all have our oddities, for me, I don't just go by a woman's body language, she has a voice, I want her to use it. If she is okay with telling me everything, then fine. But, if she thinks I should be more intutive about her, I will try or not try, it all depends on how I feel about her. And she will know what she will need to do. DNR
Author dakotamaiden Posted November 2, 2008 Author Posted November 2, 2008 yes iam okay with how things are. hopefully we will become closer in time. i know it might take him a little more time than me. but iam fine with that, it will be well worth it in the end. hes a great guy.
Dark-N-Romantic Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 And in the end Dakota, that's all that matters, not so much others. Only you and he and determine what is normal and natural for you two. Just as long as neither one of you are hurting the other or yourselves, we can't tell you what is right or wrong. DNR
Author dakotamaiden Posted November 2, 2008 Author Posted November 2, 2008 thanks so much for your help !!!!!
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