Signals or Straight Talk?

[Dark-N-Romantic]

Okay, I am the first to admit, I am one of those dense people who DOES NOT really get signals sometimes and prefer a person to say what they mean up front. Its not just because I have read signals wrong, but also because others have used signals to play with my emotions.

 

So, what kind of person are you? Are you the intuitive kind that gets signals and can work from those when trying to find someone? Or do you prefer someone to just tell you how they feel about you?

 

Are you a signal giver? Or do say what you mean and mean what you say kind of person?

 

For those of you who are signal persons, would you just bypass someone who just don't get the signals your throwing their way? Or do you hit them over the head with words?

 

 

DNR

Just one more thing to add to the plate of my understanding dateless life.

[likestolaugh]

I hate signals. But that's just because I'm shy and probably wouldn't act on them anyway. So verbal comm all the way!

[Touche]

Nope, I'm a say what you mean and mean what you say kind of person.

 

Also, I have always gone for guys who were the type who didn't play games. I've only been really in love twice and both those times the men were right up front with me, telling me how they felt within just a few dates.

 

Instead of scaring me away, it made me respect them and take them more seriously.

 

Some women are "creeped" out by that though...go figure.

[goldencloud]

i think both have their pros and cons

signals can be fun initally...however once the flirtation/dating/relationship progresses...it can get a bit annoying as people have a tendency to misread/miscommunicate

i would honestly prefer the person be upfront with me...that way im not in the dark!

[V.Vixen]

I like signals for the initial should or should you not approach me thing.

 

 

I give a smile and direct eye contact to a man who I find attractive. I tend to be aloof normally, so otherwise they would never ever approach!

[Dark-N-Romantic]

I hear y'all. To be honest I am sometimes surprised by hearing this from women. I guess t.v. and reading have kindof tainted some of my views about how women are. They are usually portrayed as people who get mad when a person doesn't notice what they are saying with their bodies. You know, like one of the scenes where the guy saids or does something totally of the wall or miss the no verbal cue and your thinking, yeah that relationship is over. That is also another reason why I am afraid to just go by signals alone.

 

My aunty always reminds me about one girl at the first Church I was a member of who had a thing for me when I was younger. I am the shy, quiet guy for the most part, and so I did not know. I think I knew who it was, but by that time, it wouldn't have made any difference, she was leaving the state. I sometimes still think about her, she had paleish brown skin, you know the kind of black woman you know she has some very light skin heritage in her. Long silky black hair. Soul catching brown eyes. A body that only God could have made for an angel. And a voice sweeter than any song ever song.

 

Well, that is why I don't like just signals. And agree they can be fun though. But for me, not when you are trying to make a point or say something meaningful, like "I find you attractive." or "Do you mind if I get to know you better.", especially if it is a chance meeting.

 

 

DNR

[V.Vixen]

Well, I am a traditional girl in the sense that I never do the initial approach with a man.

 

I just don't, never have. My "signal" is what gives himthe go ahead, and if he doesn't then I assume he isn't interested.

 

 

Sad thing is that I have heard from MANY guys that they are intimidated by me. WHY? I have no idea! I am not an intimidating girl!

[Dark-N-Romantic]

Well, I am a traditional girl in the sense that I never do the initial approach with a man.

 

I just don't, never have. My "signal" is what gives himthe go ahead, and if he doesn't then I assume he isn't interested.

 

 

Sad thing is that I have heard from MANY guys that they are intimidated by me. WHY? I have no idea! I am not an intimidating girl!

 

Women who I am seriously attracted to are very intimidating to me. Because they have a power over me and with any power, if it is miss used, it could cause some serious harm. Plus, there is the miss reading, you don't know how many times I though a woman was signalling me and got dissed because I dared talk to them. Or I thought a suggestive dance was an inventation for me to talk to them, only find out that was not so. Women many think men are the cruelest creatures on Earth, but there is nothing more crueler than a woman who knows she has power over men and uses that to their ruination.

 

Now, if there is anything to call a foolish "tradition" is this idea of what a man or woman should do in a relationship. How many women or men have been bypassed by he or she that could of been the love of their lives because of these "traditions?" I can understand if a woman or man is the shy type and might need the encouragement of the initatives of another.

 

A perfect example of a misread/misunderstood signal. If a woman is checking me out, I don't tend to smile or look back at her. It is not because I am not intersted in her, it is because I hope she has the courage to come speak to me. Or if a woman is attracted to me, but is only making small talk. I'll small talk back (I did this to one woman a friend of mine hooked me up with. It wasn't until she told me her feelings and intentions did I start to open up and take her seriously.).

 

 

DNR

[V.Vixen]

I think it is more than a tradition. I think there is a reason why it has been this way for all of this time. It is my belief that a man who can't approach me is not going to work out in the end, because of human nature and the way men/women work. I have actually studied this a lot, and it is just something that i think is the way it is for a reason. Who am I to mess with the history of sociology in relationships?

[Dark-N-Romantic]

I think it is more than a tradition. I think there is a reason why it has been this way for all of this time. It is my belief that a man who can't approach me is not going to work out in the end, because of human nature and the way men/women work. I have actually studied this a lot, and it is just something that i think is the way it is for a reason. Who am I to mess with the history of sociology in relationships?

 

I have studied this as well. And it all depends on the culture. There have been plenty of cultures and examples where the woman asked the man first and they lived happily ever after. So, it is not a tradition or a way of life. So, tell me, how many of your relationships have come to the fruition you wanted to because the guy asked you out first? For me, proof comes from when my goal is achieved (i.e. getting that woman down the isle). As a matter of fact, I have only asked one woman out, and that ended disaterously, I lost her phone number and she would not come online when I was stationed in Japan for 4 years. And all the ones where the woman asked me out, I worked hardest to keep going and most men who are not uptight about stuff like that will. And to tell you another thing... Both of my best brothers from the military recently married two beautiful women who talked to them first. Now if it works out that way for you is by your choice, not the guy's.

 

 

DNR