Do social networking sites effect your relationships positively or negatively?

[Nikki Sahagin]

Hey all!

 

The majority of us I would imagine have used in the past or continue to use now, social networking sites (i.e. myspace and facebook). But I was wondering, for those of us in relationships, how do these sites effect our relationships if they do at all? For instance if you are paranoid/jealous/untrusting do you find yourself constantly checking their profiles and possibly reading much more into comments/pictures etc? Or do you find it a relief that to a degree your other half's life is documented online for you?

[inlovewithlove]

Oh my god...Facebook is SO evil. I've had a really bad time with it. My girlfriend obsesses over my profile and is always asking me who the girls in my friends list are...always giving me grief for actually keeping in touch with old friends.

 

Finally I just couldn't take it anymore and I've turned off my profile. My life is so much better now.

[Jay34]

i think its worse, with all the damn comments and things no one wants to see

[GuerreroAzteca]

It is really about respecting each other. If you are in a relationship you have to be sincere. Nobody is going to like ex's or potential dates to have the ability to secretly message your loved one. If this is happening, and you dont know about it then it is a problem. I figure full disclosure is needed, if there is nothing to hide.

 

If your special someone respects you they will understand. Even god had to show people miracles for them to trust him.

[PrincessPeach]

If you look over their profiles relentlessly... then you are probably the type to get paranoid and be insecure about what you find there. I wouldn't want a guy questioning me about everything I post and do on myspace. It's not nice to be accused of doing something wrong or to be made feeling like you are when you aren't.

 

Overall I think social networking sites have much more potential to do harm than good for a serious relationship... particularly in the early stages.

[trubella]

i have to admit i do obsess over my bfs profile, for awhile i decided not to be a friend on his myspace page, so i wouldnt check in on what comments ppl left, but i finally gave in and sent a request he accepted not too long ago (regret it now)

 

sometimes he asks me about guys who post comments, half of them i dont even know so i dont pay much attention to what people write unless its just downright nasty, i think those sites do more harm than good.

 

do a search for posts about facebook, myspace here and you'll see why i think that.

[Charles1978]

Yep, they're definitely a negative in relationships. No doubt.

[Wozzie]

Myspace ruined my life. BIG TIME. Someone from school looked me up, told me how hot I am, how lucky my husband was to have me, etc. He stroked my ego, I fell for it, screwed him, almost lost my family, and by the grace of God have tried to be the wife I should have been all along.

 

(Myspace actually didn't ruin my life, it was my own fault...but still...)

[AlektraClementine]

Ha. I posted a thread today about this very subject.

 

For me, it's been a source of total displeasure.

 

I don't ask my bf many questions about his activity or about comments he receives because I think it's somewhat childish to obsess about it. BUT... in my case, my bfs online life is different than the life we lead with eachother and the people we actually know in real life.

 

It has caused me to feel pretty unsure about my relationship. Which is unfortunate because if it weren't for myspace and facebook, we'd be pretty happy.

[mental_traveller]

Negative on your relationship, and more importantly, negative on your life! A total waste of time IMO

[XNemesisX]

They definitely have negative effects on serious relationships. They breed insecurity, obsession, and jealousy. My boyfriend and I both have facebook accounts and it has caused a lot of problems from time to time on both our parts. What bothers me the most is how these sites keep doors open that should be closed. And how easy it is to fall into an obsession with keeping tabs on each other through it, or even keeping up with their exes and old flames to see how you compare. I don't know a single friend who hasn't had a problem with this. I almost think it's best to not be involved in these sites if one is in a serious relationship or marriage, even though I have kept mine active. I will probably keep mine as long as he keeps his. It is nice to be able to keep in touch with friends, see their new pics, etc but it is without a doubt harmful to relationships.

[Nikki Sahagin]

Interesting to see the responses...

 

I do my best to avoid my boyfriends profile just because I don't want to turn insecure, jealous, obsessive about what I may or may not see. In fact i've tried to avoid pretty much EVERYONE'S profile and only visit them if I need to get in touch with them.

 

It's actually really bad how if you aren't part of a social networking site you pretty much become out of the loop...

[carhill]

No impact here, on our M. My W and I maintain separate sites. I kind of laugh at the clunkiness of such networks, having been on the internet for over a decade.

 

I spent a couple years on MS doing travelogues and I guess it was easier for internet friends to quickly find and read stuff there than on my web site, but most were members of forums like this one, so we all got together there anyway, and in real life.

 

In our circle of real life friends and family, we're lucky if we know anyone who checks their e-mail more than once a week, much less uses such sites. We're the "wierd" ones, mainly due to my interest in the internet as a portal to the world

[loveratud]

I've never really had an issue with it. If you're right after a breakup, facebook can be an issue with both parties trying to outdo each other in the "moving on" race. All but 4 of my friends on myspace are girls that I used to hook up with, because that's really the only purpose I ever saw in myspace. Now that I'm married I don't go on myspace often but to check my friend's photos and such. My wife doesn't have a myspace so she can't see my myspace profile, but I dread the day I have to explain how I know all those women.